Such A Thing As Non Punative Parenting? I have noticed quite a rise of websites and discussion groups where mostly young parents have decided they have come up with a superior way of raising their children. The difference between this group and a very similar group from the 60's is this group is using a few Scriptures and the "grace" theology as the justification for their "superior" parenting style. As with many partial truths, this tends to be tricky to refute. Since part of what is being said is true, when pointing out the error many from the partially true stance can quickly point to the truthful part of what they say as evidence that one must accept all of what they say. In parenting seminars I have listed 4 steps to setting and keeping Loving Limits in a child's life: 1. Teach 2. Expose both correct and incorrect behavior 3. With repeated wrong behavior, correct and warn of coming punishment with future wrong behavior 4. Punish and restore It is true that there are some "passive" children who rarely need the punishment, many children simply NEED the boundaries and will not respect individuals who do not set boundaries. In an effort to remove any type of punitive actions (either punishments you set up or natural consequences) one must remove most of the limits or boundaries. How they do we expect our children to be disciplined enough to enter school or the work world? How can they play sports and not accept the realities of life experiences that are "punitive" or negative? This belief must deny the reality of our sin nature. James 1:14-15 states, "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." OK, it is true that our training alone cannot bring a child to salvation. Yet, God clearly states that the "law" is the schoolmaster. Because ultimately grace gets us to heaven and justifies us does not mean that we can abandon discipline. Rather several times Paul asks "shall we continue in sin that grace abounds? God forbid!" It is true that parenting will take loads and loads of grace! But not an absence of discipline. Sooner or later parenting will include a punitive action. Often it takes a greater love and sacrifice to punish our child. What do you think?