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What spices your marriage or relationship

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by allani, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. allani

    allani New Member

    It would be nice if people can share what spices up their marriage and relationship
    Secrets formulars which you are willing to share with others. We know God should be the center of every marriage or relationship but there are still baby steps each and everyone should take

    Waiting for your comments :))

    Shalom, Peace and live to us.Amen
  2. Elmer D

    Elmer D Active Member

    little efforts but alot goes along way

    we plan a date here and there

    sharing the good times and bad times

    :)
  3. Seeking

    Seeking Active Member

    There is no secret formula. The first thing that comes to mind is a married couple need to be each others best friend. The next is respecting each other for who they are. Going the extra mile for each other. Doing little extras for no reason, say when a husband who usually does not cook, just without saying a word, just gets up and makes supper and does the clean up.

    There are so many little things that can keep a marriage humming along it is hard to list them all. It really all revolves around caring, little shows of affection for no reason, try to get out for a nice quiet dinner together at least once a month, don't obsess about money (keep an eye on it, just don't obsess about it). Respect each others feelings. And, how could I forget this, TRUST. The worse thing you can do is keep your spouse guessing. Although it should be discouraged it dos happens, say you have to go to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. TELL YOUR SPOUSE BEFORE HAND AND SAY WHY. This is just mine you can use it if you want, keep a polite distance from members of the opposite sex. I am not saying that you should not talk to them, or even be friends, but do not put yourself in a position where rumor can start. By this I mean, being alone with someone not your spouse for extended periods of time, driving alone for whatever reason, you get the picture.

    These are all things that help you spouse be comfortable with you. The feelings of security, comfortable, trust is probably the best was to keep the fires burning. And never, ever let God out of your marriage. Both of you should pray together, reaffirm your vows daily in prayer.
    Stoney likes this.
  4. Banarenth

    Banarenth Sr Mod/Webmaster Staff Member

    Talk to your wife and play with your kids. Then play with your wife and talk to your kids. Make God the center of the relationship.
  5. Stoney

    Stoney Member

    I don't know if anyone read it or not, but I recently posted that my husband took me on an overnighter as a surprise date. It was not lavish, nor was it expensive, but it was very romantic. We were able to pack an overnight bag and take care of the essentials before leaving home, and we went to a little place we have dubbed "Hernando's Hideaway", a small place about 2 hours from home. It's a little mom-and-pop motel that is clean and comfy, with restaurants close by and a theater, along with some areas for shopping. It gives us time to talk, just the two of us, about things (good or bad) that have happened recently, or about things that are bothering us from months back that were never settled (after all, we are quite the captive audience in the car!!). We find it much easier to listen to each other while riding or having a meal than when we are home among the clamor of life here.

    Two weeks prior to this, he brought be roses. They were from WalMart's flower section and have lasted until now. He helps with the dishes and meals while I am studying and trying to finish my degree, we often hold hands when we walk or ride together, and if at all possible, we have a standing date on Thursdays. Sometimes it is an all-day date, sometimes just an hour or two, and occasionally we miss it completely (like through the holidays). He is disabled and some days he has no energy, so I'll bring him breakfast in bed so he doesn't have to get up as early, or do his errands for him, or just lie together in bed with his head on my shoulder (he falls asleep quickly like that!). We will go to Sonic and grab a lunch and take it to the park on the river and sit and eat our "picnic" meal, or watch thunderstorms passing by together. Talking is a biggie with us women, and he's figuring out how much it means.

    We'll be married 38 years this May, and these are a few of the tried-and-true methods we use! Feel free to use them yourselves!! ;-D
  6. alegator21

    alegator21 Member

    Making God the center of the relationship! And there is nothing better than having a serving heart!
    Stoney likes this.
  7. allani

    allani New Member

    wow 38 years that is lovely to know
  8. Stoney

    Stoney Member

    You have to learn to really like the person you are married to. Sometimes that isn't always easy to do. That means separating their actions from the person so that you can dislike the action, but still like the person. I can tell you that in that 38 years, there have been too many times I did not like the actions of my husband, and honestly, I didn't like him too much, either! And to further that thought, he didn't like me much either. So, just because you may or may not like your spouse today, doesn't mean it has to stay that way. When we get to the point of disliking our spouse, we have to work that much harder to repair that relationship; sometimes that takes a very long time and a lot of tears and frustration, but with the help from the Lord, it really can happen.
  9. Seeking

    Seeking Active Member

    I have been with my wife almost 30 years. 23 of them in marriage. People ask how we did it. The answer is pretty simple, you marriage partner MUST be your best friend. And when you took the oath to forsake all others, it did not just mean sexual partners. It means no one on earth comes before your spouse. Not your friends, not your boss, and in some cases not even your parents. Sicilian mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons. When my wife and I were first married mom would stick her nose where it did not belong. Telling my wife that she was not doing right by me, yada, yada. I literally had to roughly tell my mother I married Michele and not her; so she needs to back off. This mad my mother crazy mad, but it went a long way solidifying my marriage. My wife knew from that point on I was my own man, and there was no one in this world for me except her. Mom got over it.

    The point is marriage couples should put each other first in their lives. Christ should be the focal point for the relationship, but there should be nothing else before the marriage. Remember, God does not get in the way of a marriage, He blesses, supports it with His love and protects it if we allow Him in.

    If this is a little convoluted, apologies. I sneaking this in while at work.
  10. Where is the Messiah

    Where is the Messiah Well-Known Member

    Push-ups, sometimes one handed.
  11. Ravindran

    Ravindran Well-Known Member

    More time in family prayers, fasting together, Bible studies.. Occasional trips to places where this is no mobile signal.. Listening to your partner (not just hearing, but listening).. Some things I try to do
    Brian Kurkjian and Where is the Messiah say Amen and like this.
  12. Brian Kurkjian

    Brian Kurkjian Well-Known Member Supporter

    Traveling. There is something odd about new scenery that makes me fall in love with my wife all over again.
    Ravindran likes this.
  13. Where is the Messiah

    Where is the Messiah Well-Known Member

    This sounds like a great way to spice the marriage! If God is willing, one day I will have this privilege.
    Brian Kurkjian likes this.

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