Uncomfortable situation

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Isabel Ordonez, May 23, 2015.

  1. I am divorced late twenties with two small children. I love my Church and volunteering as well. I have a problem a leader in the church , married w/ children in his early forties; is constantly staring at me even in front of his wife and kids. This of course makes me uncomfortable, it's not just glancing its staring/glaring when I look his way he looks away quickly or stares at my face blankly his wife also seems bothered by it once during the annoucements at church I could feel him staring at me while he was sitting w/ his wife she just burst out crying and he seemed to stop the rest of the church service. it not just staring he's always around if I'm teaching he's there if I'm parked in a certain area of the parking lot he's there. I think this has caused some of the women at church to give me the cold shoulder.When this first started he wouldn't do it in front of his wife and I felt flattered that this handsome older man gave me attention. Honestly I am attracted to him that's why I feel so guilty . How do I handle this and not let it interfere with my church life and focus on Christ. I would never entertain his advances but he hasn't made any for me to reject.
  2. I think you should confront him about it. Talk to him about how it makes you and his wife uncomfortable. If he denies doing it then, you could approach the head pastor or whoever leads your church and address your concerns. Just make sure you don't attack him with how you present it. Above all pray about it and ask God for guidance on what to do.
    Juk likes this.
  3. If this guy is that overt about his behaviour in front of even his wife, not to mention other Christians and even you, then he is numb to propriety. People like that need a bold approach. If you desire God above all else, then this hint of unrighteousness between the two of you can be nipped in the bud by your boldly going face-to-face with him in the parking lot and telling him in no uncertain terms that you and everyone else sees his roving eyes and if he wants to remain in good standing with people and the church, then he needs to put them back in their sockets toute de suite. If he doesn't comply immediately, you will go to one of the elders or the pastor. Stick a fork in it...he's done!
  4. Sister, the look of the eyes, and it's "desires" at what it sees are the beginnings of temptation. Eve saw that the fruit was desirable to make one wise, and then partook of it. Keep your eyes that they look straight ahead, and make no eye contact with which could be a cause of being evil spoken of.

    Pro 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
    Pro 4:24 Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.
    Pro 4:25 Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.
    Pro 4:26 Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

    Mat 6:22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light,
    Mat 6:23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
    Juk, Mykuhl, Isabel Ordonez and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  5. T
    Thankyou the only reason I hesitate to do that is his father in law is the pastor But I will continue to pray.
  6. I understand your hesitation. I probably would be hesitant too.
    Isabel Ordonez likes this.
  7. So talk to the leaders of the church... pastor and deacons and have other women present to. Have them keep an eye out on him and have them confront him.
  8. Thankyou all for the advice and especially the scripture verses. I feel at least I'm not asking for something that is unreasonable. I feel sometimes like I live in a upside down world and what I believe is wrong is considered right. I have at times convinced myself despite my discomfort that I was overreacting or that's what men do. My marriage was far from a model marriage. Anyway I will be prayerful and try to walk wisely I need to focus wholly on Christ.
    Mykuhl likes this.
  9. Christians are called to live in a way that is pretty much opposite to the way the world lives. In fact there is a verse in the bible that says woe to those that call good evil and evil good.

    A godly man that is walking in the Spirit does not act in that way. If he acts like that then in that area he is not walking in the Spirit.
    Isabel Ordonez and Euphemia say Amen and like this.
  10. It needs to be brought to the church leaders attention. This is appalling behaviour and should stop ASAP.
    Euphemia likes this.

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