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Something that saddens me

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by violet, Jul 3, 2007.

  1. Something that saddens me

    Women do not like me very much.
    This is embarrassing for me to admit but even my husband knows it to be true.
    I can't understand why and he can't figure it out either.
    He says I am one of the nicest people there are, I am kind, considerate and very caring.
    I am honest, upstanding, I love God......

    My husband has witnessed this~I smile at women, even when we go to church and some of them give me dirty looks.
    I try to strike up conversations, I am very interested in what people say, I am real, not a snob and I think I am very humble in my character.
    I just can't figure it out and it does hurt me on some level though I try not to make let it bother me but I feel left out.
    Any advice?
    I can take possitive criticism!
    Thank you~
  2. Continuing with the thoughts of Sylvanus: We all know that there are many levels of Biblical and Scriptural knowledge among people who believe. Some persons have many hours each week to study God's Word while others have very little time.

    People have a tendency to criticize that which they do not fully understand. Therefore, it is only logical that persons with less Biblical education might be critical of those who have much Biblical education because they have not yet reached that plateau of understanding, and certain Scriptural concepts are foreign to them.

    At the same time, those who do have a high degree of Biblical knowledge should not "overload" their brothers and sisters minds with too much teaching all at one time. Knowledge is a gift from God, but it is how we make that information available to others that determins if it is to be received well or if it makes a person look arrogant in the eyes of the less educated. People Skills in teaching and discussing God's Word is all-important if God's Message to us all is to be understood and accepted.
  3. its funny you should say that violet my sister in-law has a similar problem.it must be her look ,or something.maybe she looks strict i really dont know,funny how some people are wary by a look or being a good person?.
  4. Thank you all very much.
    It always helps to hear other's opinions.
    I do want you to know though that I never judge or look down on people.
    I act the same with everyone when I go to church.
    And I have never said anything about modesty or dress except to the youth minister.
    My husband says he thinks my friendliness scares people off.
    Is that possible?
    SC, actually, I really am a fun loving, silly person in real life!
    I love to talk, laugh, joke......at the right place and right time.
    I still love to swing on the swing and play ball with my kids.
    I'm serious about God and my family but I am very lighthearted.

    Do people think that I think I am better than them because I would NEVER think that!!!

    You have all been helpful with your insight and it's true, only God's love and acceptance is all I ever really need!
  5. maybe its the carefree approach.it has been said to me numerous times i look to relaxed.to confident etc.
  6. correct and your treasure is in heaven.dont let them change you.
  7. Thank you!
    I think it is a trust issue.
    People are very leary, understandably~
  8. I don't think it has anything to do with you. It has to do with them... I deal with all the time so you're not alone. Even at a christian high school, girls can be really mean. There were these 2 girls whom I really wanted to get to know better and become friends with because they looked like a lot of fun. I tried very hard to get them to like me ( being really sweet, complimenting them and even inviting them to my sweet 16). But for some reason, all they did was make fun of, criticize, and humiliate me in front of others. I still can't find why they treat me the way they do, I have been nothing but sweet and kind to them. It also frustrates because they are also more popular than I am.

    Just remember that by being the kind woman that you are, you are doing what God wants you to. Also it might help if you pray for these snobby women.:pray:
  9. SuzieQ,
    you're an angel.
    I guess we both can learn by this.
    We have morals and are good people.
    And you are right, God is who we have to please and he is a friend that sticks closer than a brother!
    Love, Violet :eek:
  10. You are a nice person.
    Sometimes people can't handle a nice person.
    They're the ones that need advice.

    I don't know why I wrote that in Haiku form :D


    But honestly; People grow up in different lifestyles and they've probably been let down so many times. I know it's hard to understand someone else's position, but don't stop smiling. If they can't handle beauty, then they will never have beauty.

  11. Wow, Nate, I think you are awesome!
    You're a smart young man!
    Thank you~
  12. I don't really know you yet, but what helps me is when I find things I have in common with other people. Just a thought:rolleyes:
  13. G, true so why am I not finding women like myself?
  14. I think this might be because you might be a little bit more conservative than the average women ( which isn't a bad thing either but some women may feel intimidated by this) or if you are a shy person, try feeling confident. What I would do is try to find out what their interests are. For example, if a woman likes tea, invite her to eat lunch with you at a tea room. Maybe your husband could also help with this. If there is a man hubby likes to hang out with, maybe you could invite him and his wife over for dinner. I hope this helps :)
  15. SuzieQ,
    you are 100% right about this and are one smart young lady.
    I am old fashioned and many women think that is silly.
    Why would I want to wear an apron, bake from scratch, have so many children, love and own too many animals, hang my clothes on the line to dry when I have a brand new dryer, dislike T.V, and so on.....
    This is what people wonder about me.
    I enjoy this kind of life and my husband teasingly tells me I was born in the wrong century!
    Unfortunately my husband's job is from his home office and all the people he deals with are in other parts of the world.
    I realize the important thing is to always be myself, stand tall and enjoy life as it comes.
    And you are so right about the confidence.
    No matter what, we have to believe in who we are!
    Maybe it's not so bad to be unique, hmmm? :)
  16. Hey Violet!
    Boy, can I identify. It's because we(you) are REAL. Alot of the time we go around wearing a mask where ever we go, especially to church! Some women don't know how to handle a real persona. How you are at home should be how you are in church, and visa versa. But, unfortunantly, they(women) wear a mask in church cause they really don't want anyone to know what's really going on at home or in their personal life, so they put on a fasade(sp?). They get so good at it , that it becomes real to them, and the real REAL isn't so real, it's weird to them. It may even scare them.
    Does this make any sense?
    The only other cause may be personality clashes. Suspicious people usally have nothing in common with bubbly, cheerfull, sugery-sweet people.
    I tend to be a little of both! hehe:dance: I get along with most everyone I meet. Pain has a way of interfering with bubbly. It's rather, pain vs suspicious for me.
  17. Angel,
    wow, I'm so glad to see you on here!
    Yes I do understand what you are saying and it makes perfect sense.
    Hope you're doing well.
    Stop by more often!
    :) :eek: :)
  18. There are many women who are hurting a lot of times from alcoholism of parents, childhood sexual abuse, violence in the home at an early age. Sin is sin in God's eyes, but, the impact of certain sins can create a lifetime of pain and misunderstanding. The dirty looks may be questioning looks. They may want to open up to you, but, don't trust you yet. Being consistent with them will be a blessing I'm sure.
  19. Lightenup,
    thank you very much.

    Also, I am one of the victims you mentioned which is why my heart goes out to people.

    Another thought ocurred to me recently.
    I won't gossip!
    I hate to say it but many women like to do this!
    If you won't take part in the gossip circle they think you are a snob!
    Could anything be more opposite!

    Bless you~
  20. Sometimes I struggle with gossip, as many women do. Although, I wish I didn't have this problem because I know I wouldn't want people to talk bad about me. But what I try to do if I hear someone gossiping, I try to tell them, "Hey girls, we really shouldn't say negative things about other people" and it usually stops after that. Because you don't gossip, I admire you and I know the Lord has his hand on your shoulder :)

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