Taming the Tongue

James 3:1-12
(Sorry, I can't get the link to work in BB code :oops:)
What a great message, and how true it is!
I have a great deal of struggle in holding my toungue when someone speaks ill of me or just anyone, really. I do believe if one has a problem with someone, either leave it be or talk to that person and figure something out. However, a lot of people, like myself, fail at this because emotions get in the way. No one likes to feel guilty or hated by another, I certainly don't like the feeling myself. So, is talking about the situation to another a bad idea?
Especially in family, emotions run high sometimes and things are said in which we cannot take back.

It says here that humans cannot tame the tongue, so what are we to say when we are confronted with an evil tongue?
 
James 3:1-12
(Sorry, I can't get the link to work in BB code :oops:)
What a great message, and how true it is!
I have a great deal of struggle in holding my toungue when someone speaks ill of me or just anyone, really. I do believe if one has a problem with someone, either leave it be or talk to that person and figure something out. However, a lot of people, like myself, fail at this because emotions get in the way. No one likes to feel guilty or hated by another, I certainly don't like the feeling myself. So, is talking about the situation to another a bad idea?
Especially in family, emotions run high sometimes and things are said in which we cannot take back.

It says here that humans cannot tame the tongue, so what are we to say when we are confronted with an evil tongue?

This is what I read about the "tongue."

James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Whenever I read the Holy Bible, I am always reminded about "Able ministers of the New Testament" that God revealed to Paul in:

2 Corinthians 3:6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.

What then is the "letter" for the word "tongue?" This must be MAN'S understanding from the word of God.

What is the "spirit" for the word "tongue"? This must be the "intended message" of God from His words?
 
One thing that should help is to stick to the facts. Your feelings are your feelings, but being upset doesn't resolve anything. By not reacting with emotions, you avoid feeding the fire and you can focus the conversation on the things that speak solidly to the issues at hand. Another thing you can do is to think about the things you often find yourself in emotional conversations about and think about what the real issues are and how you can respond to them. By thinking about them when you are calm, you are more likely to come up with calm responses when a confrontation comes.

When someone says "Jack/Jill is so stupid!" you can say, "Oh? Why do you say that?" At first that seems like an invitation to gossip, but what it does is force them to defend their statement. Their feelings are their feelings, but if they want you to share their feelings, they must now focus on the facts and defend their viewpoint. Look at these interactions with the same professional interest, the same professional detachment, and the same clinical analysis as that of a good lawyer arguing a case, a judge hearing a case, a doctor diagnosing a patient, or a mechanic trying to find that odd clanking noise. "You say your car is a lemon? Why do you say that? It clanks and clatters? Hmm...what do these noises sound like? Where do they seem to be coming from? When do they occur? (etc., etc.) Eventually, you come to clarity and truth, which is the foundation for building solid relationships and solutions.

Of course, it goes without saying that you ask God to grant you insight, wisdom, and self-control. You seek to be empowered (and restrained, as necessary) by the Holy Spirit.
 
Let alone demonstrate what "letter" of His word that MAN'S WISDOM dicate, and "spirit" of His word by DIVINE REVELATION. Right afte Jesus Christ drove away the merchants in the TEMPLE, He told His listeners:

John 2:19 Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.

Let us listen to the JEWS who used HUMAN WISDOM understanding the word "temple."

John 2:20 Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days?

Matthew 27:40 And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.

However, the DISCILES just waited for our Lord to give His "intended message" for the word "temple."

John 2:21 But he spake of the temple of his body.

John 2:22 When therefore he was risen from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this unto them; and they believed the scripture, and the word which Jesus had said.

Conclusion:

For people to take the "letter" of the word literally, with HUMAN WISDOM, they "do not even believed the scriptures, and the word which Jesus is saying."
 
One thing that should help is to stick to the facts. Your feelings are your feelings, but being upset doesn't resolve anything. By not reacting with emotions, you avoid feeding the fire and you can focus the conversation on the things that speak solidly to the issues at hand. Another thing you can do is to think about the things you often find yourself in emotional conversations about and think about what the real issues are and how you can respond to them. By thinking about them when you are calm, you are more likely to come up with calm responses when a confrontation comes.

When someone says "Jack/Jill is so stupid!" you can say, "Oh? Why do you say that?" At first that seems like an invitation to gossip, but what it does is force them to defend their statement. Their feelings are their feelings, but if they want you to share their feelings, they must now focus on the facts and defend their viewpoint. Look at these interactions with the same professional interest, the same professional detachment, and the same clinical analysis as that of a good lawyer arguing a case, a judge hearing a case, a doctor diagnosing a patient, or a mechanic trying to find that odd clanking noise. "You say your car is a lemon? Why do you say that? It clanks and clatters? Hmm...what do these noises sound like? Where do they seem to be coming from? When do they occur? (etc., etc.) Eventually, you come to clarity and truth, which is the foundation for building solid relationships and solutions.

Of course, it goes without saying that you ask God to grant you insight, wisdom, and self-control. You seek to be empowered (and restrained, as necessary) by the Holy Spirit.

Excellant advice.

Matthew 18:15-16
A Brother Who Sins Against You............
15"If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
Although this is for church disipline, I have found that in my life it works extremly well in fixing problems that come up between people. It must be done NOT in a vindictive manner but strightforward and honest so that the relationship can be kept instead of being torn apart. Things left alone will fester, and grow bitterness in your heart.

God bless!
 
Let alone demonstrate what "letter" of His word that MAN'S WISDOM dicate, and "spirit" of His word by DIVINE REVELATION. Right afte Jesus Christ drove away the merchants in the TEMPLE, He told His listeners:

John 2:19 Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.

Let us listen to the JEWS who used HUMAN WISDOM understanding the word "temple."

John 2:20 Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days?

Matthew 27:40 And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.

However, the DISCILES just waited for our Lord to give His "intended message" for the word "temple."

John 2:21 But he spake of the temple of his body.

John 2:22 When therefore he was risen from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this unto them; and they believed the scripture, and the word which Jesus had said.

Conclusion:

For people to take the "letter" of the word literally, with HUMAN WISDOM, they "do not even believed the scriptures, and the word which Jesus is saying."

The tongue may be used in two kinds of things that affect the life of a man:

1. For things pertaining to morality that at death all these are buried in the grave.
2. For things pertaining to God and His words, and these would affect life after death.

I believe the warning given to us in the Bible pertains more to things pertaining to No. 2

Is not this kind of using the tongue that God is warning us about since the following is given to us specifying the characteristic of an "able minister of the New Testament.

2 Corinthians 3:6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.

Example, for the commandment "Thou shalt not steal."

As regards morality, stealing money, property, and anything of value not owned.
As regards spirituality, what Jesus Christ said in the following:

John 10:1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.
The "door?"

John 10:7 Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep.
And Jesus is the truth!

John 14:6 Jesus said, I am the truth...

Therefore the more importan message for this commandment is to search and find the truth. This is clearly demonstrated by the "thief at the right hand of Jesus," and the Scribes and Pharisees who are in the eyes of our Lord are but in the company of the "thief at the left hand of Jesus" on the cross.
 
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