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What Can We Do?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Spage, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. I am an 18 year old guy and she is 17. We are both very strong in our faith and love and respect God. If you knew us, you would know that there is not a chance in the world we would ever have sex before marriage; she actually is currently somewhat disgusted by the idea of sex. Since you don’t know us, for the sake of this post you’ll just have to assume that it is true. We are not going to have sex before we get married. And we are both pretty sure we are going to be married, as long as God wills it, because our personalities have no conflictions, we are both very happy people, and any arguments we do have, which is rare, we resolve literally the same day.

    The problem though is that recently we’ve been getting kind of “touchy”; that is, I put my hands where I shouldn’t, and she likes it and lets me do it. We are both always fully clothed, but I still put my hands all over her body, over top of her clothes (though sometimes I put my hand under her shirt and there’s less clothing in the way). We both really want to stop because we know it’s sinning against God, and we always feel guilty afterwards, but when we’re together I have an extremely hard time not touching her, because I want to and because I know that she wants me to as well and won’t stop me. We don’t know what to do because it continues to happen despite the guilt we feel afterward and how much we want to stop. What should we do?

    A better question would actually be what should I do, as she doesn’t really ask me touch her. I just kind of do it knowing how much she likes it. But how can my needs be met?

    I feel it’s also worth noting that this isn’t tearing us apart or anything. We both acknowledge it’s both of our faults (though I feel it’s mostly mine, but she tries to convince me otherwise). We are just sad because we want to honor God but when we’re in the moment, we have such a hard time of doing so.
  2. PM me and we'll discuss it okay?
  3. I believe all physical contact should start when you are married. Touching and kissing when you aren't even married is dangerous in my opinion. If you really love her, marry her. Then the physical comes. That's all I have to say.
    Euphemia likes this.
  4. As christians you both should know that your salvation is more important than fleshly and temporary desires and should not be taken for granted. It's important to protect yourselves from giving in. You can date each other making sure you are in public places. Wearing discreet and appropriate clothing may help to resist temptation and avoid going to each other's houses when no one else is there. Avoid kissing and hugging because temptation will be strong. Remember that dating should be about talking and getting to know each other to decide if that person is the one you want to marry.
    Yann-Hermann likes this.
  5. Get married...

    Or don't be alone with each other.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  6. You should not kiss her, touch her, or even be alone in a room with her until you are married.
    Heart_for_Christ likes this.
  7. These are not "needs"...they are wants. Know that Jesus is standing right there holding her. Picture Him there and then think about what He thinks of your trying to touch His daughter. You'll stop and be forced to honour her the way He wants you to. You'll both be blessed for it.

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