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Super Guilty About Dating As A Baby Christian

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jesusisawesome, Apr 11, 2013.

  1. I'm a new Christian, almost a year! All my mentors have told me that I shouldn't be dating anyone for a while so I can build a close relationship with the Lord and be transformed while single. I basically ignored their advice and started dating the guy who lead me to the Lord.

    We've helped each other a lot, and we're very compatible. Following God with our whole hearts. After realizing that it was not smart to be going against my mentors wishes, we stepped back from dating into a friendship.

    We went to meet with my pastor and mentor, and they love both of us and approve of what we're doing: being friends. We still both picture a future together but that's not our focus; our focus is pushing each other towards God.

    For some reason I feel incredibly guilty about it though. I'm being nagged from the inside out that I should cut off all contact with him. I'm not sure why, as we're not sinning... God shows us bizarre things when we're together that could only be from the hand of the Lord, (not necessarily about a relationship, but things about God), we're both very much on fire and want to go into full time ministry... Plus we love each other from an action oriented love, not a lustful or feeling oriented sort of love.

    For some reason though I have a terrible, terrible nagging feeling about us. It's constant guilt that is always in my mind. It's hard to believe a constant guilt would be from God. It seems as though my feelings are telling me one thing, and my circumstances are telling another.

    What would you do? I'm starting to feel that if I don't cut off all contact with him I'll never have peace. But I wouldn't want to lose something wonderful, even if its only a friendship, because of mind games the Devil can play... Or I might be playing on myself. But what if I'm being disobedient to God if I don't cut off all contact, and therefore out of his will? Does God even have a solid will? ...These would be the questions I'm struggling pretty severely with. It's consuming my every thought.

    Help? Or pray!! Thank you!
  2. Looking at this and your other post, I'm wondering about the timing of this relationship. Both of you need time to become strongly established and stable in your walk with God. That doesn't necessarily meaning cutting off all contact with each other, though it certainly could mean that. Since all I know about either of you is from the few posts on this forum, it is hard for me to get a sense of where either of you are in your personal maturity and in your faith. Consequently, it is difficult to give a difinitive answer.

    The guilt is a significant thing, but what it means and what needs to be done in response depends on where it is coming from.
    Rusty likes this.
  3. That uncertainty, I believe, is God prompting
    you. Listen to Him. If this relationship is meant
    to be, God will make it happen. I was only Christian for a little over a year when I met my last boyfriend. We were together for 4 years and that entire time that nagging uncertainty dragged along aside is. I'm regret that I never demanded space and time to think, I just lightly suggested it but I never fully stuck to it. And four years later, I'm certain and he's just not certain anymore. So I urge you to seek God's discernment and wisdom, and trust him that if u and this guy are meant
    to be, He's gonna make it happen.
    xspinningisfun likes this.

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