Weird Co-worker / General People Frustrations

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jmilly, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. I wasn't sure where to post this.

    I have a coworker, and I work in a small office, so there's no avoiding him, who I just don't like that much. I find him untrustworthy, and he is also a know-it-all. You name a subject, and he's a pro in that area. For instance, he claims to be into body building, but if you take one look at him, he's clearly not a body builder. Now that's not a problem, I'm just saying he's the one who goes on and on about it, acting like he is one of those musclebound guys in the gym. But this guy is overweight and has no muscles. He just has a big belly.

    I know this sounds very unChristian of me, but that's why I am asking this question. How do I deal with him? Surely christian people meet people they just do not like, correct?

    In addition to this, he cannot accept constructive feed back and he acts like he is incredibly skilled in our line of work even though he has only a couple more months of experience than me. He is not humble whatsoever. He asked me to review some of his work and disregards my suggestions. Or he explains away why he doesn't need to make any changes.

    In addition to this, it has become clear to me and everybody else in the office I am pretty sure, that his mysterious "girlfriend" doesn't even exist. He keeps mentioning is girlfriend here and there, and we recently found out (i'll spare the details) there is no girlfriend. He was just making it up. I already felt uncomfortable about him, but now I find him completely untrustworthy. I am single too, but I don't go around making up phony boyfriends (unless I am being hit on, then I'll tell the person I have a boyfriend to turn them down), but to perpetuate this story over the course of a year, fooling your coworkers, it just to me makes me uncomfortable working with him and trusting him.

    Maybe i'm taking this out of proportion.

    Additionally, when I talk to my non-work friends about my job I unfortunately start talking about this guy and it just feels WRONG. I know we shouldn't say bad things about people. I guess this is a habit I am still working on. I guess I'm wondering generally how do we vent or talk about people that are frustrating us in our lives and still "love" them in a Christian way? Are we supposed to just overlook big red flags about people and act like they don't exist? Like in my other post about my non-Christian friend, how do I treat this person and protect myself from being influenced by them? (another non-Christian friend of mine was pressing me to reveal a secret a good friend of mine told me, and I kept telling him no, it's not my secret to tell, and my friend trusted me, it's a private matter. He just kept trying to convince me to break my friend's trust. it really disgusted me, because this non-Christian friend actually thought i'd date him, yet he thinks its ok to break somebody's trust like that. Sorry that was a tangent!)
  2. Sounds like you know its wrong to talk bad about this guy, so just do your best not too. Try to see him with the Lords compassion and as long as he is not doing any real harm to you, you should be able to get past your negative thoughts. Im sure everyone else sees what he is and are not being deceived. I try to never say anything about anyone that I would not say to their face, and its ok to express your frustrations with someone as long as you do it in a godly manner. It could also be that since this guy is at a similar position at work as you, that some of this tension could relate to the competitive thing that goes on at our work at times? Be confident in the Lords blessing and remember He will cause you to succeed and be blessed above those around you.
    ramblingvagabond likes this.
  3. HAHA reminds me of Michael in the show office. I bet its never boring working with someone like that.
  4. really this guy reminds me of a certain person on this forum...:oops:
  5. As for the gossiping, pray to God to soften your heart towards the guy. "But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them."
  6. There is also a guy here that reminds me of Dwight :whistle:
  7. Ok I will pray about this. thanks

    part of it might be competitiveness. It seems like he generally likes to pat himself on the back for everything. It sucks because it's a small office and I cannot escape.
  8. Kinda feel that might be a part of it..glad you can see that...:D
  9. yea...? well you should not pick on Brian and talk about him behind his back :mad:
  10. I think it's okay to "vent," but you have to be careful. I tell my wife practically everything. I would select someone you're closest too and only talk about things that happened with that guy to that one person. That way you're getting it all out but you aren't spreading anything. I'd say we all get frustrated with certain types of people. I used to know a guy exactly like the one you're describing and they are infuriating to me. You gotta let it out somehow.
  11. Yes my beloved I see what you are saying.. When you say, "You gotta let it out somehow," the question is what are you letting out? We can't just talk bad about people, and say, "hey I'm just venting," even if we only say it to our wives, even if we are only saying it in the mirror. Because what we say, is what's in our hearts.

    That's why the scripture says be slow to speak. The scripture says in reference to the tongue, consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. It calls the tongue a fire. It says the tongue corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. So is it okay to "vent"? I don't know, maybe, but seems like a dangerous game to play.
    ramblingvagabond likes this.
  12. It's okay to say someone is upsetting you and list the reasons. That isn't hateful. I agree that we should avoid any hateful speak.
    jmilly and Where is the Messiah say Amen and like this.
  13. Now I'm going to be looking for the Michael and Dwight of this forum.
  14. I feel your pain jmilly. It is something we all deal with, and it isn't easy. I'm still trying to figure it out, honestly.

    I can say that just ignoring it or holding it in does not work. I've tried that before, and you'll go crazy.

    What helps me is to pray for compassion and to think about why people act the way they do.

    This guy sounds like he is looking for acceptance and validation, and he's not very happy with who he is. Some people that face this become very shy and avoid any attention at all. Others, like this guy, go overboard trying to compensate for things.

    I'm sure Jesus is proud that you are seeking advice on how to deal with this. I wish I had done the same a long time ago--it would have saved me a lot of frustration and awkward moments.
  15. I guess it must be difficult to be around him, but I think he is clearly someone in desperate need of love and with a very low self esteem. All that bragging is nothing but a screen to hide the fact that he thinks he is the most despicable worm in the world (which he isn't). Imagine how sad and lonely this guy must feel whenever he reflects upon the fact that he has tried to convince everyone that his imaginary girlfriend truly exists. I think this guy deserves pity above all and that he needs Jesus in order to feel loved and to know that he deserves to be loved.
    Sal likes this.
  16. I have a niece and nephew that are like this. It is frustrating cause u want to be peaceful. But just think they obviously are not fooling you. But think about why would someone act like this. From my experience it seems like they are lonely, depressed, not happy with there own life, so they feel the need to make stuff up. My nephew who has been making bad decisions likes to think he is just like my husband and I. So I say if he is looking for a role model then give him the best kind. Be a good christian. Share the love of Jesus with him. You never know you may be the only person that share it with him. Shrug off his annoyingly dumb comments and just show him love. If being the best at work is his goal, and he asks for your help but dosnt take your advice then challenge him ask why he wants it proofread, if he just wants someone to gush over how awesome it is then decline stateing you have tryed in the past but he wasnt reseptive towards your suggestions. He will either ask you to look at it again or just realize he isnt getting what he wants from you and move on. Remember everyone wants to fit it, maybe he just dosnt know how. Have you heard the saying "kill em with kindness" be polite do the best at work. Its ok to vent but remember if he isnt a friend at work or at home then your only with him for a short time of the day. Maybe God put him there for you to learn something. I dont know. In my case im put in my nephews lives to give friendly advice that they can take or leave and watch out for there babys.

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