I know its about intimacy with your husband or wife and having kids. But really...how can it possibly be good? Everything I know it to be from my past sexual, emotional and physical abuse both as a child and as an adult (married to an abuser for 4 1/2 years) has been nothing but cruel, against my will, evil or painful. Nothing of it has been good. And everything I've read in the bible always talks about how lust is sinful and how not to do sex before marriage. Not once have I read anything saying sex is good and healthy etc. At this point my view is this: Sex is evil and sinful. Sexual feelings are evil and sinful. I'd rather never ever feel it but I do feel it so I feel ashamed and evil and worthless. This is how I feel and what lead to dangerous encounters with a man in 2011. I am no longer with him. Its been about a year and a half since that man but I still feel bad for even having sexual feelings of any kind. I sometimes think it would be easier to never be in a relationship or let it get to the point I feel sexual in any way because its sinful right? I KNOW this is distorted thinking and what those people did to me is not my fault. I didn't ask to be raped or abused. And I am trying to ask for help but each time I pray God doesn't seem to change my views on sex and feeling sexual. All I hear when I read the bible verses is its bad, evil, wrong and I should be ashamed for it. I just want to know your thoughts...I'm really struggling and even feeling like I want to turn my back on God in some ways because if He cared when I ask for help he would help! Like reveal what sex could be etc. I tried talking to my current boyfriend but even he didn't offer me any answers he just said seek God...but why should I seek God when I have been and he's not doing anything?? I've heard people say sex is suppose to be a blessing from God and that sexual feelings are not a sin and not evil. Its not a sin to struggle. Its a sin not to turn to God for help with that struggle but it is a sin to give to your desires. I've heard that having sex in your marriage is good and God ordained but I don't see how it is. I feel like the very act of sex or sexual feelings is just evil pure and simple. The bible doesn't say anywhere that I know that sex is good or sexual feelings. Everywhere I hear condemnation. Perhaps I am getting it wrong or my perceptions have warped my view of the bible or that I am seeing everything through my wounds from the past. I really need guidance. Because part of this feels like I just want to give up my faith now. Because what's the point if sex truly is evil no matter what and I can't get rid of sexual feelings or the desire for sex then I might as well say I'm evil and condemned and just give up belief in a God who would condemn me for something that is suppose to be ordained by him. Please I just need guidance and prayer.