Why did God make me who I am today? I have lived such a tough life. And I feel like it hasn't changed...much anyway. I came from an abusive family where my dad beat my brothers and I, while my mom only sat and watched every time. :'( I would never want to go back to that life. But today, I feel like I am still getting beaten, but only it is mentally, not physically. No, It's not from my husband or my kids but from the people around me. I don't get what I do wrong to get treated like I am being treated? For example, I thought my mom and I had a great 3 year relationship going until I found out that she passed a horrible rumor around about me, my husband, and kids. :'( Why is God allowing all this suffering in my life to continue??? YES, There has been good in my life since moving out of my parents....my 3 beautiful kids, my husband, we have a house, ect. But I still am so stressed out and depressed that I cry more tears now than I have in my past life. I always feel like people hate me, I feel like no mater who I talk to, will hurt me or not accept me. I always worry about what others think of me making me feel dumb or stupid and never feeling like I can do ANYTHING right. I want a new life (or a new me) because I hate this one. I only want to be happy. Is that so hard for God to give me??? My past seems to be my present and future right now. I have prayed and asked God to take the pain away and to make me more like him...many times over. But nothing has seemed to have changed!! So what am I suppose to be doing, if I am suppose to be doing anything for God to change me? Does anyone have anything to say or scripture that would change my mind about the way God made me? Sorry for the long vent. It's not just a vent to you all but also a vent to God. Thanks if you have read this far.