I'll try to make this short. I just found out yesterday my wife of 17 years cheated on me 8 years ago. I was deployed in the military over the summer of 2006 and we weren't getting along and divorce came up in heated conversations from half way around the globe and long story short, she found comfort elsewhere. She says it was only once. I came home from that deployment and saw some text messages that were obvious clues to what happened, but she owned up to it as just inappropriate talk between coworkers. I blew up over it, grabbed her, she dialed 911 and I was arrested. I lived in hotels for the next two months as we sought counseling, I was back in the house by Christmas and we were moving along nicely, though I never got past the suspicion that something more than texting went on. We bought a house spring of 07. Things haven't been perfect in the 8 years since. We've had our ups and downs and conflict resolution is a problem of ours. I would bring up the text messages every few months as an example of something that was never resolved, and for whatever reason, yesterday was the day she finally said she cheated on me. We both grew up in christian homes, but never found our own church home until two years ago. At the time of her infidelity church was not at the center of our lives. We found a good church home two years ago and have a strong support system. My hang up, is that if I had known she cheated in 2006, I wouldn't have been so eager to work things out. I most likely would've left as that's something that I can't live with. Now I've got 8 more years invested, our girls are 16 and 11, and we're 300k in debt in a house I wouldn't have bought if I knew then what I know now. I'm in serious need of some solid advice. I feel like the last 8 years are built on a lie.