Uhg ..my friend is trying my patience -_-

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by autumn oddity, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. Okay, this is the same friend I posted earlier about...on asking if I should end the friendship.

    He sufers with major depression and anxiety like I do..
    But its getting taxing hearing him talk about his gf' issues when she's the one in the wrong...and all he does is talk about how horrible he is..and it makes him out to be the victim...i tell him he should leave her...

    But he stays anyway so its like u want to be the victim
    ..and then, he goes on..almost feminist rants on where it seems like women can do no wrong and he continues to blame himself for why his relationship isnt working out when reality is..

    You cant make someone who doesn't want you..love you back..

    Despite this, hes still very caring and kind, he even sent me a present and is buying me something on my bday...

    No has done that for me..not even my dad..but..idk he can be a bit taxing though...

    I feel like I shouldn't give up on him because I also have anxiety and depression but I was never like him though..never that bad.. I didnt paint myself to be a victim..

    I'd id just feel so hypocritical to give up on him..despite all the times he was there for me.. ..

    When ever hes not in a depressed slump or mood..hes fine.

    Also worry like if I atop being his friend he might...you know..

    So..uhg..i need guidance..

    And I swear if god is calling me to be a nun..im all for it ..bc people are very draining..i love them but I just think I'm not meant for relationships.( platonic or romantic)
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  2. #2 Cturtle, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
    The best thing I can say is try to continually build him up. Everytime he does something good give him lots of praise, making a big deal out of it, and never point out his gf's falts...pointing out her faults tends to push someone towards the person whom treats them like crap . Sounds like to me that someone is constantly telling him how bad he is and him putting down on himself keeps him from being without someone in his life. It's a safety thing.

    Pray about God showing him how good of a person he is and also you can bind the strongman off his mind and loose the truth of how God sees him. This is definitely something you cannot do without God's help.

    Oh and being a nun.....you deal with a lot of people...lol. lots of them are teachers and such...so think twice about that.
    loriT and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  3. Not all people are takers or drain you some even uplift and build you up. The problem here is you are a builder who cares more then most and thus get drained. The key is finding a time when you can devote it to Recharging in the Lord and get your self there more and more.

    Your friend is blessed by you and knows it. Remember something our Lord Jesus said.....what you do to the least of these you have done unto me.

    God knows all the seed you sow and it is written He never forgets any seed you have sown. Yes love and caring and being there is Love of God seed sown. You will reap a good harvest from this if you Complain Not.

    Remember it was complaining and doubt that kept them out of the promised land.

    We all should have a friend such as you !!!
    Stay true sister just stay true.
    loriT and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  5. Yah his gf is a piece of work, and his family...yah...he definetly has a lot stacked up against him...but I won't abandon him..I'll try my best to be there for him... Oh and as for nun, I think I meant monk :D lol
    Cturtle likes this.
  6. Yeah I'm putting a lot into him, but its definetly not onesided...he's a great friend.the best anyone could ask for..we all have our quirks. Although, when it comes to friends I feel that's all I am is just that safety net to help them during the very worst of times...and when life gets better for them ..I'm not needed anymore.

    A good example is a former friend I had a nasty falling out with... I listened to them and encouraged them to go to school...and I think the pain in their life caused them to lash out at me...and I have my own issues so I wasn't taking it...and it ended. And I was so bothered ..BC he seemed like a really great friend , I asked God why did it happen like this.. And I think this was the answer..( I said *I think* dreams can be hit or miss soo..it could have been just me)

    I dreamt we were friends again...but later down the line he met a christian women,like a true women of god who had the same abusive past he did...so she would be able to minster to him better then I ever could...then I remember telling him everything that's in her ( God,his strength ect) would be imparted in him... He smiled..

    And I woke up...and I get it. If its from god I hope it happens, BC as I said, they would be better able to minister...i m saved and filled with the spirit and I'm struggling..

    I feel my only purpose in their life was to just get them back in schools.

    Idk I just feel I'm a blessing to others while being a curse to myself, idk its just a sucky feeling..I feel my only purpouse in life is to be a life guard for others while I myself drown.

    I just don't want this to be my destiny, to struggle to get by daily, sleeples nights, this is not living...

    When I graduate college I definetly pla n on seeing a therapist.
  7. #7 Cturtle, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
    It's interesting how there are many people who our only purpose for being in their life is to uplift and encourage and such. Sometimes only for a short time. Maybe your like Joshua...and your job in some people's life is to lead them into their own promised land so to speak. To help God to minister to them. And get them set on the right path. I read Joshua 1:5-9 one day and that coupled with a dream I had a long time ago...really spoke mountains to me. The verses popped right off the page.

    There are those of us whose lifes purpose is to gain strength and comfort from God, and then turn around and give that to others..like in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.....
    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God [Who is the Source] of every comfort (consolation and encouragement), Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.
    2 Corinthians 1:3‭-‬4 AMP

    Although something I learned along the way was that sometimes I didn't have the right boundaries up, so I ended up being a rescuer instead of being someone who pointed the people to Jesus and trusted that He would do the rest of the work that He had planned for them in them. I think so many times I tried to be the person's savior or saving grace and it turned out to be a mess. It took me a long time to learn how to be an encourager without wearing myself to thin.

    I finally realized how important it is to have a good teacher/pastor or more than one, and how important it is to make sure that I spiritually feed myself and spend time with the Father (in His Word) so that I am equipped with His power and love to give out to others. If I am not ok, and taking care of myself then I have nothing left to give to others without damaging myself. And if you look at Jesus' life...He did the same. He spent a lot of time with the Father so that He was well equipped with the Father's power to be able to minister to those whom God led Him to. He was soooo connected with the Father that He only did what He saw the Father do, and said what He heard the Father say. And as He obeyed the Father's leading, the Father's power did the works through Him. He never did anything in His own strength. And that is what we as believers need to learn the most...how to be like Jesus and do nothing in our own strength...but to rest in God's ability to work through us. To be so humbled before God that we rely on Him as He desires. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus tells us to give Him our burdens and take His. Learning how to be just like Him..gentle and obedient, walking in love at all times.

    And those times when no one is knockin down your door for help...take those times as refreshers. Times of refreshing and rejuvenate in the spirit. Build yourself back up, so that when the next one comes...you'll be ready, armed with the Word and God's strength and love to minister to those whom He leads to your path. Then while your ministering to others, you can still have your quiet time, time committed to Him...time to start the day with Him and pray in the spirit, to prepare you for the day ahead, then you are gaining wisdom from The Holy Spirit as to what you may need for the day. Then see He is directing your paths and day, and you don't have to try to figure out things on your own. Nor do you have to try to be there for others in your own strength...your going in His. :)

    Keep Putting the Word first and learning from Jesus, and imitating Jesus as Paul mentions...and you will see things change in your life for the better :)

    Love you sister!
    Have a blessed day
    autumn oddity likes this.
  8. First, I want to thank you for such a quality answer... I'll definitely reply with a thorough answer when I wake up. Have a good night...or rest of the day/evening.
    Cturtle likes this.
  9. Oh it was morning....was having a hard time going to sleep and the Holy Spirit used this time to pour out what He put in my heart to you

    God bless you abundantly
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  10. Yes He did, but thank you Cturtle youre such a kind ,patient soul...you and others have definitely been that safety net for me.. I'm sure all those who know you are extremely blessed by you all.

    Thank you all greatly God bless. :).
    Cturtle and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  11. Thank you for your kind and generous words. My heart is greatly blessed by you, and your blessings :)

    And I'm very blessed to be able to be there for you, and anyone else whom God puts in my path. I'm grateful that God trusts me with such a big responsibility, to minister to others.

    Blessings to you

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