My question is if it is a sin I need to confess to my husband that I have periodically snooped into his stuff in order to ensure the truth is being told based on past betrayal and lies. Here's the situation: Two years agao, I was quite deliberately betrayed by my husband with another woman. This had gone on for over a year and even when asked repeatedly and specifically, I was lied too. I finally found out only because I just sensed something very wrong. In order to originally find out, I had to search in trunk of car that is always locked and found evidence of another address and showed up there and caught him "in the act". I won't go into the devastation I felt on that day. By God's grace and mercy, He worked me through this and since then we have worked with pastors to reconcile. However, in these two years, my husband refuses to be transparent about any banking accounts, cell phone, credit card. No statements are sent home and everything - his computers, cell are password protected that I do not have access. He still works with woman in question and with the economy being what it is, can be a "reasonable" answer. The reason he says he won't be transparent is that he is afraid I will question him to death on how he spends his money or simply doesn't want me to know what he has. I do believe there is nothing currently going on but the lack of transparency and secrecy hurts me and the fact that he won't trust me, like I caused this situation is heart breaking. I have tried to my wits end to be a good wife. I know I can be more affirming but his behavior towards me does not make that easy to do all the time. In the last 5 months, we have been working with a christian peacemaker mediator on the transparency issue, communication skills and the fact that my husband has not been able to face my family since the original event. I have been so troubled why after 2 years since I found out, why we can't move forward with trust and transparency. I told him that the fact that he keeps his stuff secret does not allow me to build trust after an affair. I think any wife would feel that way right? So as a step forward, I asked him to be transparent with the neutral third party peacemaker representative. He agreed. My issue is that I had the very rare opportunity to have access to a hard drive where he stores stuff. I looked on it. I found banking statements that were obviously revised as to what was provided to the peacemaker rep with the end result is that my husband was not honest with him either. I do not want to commit assumide or judge him. My question again is - was it a sin for me to snoop on hard drive and I need to ask forgiveness? Or would this be something God is OK with - wise as serpents, innocent as doves. I have been praying for God to reveal to me anything that hinders us and I feel like this does. I do not want to be that kind of person to be checking on things, I hate to have to do it and want to trust him but the only way I seem to discover the "truth" is to search it out for myself. And I find a lie.... 1) Do I need to ask my husband forgiveness or may I simply confront him that I have evidence or is it OK to claim that I wont' reveal the source. I do not want t could the issue. My experience is that when I confess my sins as I want to do when God reveals the, he uses this as excuse or justification for his own if see He is a person who has difficulty in examining himself, owning his own sin, log out of own eye if I am offering the log from my eye. 2) If you were me, would you confront him with this evidence or let it ride? I don't believe he is having an affair but not sure what is being covered up. It could just be fear of me knowing too much, his own form of defense mechanism, protection because he is not trusting God will provide and care. I am trying to give benefit of doubt buit also do not want to be naive. I simply want an authentic, trustworthy foundation in Christ for us to move forward with and feel like he needs to know his sin is in the light and that God won't bless us spirtually with relationship and intimacy if there is any deceit that hinders us. I pray for the grace, mercy and glory of God to shine out of this situation. Please share your thoughts on my specific questions. Sorry for long explanation but wanted to give you all clarity for wisdom or discernement intot the situation you may have.