Taken advantage of? I feel a bit silly sharing this as it isnt really that important but it is biting at me and I dont want to carry it into the new year. One of my sons is married and has a child. His wife is from Uganda and we had a lengthy wait following their wedding before they would let her into the country and get a visa etc. She was pregnant within a month of their wedding and my son had to leave his pregnant wife, and come back to England. Anyway to cut a long story short, we finally won the case and she came back at 32 weeks pregnant. Within a week it was discovered she had placenta preavia (the placenta covers the cervix) and she was quite ill. She eventually haemorreged and had an emergency c-section three weeks early, the little boy Jordan, is alive and well and I praise God for that. Anyway throughout this time I did all the running around, court cases in London, flights contributed to when they didnt have enough, hospital appointments, things for the baby, all the things that families should do for each other. I am generous on birthdays and at Christmas, spending as much as I can on each of their gifts. I babysit, and I do my best with God's grace, to be a good parent and grandparent. This last Christmas (the fourth in a row) my son and his wife came for Christmas lunch , once again they bought nothing with them, no presents no contribution to the lunch (remember I have 8 children and some are married and have children) so that's a lot of food! My son had said to me the day before 'mum I havent been paid so cant get anything, but will as soon as I do get paid'. That's ok I thought, knowing that his wife is also working in a well paid job (what was wrong with her doing it?) Anyway seven days on, I get reports that they have been out and bought a new computer, been clothes shopping in the sales, but not a word about any presents they said they would get. My son is the sort that if he has a need, rings up and asks, and that's ok, that's what family is about, I like to help, I get them bits of shopping when they have been short and babysit etc. Why do I feel so narked? Is it because it is yet another Christmas ( they are the same on birthdays btw) nothing comes from their end, and yet they take, take , take, and not just from us, my older son is fed up with it, they have a good income for a one child family, they have a nice apartment, and yet they dont even realise, it seems, that it is give and take, not just take. Am I being picky, should I confront him or just let it go. My feeling is 'ok, I wont do anymore for you', but then I feel Jesus says we shouldnt repay evil with evil. I am not sure my son even comprehends that that it is part of life to also give, or does he? Does he feel 'oh good' got away with it again?. I dont want to sound self righteous, but I have tried so hard to help get them on their feet after a difficult start, often sacrificing important stuff to help them, I really feel that to buy your parents a gift at Christmas or for birthdays isnt too much to expect. I know I need to forgive him, and I dont give to get but Christmas is about giving, and for this to continually happen, well as I said, should I say something or just drop it?