Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by AprilS, May 15, 2017.

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  1. Just thought I might post an update on my situation with Daniel for those of you who have read my original post and offered encouragement and prayer...

    Things seem to have taken the worst possible turns since that original post.

    I have tried my hardest to hang on and pray it out but things have just been so miserable for me. He is cold hearted and downright mean to me anymore. I swear I don't know who he is- this is so unlike him...I've known him for half my life and I have never known him to be this way- especially to me...
    He wants me to just hang around and be there when HE feels like seeing me or talking to me...I barely ever hear from him. And when I reach out I'm met with harsh words and rejection...but yet when I bring it up I am "pressuring him" to do too much. When all I am asking for him to do is talk to me every once in a while...
    He says that there is no way to work it out if we "stay away" from each other but at the same time when I try and be his friend he makes no effort and half the time he acts like he doesn't even like me...

    It has honestly been nothing but pain and downright suffering for me since all of this began...and I don't believe it's Gods will that I stand around and be treated like dirt.

    I don't know what has happened- I truly don't. And it has been devastating and heartbreaking for me. I know I heard The Lord in the beginning- before all of this happened- when He told me that Daniel was to be my husband...but now I feel like all of this suffering and tears shed have been for nothing because as it stands right now I cannot see a future for this relationship.

    Daniel says what he is giving me now (which is next to nothing at all) is all he has to give "at the moment" - which to me sounds like an excuse to keep me waiting around until he has more to give to the relationship. He has told me that he is not concerned with us right now, that he isn't even thinking of it or considering our relationship in any part of his life. He has gone back now and says that he has NEVER heard from God about me and that he is just trusting that I got a word from The Lord- I did, and he told me he did too a very long time ago, probably close to 4 years ago now- but now he claims he never heard from The Lord. I don't know, I just feel like he is just stringing me along and that he doesn't know what he wants...I don't know that he loves me at all anymore, I can't remember the last time he said or did something sweet for me or even nice. I don't remember the last time I even felt he was interested in me...it's been months.

    I guess I'm just coming to grips with relality...that I could have been wrong about what I thought I heard....but also I know that a person can goof off and miss their blessing. Which is what I think has happened with Daniel. The Lord tried to bless him with a wife who would have loved him and he was too busy worrying about all of the things he would have to give up when he got married. Too afraid to truly grow up.

    I am grieving the loss of a future I was so set on having and a promise from The Lord that hasn't come to pass...I don't want to say it never would or it will not because I know He is the God of miracles. But it would take just that to turn this situation around...

    Thank you all for your time if you read this far. I so appreciate every single one of you who offered words of prayer and encouragement or even some tough love. This is truly an awesome community of believers and I am blessed to have found you all.

  2. Hi AprilS,

    I know that this has all been difficult, but has God told you to stop standing in faith? It sounds like you are looking at your circumstances, what you can see in the natural and you are giving up hope.

    I know that it's difficult to stand in faith when what we see is opposite of what we felt God speak to our hearts (inner man), but that is when we need to know that we know that what we heard inside of us was the absolute truth... Just like Abraham, when waiting for the child that God had promised (Isaac).

    Let's look at what Abraham and Sarah had to see everyday (at least 75 years). Sarah was barren. Not even when she was young could she have a child. And they both had been together for at least 50 years, and no child. The other obstacle that they has to deal with was that their bodies (90 and 100 years old) were well past the age of being able to bare and produce a child.

    But the Bible says that they believed in God's Word against all hope, and stood strong in faith trusting God. They ignored all the physical outward signs that should have told them that what they hoped for is impossible. And yet they stood, unmovable in faith for God to fulfil His promise.

    Do you know that faith does not cry? Faith does not speak any words other than the ones that God spoke to our hearts. Faith rejoices constantly, and patiently waits for Gods promises to be fulfilled.

    I know that we all need to have our emotional needs met, and in all cases we should be relying in God to meet those needs. This is what walking in The love of God is all about. Giving and never concerned with receiving from anyone but God. Yes it's a different way to walk, but it can be done.

    You have to decide, how much you trust God. How far are you willing to go, and invest in what you felt He spoke to your heart?

    The enemy is out to destroy your faith in Gods promises. And if we give up in the middle, when it looks the worst, then we will never see the glory of God manifest in our lives and situations.

    God bless you and give you joy and peace to stand strong in His Word, regardless of what you see in the natural. We surely will be praying and interceding for you both.
    Fish Catcher Jim, CoffeeDrinker and AprilS says Amen and like this.
  3. Still praying for you AprilS. God loves you.
    Fish Catcher Jim, AprilS and Cturtle says Amen and like this.

  4. i understand 100% what you are saying, but what about people who are in abusive situations. Do they stay in marriages that are bad and abusive?
    AprilS likes this.
  5. If the relationship is physically abusive, I believe that the person should seek safe shelter. They need a place of peace where they can commit some solid time to prayer.
    Then God can instruct them as to what He desires.

    Really honestly there is not just one solid answer to this question. The word abuse can be defined differently in each mind. And so many types of scenarios.
    CoffeeDrinker and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  6. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical, if not worse. No one sees the emotional scars that left behind when a person is verbally / emotionally abused. I am not referring to simple spats / arguments. I am referring to real emotional manipulation and actual emotional abuse.
  7. #7 AprilS, May 18, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2017
    Thank you for your replies, I really appreciate them.
    I am just now getting a minute to respond...

    Cturtle- Thank you for the encouragement. Since this post I have decided to put some real distance between Daniel and myself.
    This way he cannot hurt me and I am able to spend some real time in prayer about the situation. I honestly believe The Lord was speaking to me through you. I attended church last night and our pastor has been going through the book of Acts and last night he was speaking on Paul the prisoner. I felt what he was saying speaking to me- that Paul believed that The Lord would get him where he needed to be even when things looked so very bleak and Paul waited patiently on The Lord to bring his promise to pass.
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