When? How Am I So Lost? What Do I Do? Advice Please.

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Victoriaw87, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. I was engaged until Nov 2011. The reason we broke up was because of me. I ha an emotional affair with someone else. Now I regret everything. I have never been so disappointed in a choiceI've made. He's moved on with another woman and only now I realize he means everything to me and this other person was just an infatuation. I have been praying to God for guidance, clarity, hope. I see none of it. I cannot forgive myself for letting something so amazing get away over something so petty. How will I ever find happiness again. I messed up so bad. I am so remorseful. All I want is to be with him again. And if that doesn't happen I feel I will always regret this and he will be the one that got away. Will this effect me forever? Please I need input, advice, opinions ...
  2. I am so sorry you are feeling such loss. The pain, I well know, is excruciating. I have felt the same loss as my high school sweetheart of 3 years decided he would move on (because of my actions) - long story, short here - and proposed to my room mate and best friend. When I got word that he proposed to her, I walked a mile to his house in the middle of the night, tapped on his window and woke him up. We talked for hours to no avail as his heart was no longer mine (again, because of my actions). I still remember very distinctly pleading with him in the middle of the night, begging, crying....please, don't marry her. I would do anything to get him back. Again, long story short, God healed his wounds (that I created) ...and my wounds too!! Ultimately, I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. God finally showed me that my desire to be with him wasn't what God wanted for him - or me. Trust me...this was very, very hard to take in. BUT, there is hope and you will find it in God alone. Perhaps He has someone else in mind for you?

    Did you repent and ask God for forgiveness for your actions? Did He forgive you? THEN forgive yourself. Who are you that you have decided your sin was too great for His Blood? I mean this with all kindness, because you should not let yourself get into this trap. He deserves the holy recognition for what He did on the cross. Take in His forgiveness and make a difference with it by going out and being the woman He created you to be.

    You can't move forward while always looking back, my friend. God wants you to move forward and find the love He has in store for you. Timing is everything and apparently the time was not right with this other person. This will only affect you as long as you let it. Make the choice to believe that God has something else in store for you. And if you truly believe this, how could you want what He did not give you? (I know this is waaay harder to grasp than type!!)

    Much love to you, sister in Christ, as you journey this path and seek His will for your life. Your Father longs to hold you in His arms. Run to Him alone. Immerse yourself in Him. Pay close attention to how His Spirit speaks to your spirit. He will not steer you wrong. I will pray for clarity for you, especially for clarity to hear the still small voice of His Spirit in the middle of this storm.
    Jake, calvin and Rumely says Amen and like this.
  3. Let God teach you and grow you through this experience. You will be stronger and wiser in your next relationship, which will be a blessing for both you and your eventual spouse. Trust God also for your future. For those with a repentant heart and a who put their trust in Him, He leads into good things. You are essentially trusting in a man, one particular man, for your well-being. Such a trust, no matter how good the man, will always be disappointed. God can make you a man out of dust, if need be, so He is quite capable of bringing the right man at the right time into your life.

    Place your hope in God. He holds your future in His hands. He will bring you through all the trials of life as well as the blessings.

    Here, I think, is clarity: you have made an idol of a man and a relationship with that man. You have placed all your hope for happiness in that man. If you two had gotten married at this point, it would have been built on a crumbling foundation, a house built on sand. This is not an accusation or a condemnation, merely an observation. God is the source of all that is good and right and blessed. He will work into your life all that is strong and pure and glorious.
    covered_by_grace likes this.

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