The Path We Walk

[LearningToLetGo]

I do not lie.
I lie, but my lies are small and don't matter.
My lies matter, but they are excusable.
My lies are not excusable, but I deserve mercy.
I hate you!
I love you...
I do not deserve mercy.

 

[BibleLover]

I do not lie.
I lie, but my lies are small and don't matter.
My lies matter, but they are excusable.
My lies are not excusable, but I deserve mercy.
I hate you!
I love you...
I do not deserve mercy.

Read the poem "The Collar" by George Herbert. It is a good depiction of what you describe. He wrote it on the eve of his ordination. He really poured out his heart.

 

[LearningToLetGo]

Once you accept that you do not deserve mercy yet are given mercy nonetheless if you but look to Jesus and believe, a wonderful thing happens. Your heart, not unlike the dear Grinch, begins to grow and you see yourself finally in your true light: a fallen, wretched creature, loved not because of your arrogance, pettiness and hateful nature but despite it.