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Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by banjo71, Feb 11, 2014.

  1. I am guilty, my girlfriend and I, of having sex before marriage. I initiated it. It is my fault. But the moment I did it I was wishing I hadn't - the pull of the Holy Spirit was strong on me since.

    I came out of a sex addict background, and doing well and recovering from porn. I don't want to have sex with her until we're married. She doesn't have any conviction about having sex. She is a professing Christian, and she actually reads the bible, and is very serious about her spiritual life with God and Jesus, or so it appears. My Christian counselor is trying to build confidence in me to enforce God's way of doing it - and I have told her a dozen times or more how I feel about it - and I'm afraid I'll lose her if I say another word. She is, other than the intimacy problem, the best girl who's come my way as far as loving me. My Christian counselor thinks she is finding security in sex with me, that she lost when she got divorced 5 years ago, and lost her only child a year ago.

    I'm really messed up over this. I take full responsibility. I pray to God for Him to lead us in or out of a relationship at this point. I pray that His will be done in our lives. Mostly I pray that I could once again please God with my life - it's really hard to get out of this thing without some hard break. I'm not emotionally ready for the hard break.

    BTW, we're looking into marriage, but she has financial concerns because I am disabled. I'm not sure either one of us know what's going to happen. It's really sad right now.

    If anybody has any encouragement, please feel free to share it. Thanks a lot.
  2. If she has no revelation that it's not good to have sex with someone who has not made a covenant before God in marriage. Then what can you do? If you want to keep her then the last thing you need to do is blast her about what she believes.

    Having sex with her once though is rough because now if you say no, she might believe something is wrong with her and your using religion as an excuse or she might think you don't feel man enough............. The list can go on.

    Sin has a cost in this natural life. God forgives and gets you moving on, but sometimes its like robbing a bank and still having to go to prison. You can be forgiven by God just fine in prison but that don't get you out of prison.

    There is a reason the Holy Spirit tells us to stop and if we ignore him it could cost us our lives and the whole plan of God. This could only cost you a girlfriend so your getting off pretty good if there is a split.

    Sometimes we just man up and tell God that we would love for the relationship to work out but if not, we know God still has a great plan and someone down the road that is better. Us messing up, does not stop God from fixing it and having better than what we would have had.

    If she does not know sex before marriage is wrong, and she is a believer, then this might be a good thing down the road. Best to find out now anyway.
    AllieWi likes this.
  3. Praying for you brother . I can feel your pain in this. <3
  4. If you both know The Lord then get married at a courthouse

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