When is it Adultry????? I can't find a solid, concrete answer from anyone I talk to, or from anything I have read. So, I will confide in and trust my bros. and sis. for their input. Hopefully, even some pastors or deacons will weigh in. Here goes. My wife of 25 years recently had what I call an affair. She was working in an outreach ministry,and met a man 12 yrs. younger than she. She more or less took him on as a project, and told me the Lord had put a burden for his salvation on her heart. After about a month of them spending many hours a day together, at the outreach and away from it, she came to me and confessed she was having desires and temptations that she knew were wrong. I advised that she end the relationship and not see him again. She refused, saying she knew God had put them together for his salvation, and she could not ignore His calling for her. To cut to the chase, they continued their relationship for about 6 more months. They were seen holding hands, kissing, and in a hot tub together at a motel in a city 50 miles away. I confronted her, and demanded the truth. She said the hottub was a lie, and she denied all alegations. She refused to stop seeing him as his soul was at stake. Then I did a sneaky thing. I followed them to a nature trail along the river one day, (I worked full time, he had no job) and observed them kissing and holding hands as they walked. My heart was broken, and still is. This was my HS sweetheart. I confronted her at our home one day with our pastor with me, and brought the situation to a head. The relationship was ended. She swore to me that it had never gone past the kissing, and petting. Then about a year later, she said she had to confess to me that it had gone past what she had admitted. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but she confessed to having oral relations with this man. She says it wasn't her intention to do any of these things, that the enemy ensnared her, and she was caught up in the lust and feeling young and alive. She now refuses to accept any fault, that she has repented and God has forgiven her, and that because they never had copulation,only oral,that she has not commited adultry. She does not consider this to be sex. She swears she never even considered leaving me for him, or that she had any intensions of letting it go where it did. She was Trapped. Am I wrong in my feelings of betrayal and infidelity. To me, it only makes it hurt more for her to minimize her culpability, as it was not her intent to do any of it. Please, can anyone help shed some insight. I am tormented in my soul. I want to forgive her, but of "what". Is this adultry?