What life would be like if your household appliances spoke

Discussion in 'Humor' started by NearertoGod, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. What life would be like if your household appliances spoke

    Ever wondered what life would be like
    if your household appliances could talk? And saw and thought just like you?
    Well, here's an in-depth look.

    "Every day, I have to cook pathetic TV dinners and greasy leftover food from that restaurant on the corner. They have Chinese, Teriyaki, and Burgers. What a combo! P.S. - Please, no more chicken noodles..."

    "Tell me your on a low-carb diet AFTER you get rid of that two layer cake from the supermarket. Oh yeah, what about that big, juicy, heart-attack-on-a-oversized-bun burger? Now, do you call THAT low carb?"

    Washing Machine:
    "Please remember, I can't take loads bigger than ten clothes. Tell your husband that the whole 'wash twenty towels in one load' thing never works. Oh yeah, lay off the detergent, will ya?"

    "It's kind of annoying when you make me pump hot air during the summer. You know I have the low heat? Even though it takes a little longer..."

    "I don't know how much longer I will be able to cook another PIZZA or see another PIZZA. Please please please GIVE ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT, PEOPLE."

    Air Conditioner/Heater:
    "Remember, turn me on when your REALLY need me. Okay? Stop turning on the A/C when it's 72 outside. Isn't that cool enough? What are you guys, heat intolerant? And is it so cold in the winter time that you have to put the thermostat up to 82? Wow..."

    "You visit really weird and annoying websites. And how many times will I have to have my system cleaned out because of Trojans. Duh, get a blocker or SOMETHING! I'm getting really old, y'know? I'm starting to see the golden years..."

    "Please pass this on to your husband: why in the world must you turn my volume up to its loudest...just to watch a sports game?"

    Vacuum Cleaner:
    "I liked your kids...until they thought it was funny to try and pick up a pencil, a whole taco, and the family cat. Geez, I can't clean up everything."

    So now do you feel relieved
    your stuff can't talk back?
    I sure do!

    Made by NTG

  2. ty i needed a laugh right now
  3. I like this one


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