Would Appreciate A Little Advice

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by Ranjith Joy, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. Hello,

    I have been struggling with the issue of whether I should leave the church I'm currently attending.

    I'm 25 and I have been attending this church since ever. Lately I have been having concerns over several doctrines and practices. Since I was taught that the teachings of my church were the closest I could get to true doctrines, it never crossed my mind to question them. But the past couple of years I have been more open to other Christians and have re-investigated the beliefs that I hold by reading the bible and I have come to realize that many of my beliefs are wrongs.

    Here are the list of beliefs/practices that I feel are contradictory to the word of God.

    1. The pastors in my church do not marry and only the unmarried are allowed to enter the ministry teach the word. Those who enter the ministry are expected to literally leave behind everything (house, parents, relatives etc) and never look back.

    2. The biblical Zion mentioned in the book of Revelation is a place in eternity inherited by unmarried ministers.

    3. Taking medicine would mean you would not be seen at the second coming of Jesus.

    4. The word "saint" is referred to the unmarried ministers during a typical sermon and believers are referred to as "believers".

    5. Only this church has the revelation and other churches of this world do not measure up to the standard of doctrine taught here.

    6. Evangelizing includes bring in members from other Charismatic/Pentecostal churches even though this church is one.

    7. Only those who follow all of the doctrines taught in this church are real Christians (they don't explicitly say that, but it can be inferred during every sermon).

    8. Believers from other churches and those who take medicine are not allowed to take the communion.

    9. Only those sinlessly perfect will go to heaven (in the sense that those who attain a state on this earth where they no longer commit sin)

    10. Topics such as helping the poor and the needy is never preached. One of the pastors once said that to avoid being prideful believers must give the money to the ministers and they would give money to those who need it (I don't think he had any ulterior motive in saying that).

    11. Believers are expected to ask the pastors before taking any decision in their life. There would be a feeling that God would punish us if we go against their advice. They often use examples where certain believers questioned them and had horrible deaths. Leaving this church equals backsliding.

    This list can go on and on. But having said that, they vigorously preach against sin and almost all of the sermons are pertaining to living a holy life. The gift of the holy spirit like prophecy and tongues are abundant in the church. I have nothing against the way the believers or the pastors are in person. They seem like genuine people. They literally sacrifice their sleep and pray night and day for all the believers in the church. They genuinely care about the believers. They come running to our homes and pray for us even if we are in the least amount of distress.

    Here is where I stand. I'm caught in two minds. I have tried going to this church the past year owing to pressure from my parents (to them leaving this church would be like leaving Christianity itself and they would be terribly hurt if I do). But to stay in this church would mean to look down on every other Christian on this earth like they are a lesser christian than I am. I have no peace when I go to Church. Instead of listening to the sermon I'm constantly on the edge trying to check if they're teaching false doctrines. Just the other day one of the pastors said 2 people never sinned their entire life.. Jesus and Daniel (I was fuming).

    Would I be making a mistake in leaving this church?
  2. What did God tell you when you prayed to him about this?
  3. I've been praying but haven't got an answer yet. I tried attending an AG church nearby and it was a breath of fresh air and I was at peace, but the look on my parents' faces because I was considering leaving their church made me go back.
  4. I think God gave you the answer.
    God is Love, TH420X, Ranjith Joy and 4 others say Amen and like this.
  5. I would go with the breath of fresh air. The church you described sounds like a cult.
    TH420X and Ravindran say Amen and like this.
  6. I agree with the responses. Maybe your move will stir other people to leave as well. Have you brought up your concerns?
    TezriLi likes this.
  7. Red flags always go up for me if I notice someone adding or taking away from scripture.
    TH420X, TezriLi, Abdicate and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  8. You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3-4‬ NLT)

    I think you have your answer as well. What you describe is false doctrine and should be avoided. You might consider sending a pm to Tezrili, she has had similar experiences.
    TezriLi and Where is the Messiah say Amen and like this.
  9. Will echo on everyone's comments! I think Lord already answered your prayers..

    This church sounds more like a cult than anything else..
    God is Love, TH420X, TezriLi and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  10. I appreciate that you love your folks and don't want to hurt them. The same God who has built this increasing unease about your current church is the God who gave you this love for your parents. Pray for how best to follow Him towards peace and retain a close relationship with your folks. How you go about parting will have a big impact on how free they(and others) will feel to follow.

    We'll be praying as well.
    TezriLi and Where is the Messiah say Amen and like this.
  11. #11 TezriLi, Aug 19, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2014
    My notes added here in dark turquoise. It's just that much of what you wrote, not all, was taught at the church that kicked me out in 1998 for refusing to continue to remove my wedding ring. :) G-d bless you, I have a pretty good idea what you are going through, except I reared my CHILDREN in that church! Horrible mistake tantamount to purposeful child abuse for us. To me, anyway.

    wow. Not even my old church taught this!

    This, also, was worse than my church, but we were taught not to take meds or go to doctors.

    Amazing. Also worse than my old church.

    My old church taught these ideas also.

    My old church verbally taught this. I heard it often from the pulpit and the SS teachers throughout my life.

    My old church didn't teach the part about medicine, but if they'd thought of it, they would have! :D

    We were strongly taught this. There were people there who would claim they had not sinned in a year, 20 years, 50 years. I would have to start over several times a year.

    We were also taught this.

    We were taught all of this. We were taught that if we left the church, we would end up broke, divorced, sick, ddead, and in hell; furthermore, we would take our children to hell with us.

    I was totally convinced, until I was in my later 30s, that the leaders were genuine. However, from then on, I could see through them, things happened right in front of my face that told me they were worse than disingenuous, and some of the leaders abused me.

    I stayed until I was over 50. I would define that as insanity.

    Daniel???!! Oh, brother.

    I was too weak to leave. Raised in that church, I swallowed all that....stuff. I could not leave until they booted me in late 1998! Then I ran like crazy.
    Left my wedding band on.
    Threw away all skirts and dresses and bought pants.
    ...and more.
    They only booted me after Father (a minister) was gone, and I kept it from Mother.
    But it was very hard on my first husband's parents, the people I called my "real" parents. So hard. But I had been excommunicated, so I had an excuse not to return. They didn't accept it, but I stood firm. My first husband's father is gone now, and his mother has Alzheimer's. But my present husband's father still lives, and our leaving hurts him deeply. He believes we are both going to hell for leaving.

    Ranjith Joy, no one other than G-d can really tell you what to do. I believe like others here, however, that He already has told you. Will you be strong enough to leave? Will you stay and rear your children there?
  12. Thanks Dave. It was actually the first time in months that I felt at peace worshipping God. I'm planning to go there this Sunday.
    TH420X likes this.
  13. ASUK, actually that was what got me thinking couple of years back. I was reading an article about signs of a cult and felt I was in one.

    Trodaí Urnaí, I have brought these up to my parents but they feel I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I haven't raised these issues in my church coz I know I'll be labeled a backslider and nothing else will come off of it.

    Where is the messiah, yes but it has taken a long time noticing those red flags for me since I wasn't open to the possibility that they could be wrong.

    gonefishing, thank you for the encouraging scripture. I'm trying my best by his grace to get out of it.

    Ravindran, thank you for your encouraging words. They are cultish. One of the things that drives me to get out is the fact that I would not need to look down on other Christians and I'll be able to consider them my brothers and sisters.

    DavidG, I'm trying to do with with the least amount of pain to everyone involved. I'll need His wisdom to do it. Thank you for your prayers.
    TezriLi likes this.
  14. Tezrili, your post has been a real encouragement to me. So thank you. I'm planning on attending the church that i visited some time back this Sunday. If all goes well I'll continue to attend. I'm definitely not staying in my old church. Just trying to not hurt anyone in the process and make my parents understand. I used to feel like I've no freedom in that church..even breathing felt like a sin. The legalism had reached reached such depths that I could no longer believe God can love me because I didn't measure up to the church's standards. I'm still struggling with it to be honest. I hope God will change all that as I continue to attend the other church.
    TH420X and TezriLi say Amen and like this.
  15. Ranjith, it looks like you've already made the correct decision but, for the record, I was going to say something similar to this, as well. Your original post is confirmation of such. Good job and enjoy your new life. [emoji106] [emoji4]
    God is Love, TezriLi, Ravindran and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  16. TH420X, Thank you. I went to my new church yesterday. Loved the worship time and the sermon was great. :)
    TH420X and DavidG say Amen and like this.
  17. What type of church are you going to now?
  18. God is Love, its an AG church.
  19. I don't know much about Assemblies of God so I won't comment on it, just remember to be testing what you hear from what you are reading in scripture and be smart. :)
    Ranjith Joy and TezriLi say Amen and like this.
  20. Yes, like the Bereans in Acts 17:11. :)
    DavidG, God is Love and TezriLi says Amen and like this.

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