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single mom done being single

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by momof4, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. single mom done being single

    I am new to this board… just looking for a bit of advice or any thoughts. I am single mom of 4 children. Divorced. I have been single mom for about 5 years now.

    I can look back and see very definitely the mistakes I made in my life that led to the bad relationships and how I have ended up in this boat & now just hope to be wiser in the future. I guess I am a bit discouraged about relationships in general. I have read through many of the posts here and many who have commented about having a harder time in relationships with proclaimed “Christians” than nonbelievers. In my own experience I would have to agree. The fathers of my children are both proclaimed “Christians” In both cases the men love the idea of a quiet, submissive, subservient wife – and that nothing should be expected of the man, while the woman should be like a saint. In both cases I left the relationship due to adultery on the man’s part. In both cases the men did not put forth the effort to support our family or to help with the kids so I could support our family and I really believe they saw me as more something they “owned” as they knew I would follow God’s word and would not break our vows. Not as an actual person and a partner to love…. I guess the infidelity was just the last straw, or grounds that I could be released from what was already very unhealthy. Essentially, I feel like to this day neither one of them has changed, and what help I have from them with the children has had to be forced through court orders and they do the bare minimum to save face so they can maintain “appearances”. That’s all it seems to boil down to is that they want to “appear” to be good men.

    As a believer I feel very strongly about certain things and I believe God has put it on my heart to feel the way I do. I do look around in our society today and see many behaviors as being directly responsible for the state our country is in and do not want to contribute to the mess although I know I already have by the fact that I am divorced. I cannot control the world but I can do what is right in my home & my life & teach my kids right. From my observation and experience most of the Christian men I have met and observed do not seem to take their role or responsibility seriously – or else seem to think that “forgiveness” will cover it all and there should be no real consequences. I have met many non believers who actually LIVE RIGHT – they seem to have a greater sense of right / wrong, common sense, understand natural consequences and take accountability for their shortcomings and when they are in the wrong – actually repent in the true sense that they TURN FROM what they were doing wrong and correct their ways.

    I am determined to continue doing what I know is right and teach my children the same. Unfortunately, I believe many of the problems plaguing the world today are being ignored by the churches and many Christians – as if we are released from being responsible for our families, environment, etc. When in reality the Bible commands us to be good stewards of what God has created and given us. The attitude I have witnessed is one of “being entitled” and taking for granted and I do not agree with it. The Bible makes many references to Nature and the ways of Nature and it’s relation to God and how He works…. In nature things work together and each has it’s part – or else the unit dies. Is this not what is happening to our families today? To our country? I do not mean to sound harsh, but I see so many single parents out there working to their fullest for their families – and too many deadbeats who think life is all about themselves & having a good time, trying to “look” the part without doing their part.

    I met a man a couple years ago who became my “friend” and I have been seeing him for over a year now. This man is not a Christian but his actions speak loudly for who he is. Here I had limited myself to “Christian” men and ended up alone, tired, overworked, overwhelmed, put down, guilt tripped over every little thing and made to feel like no matter what I did I was doing something wrong…. and of course they still feel they are the “victims” and I am a mean and terrible woman for not being more patient and just “forgiving and forgetting”. And now I meet a man who is not a proclaimed “Christian” but he LIVES RIGHT. The Bible says if we hear these things or say them and do not do them then what good is it? And now I see why. This man never expects me to “put up” with being cheated on, treated badly, etc. He takes care of his daughter without complaint and works hard to be a good friend, neighbor, etc in his community. He does not think he is exempt from consequences but is quite humble and careful in his ways so that he does not bring suffering on his household. He lives a simple life as I do and we have much in common in how we live – neither of us are interested in the fancier things in life but are very practical. We actually talk about things and I can talk about my feelings and he genuinely cares about me.

    I guess what I am saying is that from what I have observed – what the Bible says and what is going on in our families, churches and country today seem to be two completely different things. And that there is RIGHT and WRONG. If I wanted to bake a cake and I sat on the couch talking about it – I would not have a cake. If I got off my behind and mixed all the ingredients together then left it in a bowl on the counter – I would not have a cake. I’m only going to get my cake when I actually DO what it takes. This is how everything is nature works as well. As I am studying to become a nurse this becomes even more evident. Imagine if your kidneys “listened” to the messages the brain was sending but did not RESPOND with an appropriate action? Most likely – YOU WOULD DIE. Or if your liver decided to stop functioning properly and said “it’s okay – I’m forgiven and I can do what I want” – THE BODY WOULD DIE. This is what is happening to our families. Rather than two parents taking things seriously and functioning as a unit we have selfishness, laziness and people with a general attitude that they should be able to contribute nothing but junk to the family / relationship and still get their “cake” because they are “entitled” to it. I heard a saying once that “love is like an ointment – it doesn’t work unless it’s applied”. Love in action = results. Faith in action = results. I am just tired of all the talk. Maybe being single a few years with the kids has done that to me.

    I know in my heart I have been trying to do the best I can with what I have – maybe I am just at my wits end. Basically all I have learned is that I can get up each day doing all I can and there will always be a bunch of people there to tell me I could do better, do more, be this or that or whatever. And… that as far as relationships, parenting and family is concerned – it is not the person who says they love Jesus but the person who lives like He taught us who actually makes the difference. There actually is a “recipe” for having healthy families, communities, churches, etc… and just like baking a cake, we actually have to do things a certain way to get the desired outcome. Overextending credit, going into debt, refusing to work, refusal to care for our children and set the example for them, cheating on spouses, lying, alcoholism and drug addiction… these are not the ingredients for a happy marriage or family and yet in my experience there are way too many who do these things and seriously seem confused about why they didn’t get their cake. What is going on in our churches that nobody is telling them the truth? I do believe there is still a lot of good in the world – I just don’t believe it’s limited to church or Christians anymore.

    I have gone on being tired and alone for quite a while now and I love the man I have being seeing very much – I enjoy our time together. And yes, I know “a man” does not solve all of life’s problems – I am not looking for that, but love and companionship and after a long road I believe I may have found it even though it is not with a “Christian” man. Any advice or thoughts on this? So far all the Christian advice I get is that I need to keep “waiting” for a Christian man…. And yes, I am still young, 31, attractive, and very much still alive…. Wasting away most of these years that I really feel should be spent in partnership with a man. Or – should I settle on a “Christian” man who’s morals and lifestyle do not match my own? Just for the sake of what? So people won’t tell me I’m wrong and everything will look good on the outside? I used to believe that I had to find another Christian to have a successful marriage but in reality I have discovered it takes a lot more than that - relationships do require work and effort on both parts and it doesn't stop at "I do". My mother was a Christian and my Dad is still not and they remained married over 20 years until Mom passed away. To this day, my Dad and my brothers are some of the best examples of husbands, fathers I have seen - and they are not believers. My mother was allowed to focus her efforts on nurturing the family and never had to take on a masculine role, neither has my sister in law. In neither case have the woman ever been expected to tolerate adultery or childish irresponsibility on the part of the man. I am the first generation single parent family. I am a believer and I do not mean to say that there are not any good Christian men out there - I just don't think being a "godly" man is limited to Christians - looking at the actions of individual people.

    Has anybody else noticed the same thing or had similar experience? I am just wondering if I am way off track here.
  2. what can i say,we are travelling out of this place.this is a spiritual battle.christians are being attacked for what they try to represent.this life is not easy for a christian man or woman.you are correct in what you say many non-believers are better men and women.but you forget 1 thing,they are no threat and left alone.to marry a non-believer i see no problem.you will get problems from both.you need to read about what is going on and make your own mind up.:)
  3. These verses came to mind.

    Pro 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end of it is the ways of death.

    Pro 3:5 Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding.
    Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

    Amo 3:3 Can two walk together unless they are agreed?

    2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship does righteousness have with lawlessness? And what partnership does light have with darkness?

    You need to ask God if it is right.
    If you ask for advice from people and they say, “this is what I think…” don’t pay much attention.
    Listen to the people who say, “this is what God says about it…”
    In doing that, you are really taking advice from God. And who better knows what you should do than God?
  4. Welcome to CFS momof4:heart:

    I agree that there are many good men who have not bended the knee to the Lordship of Christ Jesus...and there are just that "good but lost". I have seen ONE "good man" come to know Christ Jesus; he did works in the church; was loving to his family, worked hard, served others but after he had open heart surgery; he realized that the was "good but not saved". He accepted Christ and lived as a "good and saved" man for 3 years before He went to be with the Lord at the age of 72.:D I had been praying for him for over 18 years...Hallelujah.

    I am sure that after two bad "christian" marriages that this relationship seems like a bit of heaven. It sounds like you are happy...In reality of our walk of faith, shouldn't we evaluate any relationship we have with a non-believer? Solomon, the wisest man, was led away from His God by the attraction to "his wives" who were pagans. He made the choice; his wives and "marriages" VS. God...

    Nehemiah 13:23-27
    23In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab: 24And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews' language, but according to the language of each people. 25And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.
    26Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. 27Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?
    2 Corinthians 6:14
    Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

    Again, welcome and I will be praying for you and your children...:groupray:
  5. what can I say to someone who has endured the heartache of not just one but TWO divorces.. from someone who stood before God and promised themselves wholly unto you... that they would love you in sickness and health; but, instead, turned on you. What excuse can I give for these men? none. What can I do to make all these dark realities less? nothing.

    the truth is, my sister in Christ, that this man is not for you. Manhood is Christlikeness; but Christlikeness is much more than simply being morally "good" and making "right choices." It is more than just "taking responsibility" or even "truly caring." It is about, as so eloquently put, "bowing the knee to Christ." It is about laying down your life, your rights... a truthful and full surrender of self to Christ.

    No matter how good a man is, he is never good enough without Christ. It is only through the love of Christ in a man that allows Him to love like Christ; and that is the love you seek. Any other love will let you down.

    I know the heartache you feel. I know the tears you cry and the words you have poured out to Christ begging for company; just someone to hold you through all that you feel.... but a cheap alternative will never satisfy.

    Trust in Christ and get closer to Him. HE is the ONLY solution to any problem. Get closer to Him and further away from things that appeal to your flesh but do not feed your spirit nor spur you on to godliness and purity.

    May God bless you as you seek Him and His will. If there is anything I can do.. don't hesitate to PM me.


    PS any man who has NOT surrendered fully and who does not DO the Word is no more a christian than the most wretched of sinners.
  6. has she ever been here since,or has she just been used.?:eek:
  7. Thank you for the reply's. I know you are all right in what you are saying. I cannot let my past experiences with "people" to cause me to drift away from God and what he has planned for my life and the lives of my children. I have kept the friendship with this man but I am not entertaining the relationship anymore and putting some distance there. I have been realizing I need to spend more of my time with other believers and taking steps in my life to get involved in a local church here. I had gotten so "busy" with school & the kids I have not had the time for anything else and falling distant in my friendships / relationships with other Christians. I think it just felt good to think I might finally have a loving companion - somebody who would be with the kids and I permanently, somebody who actually has the time and wants to spend time with us and take an interest in our lives. Don't get me wrong - I know God is here with us... but it is still very difficult being the only adult in the household. It can get very overwhelming and lonely and a lot of the time I do feel like I have to work extra hard so that me & the kids will not be a burden on anybody else. I am considering quitting school indefinately after this quarter - to get my family back on track & focus on being mom. I have not decided for sure yet. Praying that I will know for sure if this is what God wants me to do right now. I read some of the posts regarding parents of multiple children and I am glad to see others who consider children a blessing. The world does not tend to see things this way and I did not imagine my life would turn out this way. If nothing else at least some of my experiences have led me to have a greater understanding and compassion for others. Thank you for your prayers and responses.
  8. good for you coming back.welcome to the forum.:)
  9. Momof4,
    My sister,
    Let me leave with you this thought from scripture.

    Mat 21:28 But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work today in my vineyard.
    Mat 21:29 He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.
    Mat 21:30 And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not.
    Mat 21:31 Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.

    You say this man you have been seeing, though not professing to be a christian is a good man. Yet you and others judge him by a title"Christian" that we all know is arbitray and misleading at best.
    It is by the spirit, the nature, the fruit of a man that we should judge him, not the the claim of christianity that he does or doesn't profess before the world. If there is one good apple in bussel of rotten apples does that make the one good apple bad???
    You and yours are better off with a good man that has of yet to verbaly commit to Christ than a thousand who have verbaly commited and claimed such but are not what they say they are!!!!!

    Open your eyes brothers and sisters!!
    It's not those who say LORD LORD that are his but those who do the will of the father!!!!

    Choose the ones who walk the walk, my brothers and sisters, not those who talk the talk.
    Every bit of evidence ,all the stats, show that the devorce rate is no better within the church than without. . . I don't know what that tells you, but to me it speaks volumes!!!
    A good man or woman is a good man or woman all the time ,not just when they are under a roof with a cross above the door.
    Show me one word ,one verse in scripture, were anyone literaly claimed to be "Christian"
    "Christian" was a third party observation based on what others saw in those who they saw following the teachings of "Christ" There are situations that give me cause to pause. When the first words out of the mouth of used car salesman is; "I wouldn't cheat you "and any person's first words to me are;" I'm a christian".
    Claiming to be a christian and going to church don't make a man or woman a Christian any more than a Stetson hat and cowboy boots makes a man a cowboy or standing in a forest makes one a tree. . .
    It 's what they do that determines ones heart not what they claim, what they know, or what or who they claim they know.

    How sad would it be if you "momof4" would forsake the one God sent to you just because others who judge by titles and appearances say he is not a "christian"?????

    May God be glorified
    in your life
  10. THANK YOU!!!!Brother you took the words right out of my mouth!

    Momof4, while I am not saying that the bible is not true, because it does say we should not be unequally yoked, I also believe that doing the will of the Father is much more important than saying you're saved. Let's not forget that there will be many on that day who will say Lord, Lord and He will say depart from me for I never knew you. I always wondered what that meant and I personally think it is a matter of the heart, just like everything else in the kingdom. You see Jesus does not look at what a person does but rather at who he is in his heart. If this man that you have been seeing is a good man who loves you and your children and respects you and your Christian beliefs who is to say that God will not turn his heart, that is if he is not yet a Christian in his heart. The bible also talks about women "acting" Christian in front of the men not just "talking" Christian, and that is what will turn their hearts. My advice: Pray about this!! Be willing to terminate the relationship if God Himself tells you to do so, but not because people tell you. Just like brother Theophilus said, why miss out on a man that God Himself may have sent to you just because he does not outwardly profess to be a Christian?

  11. Thank you for the input

    I appreciate what you are saying - I guess that is how I was feeling when I originally came to this forum. I have had experiences with men who proclaim Christianity but I did not feel right about their actions and my family has endured a great deal of heartache because of those relationships. Now, I have met a man who is not a Christian and makes no claims of being perfect and have never felt pressured to go against my faith. Not just that, but his actions have shown me that what he does is genuine and that he genuinely tries to live a good life and do the right thing even when it is not easy for him. His family loves me and my kids and also encourage us in having a right relationship - hoping for marriage. Even after breaking off the relationship his family continues to be good to us and treat us well. I have remained friends with him - we talk on the phone and sometimes take the kids out to do things on the weekend. I have known him for over 2 years now so it's not like I can just cut him or his daughter out of my life - they have not done anything to deserve that.

    He is a pretty simple "country" guy type... has property, enjoys gardening, etc and sometimes raises animals for food as well as hunting and fishing. This is what I love as well. It seems hard these days to meet somebody who desires the same kind of simple life I want for my family. Neither one of us really want "new" things - I don't watch tv - he only watches the science & nature channel... same as me if I had a tv. Our dates consisted of things like attending "propagation" workshops to learn about gardening, we are both nature lovers and have educational background in this area. As we became friends I had thought maybe I could be a good woman to him & his daughter. Her mom has a lot of problems and he has taken on the bulk of responsibility raising her and needs a good woman in his life to help with the things he does not know how to do. He is a great guy but definately can use a womans influence in the home and in raising his little girl. I hope that makes sense... I guess I really fell in love with them both but I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with God. I will pray about things and see where it goes I guess. Please pray for us also - mostly I just don't want a repeat of the past in my life or my childrens. When I settle down with anybody I want it to be the person I know God has sent into my life.
  12. Momof4, these feelings that your having are not from God. God condemns those who marry a second time. He has reasons for this. He is looking out for your well being, that is why God tells us these things. I kind of realised why this is. He thinks that too many marriages will not be good. While everyone thinks that the more you marry, it is a new chance and a way to start over again fresh, God thinks that this will only make the experience less enjoyable. Second marriage will not be as great as the first marriage, and so forth with the third.
  13. I am not familiar with this

    Could you specify where this is stated in the Bible? I have never read anything about condemning a second marriage? I have been through Christian counseling and familiar with scripture - that if it is good for a person to be single than be single but if that person does not wish to be single that is better to remarry than fall into sin. I really struggled with these issues and was told that according to scripture it is okay for me to remarry if I choose to. My initial question was regarding a man who is not a Christian.

    I am not attempting to discount what you are saying but I am really not familiar with the condemnation of second marriage or not sure why I have never learned of this through pastoral counsel or otherwise. This is the first I have ever heard this.

    Does this mean that widows or those who are raising their children as single parents due to loss of the spouse are required to be single for the rest of their lives? I have met other families who have sufferred a divorce or loss of a spouse (loss meaning the spouse left the family, abandoned children, etc) - and who have been very fortunate to have found a second marriage and a spouse who steps in to accept the family. Finding another chance at love and a complete family has brought great joy into the lives of many men, woman and children. They thank God for giving them such a second chance at a family. Is this wrong?

    This is a hope I have had not only for myself but also for others. My mother passed away 8 years ago - she was a strong Christian woman. I remember her saying that if anything ever happenned she would want my dad to find somebody else - that she would want him to have another wife and companionship. I do not recall her ever mentioning condemnation of second marriage. My dad has been seeing a woman and I have been very happy for him and have seen the light start to come back into his life. I think it would be terrible for him if he had to remain single for the rest of his life and I am hoping he will be married again.

    There are many things wrong in todays world and there are many people who have gone into marriage for all the right reasons and truly desiring God's will but that end in divorce through no fault of their own. There are men who leave their families to practice homesexuality or to get out of parental obligations, for drug or alcohol addiction, etc. The remaining spouse is left to raise the children alone and has no control over what the other person has decided to do. I have never heard that scripture would confine people in such situations to a life without hope of another marriage. I do not understand this.
  14. I understand that you look out for him. I understand your concern. But this is why you should be concerned. You should be concerned for him if he wanted to marry again. Marriage is not the solution to being alone, or a way to say you love someone. You see, as a Christian you should not think this way, that you hope that he will be married again. As Christians, we think marriage should come once in your lifetime.
  15. Momof4, perhaphs you could look into it. Maybe investigate on it. I didn't mean to come out and sound very upfront, it is all meant in a good way. Though I do know as I've read in the bible many times that a woman or man cannot divorce, so to me this means that she obviously can not remarry.

    Ofcourse a person can, and will remarry. But this is God's advice, and as Christians, His advice is not an option.
  16. scripture or own interpretation?

    I was asking for the actual SCRIPTURE which states that God condemns a second marriage as you had stated this clearly in your first post not as your opinion but as Gods word. I do not know of any scripture which makes the same statement, unless you can provide me the verse? I was referring to 1 Corinthians 7 vv 8-16 regarding remarriage. I do get the impression you have strong feelings on this subject yourself and that is your right, but have not provided a scriptural basis for the statements made. There are many reasons a person may desire to or decide to remarry and I do not believe having that desire makes a person less of a Christian. To say that a Christian should not think that way or have that desire I feel is a bit judgemental and not backed up by scripture as far as I am aware.

    Also, your reference that as a Christian I should not be happy to see my dad remarry and that marriage comes only once in a lifetime? Where is this in scripture? That is what I am asking. Are you able to back these statements you are giving as God's opinion by scripture or is it your own interpretation or opinion?
  17. Just to follow up with you Mello on the previous post, I do not mean to come across the wrong way. I reread your posts and I see you make reference to marriage and I see that you are attempting to refer to the sanctity of marriage and if I understand right - that it is God's will that we marry as a lifelong commitment, not to be taken lightly. I agree with you on this and your reference to marriage is grounded in truth. I do not disagree with you on the point of marriage.

    My initial and subsequent postings have been regarding re-marriage, not marriage or divorce. An unfortunate truth is that not all marriages do last a lifetime. In the case of my parents - my mother passed at the age of 42. My dad (hopefully) still has many years left in this life and remaining married to my mother is not an option now or surely he would remain with her. Scripture indicates that it is acceptable to re-marry in such circumstances. I know my mother would support him in this and I will wish him the best and support him should he decide to do so.

    You had suggested I do my research though did not provide any scriptural basis. I have done quite a bit of research and soul searching regarding this and went through several years of Christian / pastoral counseling as I was not sure about these matters myself post-divorce.

    In the case of re-marriage after divorce, it is my understanding that scripture indicates it is acceptable for a person to re-marry if they choose to do so. They are not condemned for choosing to remarry or not to. This is not to say that it is okay to divorce or to divorce in order to be married again. The unfortunate truth is that there are numerous divorced people in todays society - many are Christians. Many did not want the divorce, initiate the divorce or commit acts that would legitimize a divorce according to scripture (adultery). In such cases it is my understanding based on scripture that these individuals may re-marry if they choose to and will not be condemned for this.

    If you have not met anybody in these circumstances you are fortunate. There is one story after another today of spouses leaving their families for various reasons that are very wrong..... there are many men, woman and children left wondering what happenned and in many cases reconciliation is not a possibility. Does scripture condemn those who choose to remarry? Does scripture say that it is un-Christian to desire companionship or marriage after a divorce or death of a spouse? Not that I am aware of.
  18. I did gather a passage from the bible. There was actually another one that I wanted to use. But here is this one:

    Mathew 191:6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
    8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
    10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

    Also look theres some information about divorce here in this link. Divorce - Gospel.com - Christian resources from over 300 ministries
  19. Thanks for agreeing with me by the way. What I tried to say.
  20. differring opinion / interpretation?

    I began this thread seeking Christian advice regarding a specific relationship. Not to debate things that are already done which I have already dealt with in my life and received sound Christian counsel on - based on God's word. Not to debate personal opinion or interpretation. I have not seen anything in your posts that addresses the original context of the thread here but the purpose of these posts seems to be to validate condemnation of the widows and divorced who choose to re-marry. If you would like to debate this topic in general maybe it should be posted in another thread as it does not address this thread?

    I am familiar with the verse you have provided, but again - this verse is speaking on marriage itself and the sanctity of marriage - of which I have already agreed and do not dispute - I doubt you would find anybody in this forum who would disagree regarding the sanctity of marriage.

    To express condemnation of other Christians who remarry or to call it un-Christian that I would offer my own dad support should he choose to remarry.... that is your choice but I am not convinced that this is biblical, sound, or anybodys opinion but your own. You have stated that this condemnation is Gods opinion but still I have not seen you provide any backup for this statement in the form of scripture.

    I beleive our God is a LOVING God and of course His will is for his children to remain in a marriage for life. But He is also aware of the world we live in and has provided a way for those who have lost a spouse or marriage in specific circumstances. It is not Gods will that we live under condemnation / bondage. As an individual I am aware there are varying personal opinions and biblical interpretation on these matters as well as a variety of other matters still debateable among Christians. I do not feel right about throwing around condemnation towards others and I do not beleive that is the attitude God wants from me as an individual. I cannot speak for anybody else. I will choose to continue to be a loving and supportive daughter to my dad and also to my friends and neighbors. In my own life, I have already struggled with questions on these issues and have peace in my own heart where I am today.

    If you would like to continue to discusss the remarriage / condemnation issue please start a new thread on this topic. I would like to keep this thread as it was. I have found some links to additional info on this topic but cannot post them here as I am new to the forum. Can send them some other way if you would like?

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