Well, it sure IS gonna be 1 BIG puzzle piece coming my wayy For the past week and a half I've been feeling, quite, not myself so much. It's really hard to explain really. But, then again it's not so hard..2 explain; There's a part of me missing, and I dont know what it is, cant put my finger on it, I can only feel it. I'm not really sure where to start. I'm in my second year of college. My pastor said she's helping me with the next step with the college stuff. (she still has my college stuff from in the mail) It's been a couple months, but she gave me God's word by saying that there's this big puzzle piece that's missing and its just gonna come right down when the time comes. And I believe it, b/c there's something missing from my life and i cant describe it. Is it more adventure? Is it more laughter and smiling? B/c that's exactly what Im trying to figure out whats wrong with me? I mean, I feel happy like where im at right now, but my facial expression isnt showing it. and im not laughing or smiling at something unless it's really extremely funny. My heart longs for relationships and to be cared for and wanted and needed. (I like to have privacy from my own family most of the time, but i like to vent out to other friends.) Friends in which i feel i dont really have any anymore. I do have some girl friends but none of us are close anymore, especially since we live so far apart. I guess I'm really asking for some prayer. But I'm not sure for what exactly, i guess maybe to find myself again. whether its friends, my career choice, the battling of the devil... My pastor's husband preached on like a ball of yarn. And we're trying to untangle this ball of yarn but we just cant seem to for the life of us. I feel I have a BIG yarn to undo, but i dont know what it is, what it's for, or why, or how, or anything. Maybe a change in scenery? who knows?? I'm just needing some prayer for God to open up the eyes and ears of my heart to help me realize what it is I'm after in life. I slightly feel unneeded/unwanted in church, unnoticed. Not totally, just from a different angle, its VERY hard to explain. I'm def. unnoticed with my friends at least. And what I mean by friends is we know each other but we dont hang out cuz their either too young or too old or live too far away and they have their own lives and circle of friends and dont realize wats going on with me, cuz i havent told them, and cuz we dont know each other that really well, we wouldnt understand each other either. Pray for: my career choice/ college. good influence of circle of friends thats grounded in christ jesus, (that MY age!!) and ppl who we can be emotional with and hang out and all other stuff. my family, my work... I mean, im at home, but i feel home-sick. why?!?!?!?!??!?!????? I wanna cry again... and it wont come out..