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Understanding My Gf

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Brownman248, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. So I recently got into a relationship. While we were expressing our feelings for each other she mentioned that she had a lot of insecurities. She didn't go into details just changed the subject. I'm guessing it's because she has a sexual past, where as I don't, never been with another girl. She has said before she's not good enough for me or you deserve better. It was hard at first to accept her past and move on. But she's an amazing girl and I told her I'm willing to forget her past n be with her. She had said that God already healed her from her past n it no longer is bondage to her past. So it makes me wonder if it's something else. Is there any books/articles/blogs that i can read so I can get an understanding on how she feels and help her get through it
     
  2. Hi! Just ask her! Sit down with her somewhere cosy and talk about it sincerely. It is the very best you can do, i say it as a woman. And she's going to appreciate it:)
     
  3. Pray for the right words to ask and learn to listen, that's what a lot of women want, someone to listen and understand. Then you give them any support they need. Remind her that as a child of God, her sins are gone, wiped clean through the blood of Jesus.
     
    gbeecher and Kittif say Amen and like this.
  4. Just be patient with her. Pray for her.
     
  5. First let me say it may not be that she has a sexual past. Don't assume. It may be, but don't put words in her mouth.

    Second, I am now just friends with a guy who thinks he is not good enough for me. He really wants to be in a relationship, but feels inferior to me. He thinks I am more "churchy" than he is, he has some OCD, and a few other things. He is my age and has had a couple of difficult breakups and is a bit wounded from them. It is really difficult. I am personalizing it when he has the issue(s). Unless your friend can get over her issue(s), she may be hard to reach - meaning she may not be emotionally ready to be in a healthy relationship. She may reach out to you, then pull away when she gets to close (and I am not just talking about physically - holding hands and such). :confused:
     
    TezriLi likes this.
  6. Don't try to fix her.... That's our first instinct.... Jump right in... Fix fix fix....

    She is not asking for someone to take the reigns and drive her to Security.....

    Don't worry about it... It's not yours to deal with anyway.... At this point - it's between Her and God.... and God is sufficient.

    Thanks
     
    TezriLi likes this.
  7. Everything is a process. If and when she does open up to you, those wounds are going to be reopened and it will take time to heal. Just be patient with her and she will gradually open up and share her insecurities. It takes time to get to know someone and to learn to live with them. That's why marriage fails for so many people, they're too short sighted. Everything is a process, both growing and healing.
     

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