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yet another temptation

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jmilly, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. I Feel like every time I come back to this website for Christian guidance, it's almost always about a guy I am interested in. I guess that is my Achilles heel so to speak. Today I felt like something had to give, and I was crying about the situation, so here I am.

    I have been SO blessed in the last half a year or so that I cannot tell you how amazing it is. God has saved me from a really dire employment situation, and blessed me with an AMAZING, coveted position just in the nick of time. Not only that that people I work with are great and I already am friends with many of them. However there is a distraction, and I feel as though this is me being tested. My office is located literally right next to the office of a single, attractive man about my age, who is into a few similar things as me. We literally can hear each other through the walls. I have tried to gauge his interest, but I am quite shy, so it is a drawn out dance. When i speak to him he seems to fumble over his words and not be able to put together a coherent sentence, but he hasn't asked me out. perhaps he is one to avoid dating a coworker (which is allowed, but some people are against it). But he is actually one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. And i don't say that very often.
    so the problem is that now my interest in him has developed into a crush and I am Really shy around him now, but I cannot stop thinking about him. It has started to interfere with my work. I do NOT want to take this amazing job blessing for granted. I was given this opportunity by God. But why did he place this husband-worthy guy who shares common interests with me, and who is single and available and seeking a relationship (i spotted him on a dating website i'm also on- we're a "match"), so close that we are literally next to each other all day, separated only by a thin wall? Why did He have to do that? Is this a test of my patience? I cannot focus. I find myself trying to easedrop through the walls. (I am ashamed to admit)
    I was so upset today that I barely got any work done because I was so focused on him that i was crying all evening after work. I have come to the conclusion that I need to follow God's plan for me. God gave me this job. I do not want to blow it because I was boy crazy and had a distracting crush. How can I focus on my work and forget about my crush?
    How do I pass the test? I need help because I feel so weak! I listened to a sermon by Joel Osteen in which he spoke about how you can either give in to what you want and face the pain of regret later, or you can deal with the pain of discipline now and be rewarded later. I feel this theory is applicable to me now. I do not want my work performance to suffer any more than it already has. Something has got to give, and I really would appreciate your kind wisdom.
  2. Here is my thoughts after praying. According to proverbs 16:3 amplified version.....Roll your works (plans) upon the Lord (commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and) so shall your plans be established and succeed.

    As you pray for wisdom according to James 1:5-6, and ask God His will, and if this is the one for you, leave it in His hands. Then somehow you have to get your mind back on your work. And just stay focused on what God has put before you. Because you do not want to look foolish for not getting your work done, nor do you want to get a bad review from your boss.

    This is a huge trust area, and it is not always easy to put things into God's hands and let them stay there without intervening in some way. But God knows you and who He has in store for your future husband. He knows who will be the best, and He has him already picked out for you, He is preparing you both at this moment, but this is something to let God handle.

    Just from reading what you have said, you have allowed this man be a distraction, so much so that it is consuming your thought life, and causing you to be upset. This is why i suggest that you refocus and try to put your emotions on the back burner. How much are you focusing on God right now? Is this man becoming an idol to you? Just things to think about. God wants to be our one and only. And if we choose to put things or people in front of Him, then things do not work out right. God loves you sooooo very much!! More than you can imagine. And as you put this area (and all areas) into His loving Hands, trust Him to give you peace within your spirit, to know who is the right one.

    Hope this helps! Many blessings of peace and joy be yours in abundance!
    Klub, GoolwaGirl, 2404 and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  3. Greetings jmilly

    Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.
    Isaiah 26:3

    You have lost your peace because your focus is on the fellow in the office and not on the Lord!
    Get your focus back on Jesus and sing His praises for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you
    His word won't fail you, peace will return if your focus is on the Lord.

    'But why did he place this husband-worthy guy who shares common interests with me, and who is single and available and seeking a relationship'

    Just because you are physically attracted to a man, doesn't mean he is husband worthy
    Your flesh may think so but there are many more considerations

    For Christians a relationship must be Christ centred and not unequally yoked
    It should be based on a mutual love of the Lord
    You don't mention if this man is a Christian or not, if he's not theres no point even thinking about him even if he were to show an interest

    God will not tempt you. He would never lead you into anything that is wrong.
    If you are being tempted it will be by the devil
    But praise the Lord again we have assurance in His most perfect word

    Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.
    James 1:13-16

    There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but Godis faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
    1 Corinthians 10:13

    Get engrossed in the Lord . Ask Him to fill your thoughts and not this man.
    Thank Him for the wonderful job you have and seek Him that you may work hard and without distraction

    The Lord will never let you down
    Cturtle likes this.
  4. I told my daughter to make sure she chooses the right husband because her future children are counting on her to pick the right daddy for them. Imagine yourself married to this man. Would he be the best daddy for your kids? How do you picture yourselves as a couple? A God-centered, church going couple...I hope and assume? Then why not start from the beginning. Church. Invite him to your church. See how he interacts with people of all ages. You may find he is a wonderful man(christian) or you my find he hates God. My advice is keep the relationship Christ-centered from the get-go.....your decision from there will be all down hill.....so invite him to church...as a friend. Then all will become clear.
  5. Thank you all for your response ! You are ALL right that i lost focus on the Lord. I was so "into it" (not sure how to describe it) until this guy came along. and I find myself breaking into my old boy-crazy habits I used to do from before I found Christ. That I thought i had overcome, but clearly not.
    Tomorrow I am going to church services! I missed it the past several weeks.... (coincidence with my current dilemma, i think not)

    Anyways, i wanted to answer the above quoted section of GoolwaGirl's response. That's the thing. he is Jewish! A part of me feels discriminatory when I thought, uh no... he's not Christian... but at the back of my head I did think well this will never work so what's the point. So I tried to dismiss it. But then he did these nice things for me, and showed interest. that's when everything fell by the wayside. I did consider the fact that he is not Christian. And a part of me wants a Christian man. But a part of me feels like it's discriminatory or anti-Semitic to reject him because he is Jewish. anyways, clearly i should focus on God right now. I think it doesn't really matter and is a waste of time to worry about whether or not this guys is Christian if this isn't right for me. :0(
  6. You are not being anti-semitic because of your thoughts to reject him because he is jewish. The Bible is very clear about not being unequally yolked with someone. Now if he was a Christian jew then you might be on the same page, but as it sounds like now...bottom line is that in your beliefs you are different. Just keep praying for his salvation, and God will take care of the rest.
    Many blessing of peace and joy to you!
  7. Thank you for all the responses. Today I went to church service, and prayed about it. I was really feeling like this "crush" i have i am supposed to "let it go." God knows I want a relationship with a kind, caring handsome man. I shouldn't force it on my own time. I need to do it on God's time. I am letting go.
    Just curious about this response however. Is this the type of temptation the devil might do? Putting this seemingly nice guy next to me, so close we can hear each other through the walls, who showed an attraction to me. Just to toy with me? so cruel!
  8. Btw does anybody have any tips on "letting go" ? I know it's the right thing to do but i am having great difficulties letting go of my hope / crush on this guy. I was even thinking about excuses to walk by his office (i didn't though), etc.
    I really know that the right thing to do is to just forget it, but I struggle!
  9. So... There are Jews and then there are Jews.... Remember that though they do not necessarily believe in Jesus (Though some do, but do not profess it outwardly because of discrimination by other Jews.. More than you might expect) - they DO worship "The Same God" as we do... It's a different situation than with say Buddists or Muslims - which when you dig deeper - you realize that the god they worship is NOT the God we worship....

    See - for many Jews - becoming a "Christian" means forsaking their entire cultural/ethnic identity... It's synonymous with becoming "A gentile"... and in their defense - this is what it has meant for approximately the last 1,700 years or so... Gentile "Christians" worked pretty hard to destroy communities of "Christian" Jews... and honestly, it's not like this has changed on a large scale - even today...

    It's a mistake to believe that The God we worship does not walk among them... He STILL does, though He has hidden himself from them... THEY may not be able to perceive it, but frequently we can (That's an irony, isn't it)... The Jews that I know who have accepted Jesus have a very special relationship with Him - they get an "outpouring" that's on a different scale than many of us see...

    What I will say is to try to discern The Hand of The Lord within the situation... Give it completely to The Lord... Ask Him to either open or shut the door for you...

  10. Thanks, JohnC, i actually didn't know i could be that specific. :) thanks.
  11. Isn't so cool how God created woman for man, and man does not exist without women as he is born of women? The Lord God is amazing in Wisdom in how he knows how to create a person of the opposite sex, and that they would be absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, handsome in every way to the person they are given to.
    The family unit was God's ultimate goal for mankind, because this is how he is within the God head. When God create women he brought the women to man, and I am sure that but a great big smile on his face!!! :) The Lord wants you to have that perfect person that he has for you, but you must first ask him to "bring" that person to you, in the same way God brought Eve to Adam. It is when we are looking ours selfs and wondering is it this person ,or that person, or maybe someone else that we get in trouble. I know for myself as a man when I was unmarried and I was searching for that special one, I found myself like you constantly thinking, hoping, wondering who it could be. It is like being in a "whirlwind" that you can not get out of. All of your time and energy is focused on just one thing, and you can not get it out of your head. It is almost like being in torment, with all your emotions driving you nuts!
    I know women do not like to be told what to do, so I am going to tell you what to do. :)
    Pray to God and tell him you desire that person he has for you, and thank him for bring him to you. After that seek first the Kingdom of God and his righiouess and all these things will be given you (husband). Don't go looking for him. just wait and the Lord will bring him to you, and when you see him, you will know without any doubt he is the one! Keep your heart on the things of God where you will have perfect peace.

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