if it weren't for the balloon my mom got me, I would have forgotten... I don't have friends so didn't really celebrate... just tried to do the laundry.. I honestly wonder why god created me... is he that angry he has to make my life miserable. I try to move on and forget about him and do things myself.. but I just wonder why a lot. Idk if I'll ever have the relationship I had with god again.. he just doesn't seem to care for me( pls don't bring up the calvary thing..he did it for everyone... but some..his favorites, he comforts them when they're down..and gives them a word of encouragement to help them keep going. I got nothing. I read an online post abt how this girl lost her friends after accepting Christ..and god gave her a dream..a dove rested on her shoulder saying even though ur friends forgot abt you..I haven't. And I haven't had friends since highschool.... all I ever wanted was to believe in that love god has for everyone...for me.. but after my bad exp.. and today..... I can't say god loves me, love is a perpetual action.. not a one time thing... (if god speaks to you daily,comforts you..pls...you wouldn't understand). I'd hate to say this but I don't like god at all. I'm sorry for venting, I just feel... crummy ATM.