today i was chatting with my friend telling her about a coworker and sort of just venting. normally it's nice to just vent, and there wasn't really anything to "solve." but now i just regret saying anything. Because this friend is a know-it-all, controlling person, who decided she would tell me what I "need to do" at work and whatnot. She was actually talking about something a bit unrelated to what i was talking about. I found it a little insulting too, she was saying i'm bad at communicating and all this other stuff. Maybe it's true, but i guess i was not expecting that considering that's not what i was talking about. i also felt powerless almost. like, this person is trying to tell me how to do my job, and i was almost getting defensive. Trying to defend myself to this person criticizing me. I know you're thinking, don't be friends with this person. but ordinarily she's not so abrasive. But after i hung up the phone i regretted that i even returned her call. I didn't want a heated argument about my work performance with somebody who not only does not do the same work as I do, I'm not even sure if she'd be a good role model in terms of work. She seems to be confrontational and gets into petty disagreements with people. anyways, what do you do when you get into this situation where somebody decides to just start lecturing you and almost raising their voice at you about what you need to do and this and that? I just didn't know where to go with this question. This phone call upset me very much and i need some gentle advice. I just HATED how i was starting to get defensive and whatnot. Am I wrong? maybe i'm just being too sensitive today. it makes me feel better (in a weird way) to think that maybe she was in a lousy mood and i was an easy target for her to let loose her rage on today. but that makes me ask - what made her think it would be appropriate to treat me that way? surely i'm not the only one who has experienced this... and i just don't know what to do. I'm thinking I might not talk to her for a while, but is avoidance the answer? How does a Christian react when they are blindsided with a verbal assault where the person is raising his or her voice at you? or taking liberties at giving unsolicited advice? or making you feel like you have to defend your actions?