I am guilty, my girlfriend and I, of having sex before marriage. I initiated it. It is my fault. But the moment I did it I was wishing I hadn't - the pull of the Holy Spirit was strong on me since. I came out of a sex addict background, and doing well and recovering from porn. I don't want to have sex with her until we're married. She doesn't have any conviction about having sex. She is a professing Christian, and she actually reads the bible, and is very serious about her spiritual life with God and Jesus, or so it appears. My Christian counselor is trying to build confidence in me to enforce God's way of doing it - and I have told her a dozen times or more how I feel about it - and I'm afraid I'll lose her if I say another word. She is, other than the intimacy problem, the best girl who's come my way as far as loving me. My Christian counselor thinks she is finding security in sex with me, that she lost when she got divorced 5 years ago, and lost her only child a year ago. I'm really messed up over this. I take full responsibility. I pray to God for Him to lead us in or out of a relationship at this point. I pray that His will be done in our lives. Mostly I pray that I could once again please God with my life - it's really hard to get out of this thing without some hard break. I'm not emotionally ready for the hard break. BTW, we're looking into marriage, but she has financial concerns because I am disabled. I'm not sure either one of us know what's going to happen. It's really sad right now. If anybody has any encouragement, please feel free to share it. Thanks a lot.