Rules for pre-teen girls clothing

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Mark, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. Rules for pre-teen girls clothing

    I have three girls and have wrestled with appropriate rules for my daughters' clothing. The difference between a secular society and Biblical values is growing. How do you handle this conflict?

    In addressing this do you ever refer to Scripture? Do you set "physical rules?" - no bellies showing, sleeves on shirts, etc. How do you explain modesty to a pre-teen?
  2. It is bathing suit season here in the US and this becomes an issue all over again. I would love to hear what others have set as expectations for their daughters.
  3. I wear things that are flattering on me and work with my shape, but nothing that would be considered inmodest. I feel that our bodies are for the glory of God. God made us just the way he wanted, I don't think he would be too pleased if he knew people were advertising what he made special. In my point of view it is only appropriate to show certain parts of yourself to your significant other. Because that is when you become one flesh.
    But just wearing clothes in general, out of respect I think their are certain places of yourself that you should keep to yourself. Because once again God made you special, use yourself to praise him! ;)


    Always ask yourself this question, is what I doing honoring God?
  4. A wise women of God once addressed a church group I was in and specifically told the ladies to spend a little time in the mirror sitting standing etc to see what others see- one of her points is that many men struggle in this area and not wanting to cause a brother to stumble should be an important factor- I tend to agree with her because I believe we are responsible for the signals we send to others. As a parent there are alot of styles that would simply neve rmake it past my wife or myself in my house- I give my kids plenty of room for expression but nothing imodest- it breaks my heart to see some of these children-and little girls in particular dressed up in something that looks like only hookers would have worn 20 years ago but just go to the mall or worse yet the beach- this is all those demonically possesed child molestors need to get them interested in someones kid- it is our responsability to draw the lines.
    This is a site I visit (click on purity at left).
    My almost 11 year old is a bit young to comprehend the site herself.
    Being taught at home, she is very protected, but I will tell you, she is exposed to the competition in girls' clothing, attitudes and behavior, of all places, church.
    I don't know you yet, or your circumstances, but the most important thing is to have a mother, or close relative to set a good example, first hand.
    Now, this is only my belief but I am very surprised to see the way girls dress at church.
    It really feels and appears to me that dressing to flaunt one's figure is acceptable everywhere, including the Lord's house.
    I will not let my daughter into that game.
    She will be separate from those who choose to dress that way.
    Don't misunderstand.
    She is allowed to be friends and never allowed to judge, but will stand apart in what we believe to right for a girl/young lady.
    Trust me, a girl can be very pretty and dress modestly too.
    I think my son is a catch in that he is intelligent, Christian, and handsome.
    And do you know what kind of girl he wants?
    A good Christian girl with self respect.
    He could have his choice of the pretty in the face girls who flaunt themselves through clothes, excess makeup and loud behavior, and he is not the least bit interested.
  6. Violet,

    I am thrilled you want to keep your daughter away from dressing immodestly. In a year or two it will take much more than "because I said so" and will take negotiating and a clear understanding of what modesty is and how your daughter will dress to create that modesty.

    So what are those "rules" in your family?
  7. Mark, yes, you are right.
    I have 3 daughters and I have taught them modesty from the beginning.
    My 2 oldest daughters have stuck with this too.
  8. Just a thought- a Pastor friend once told me " don't judge me by what my kids do and I won't judge you by what yours do" - I find these words to live by as sometimes despite the very best upbringing kids can really surprise and shock their parents- I am all for training them when they are young by both word and deed but sometimes we can be shocked at what desicisions a young adolesant can make.
  9. Thanks for the link Violet, it was very nice.
    I agree that girls should dress modestly and stand out to be different.
    This is a sign of respect towards ourselves and it's a good testimony to God too.
  10. I have daughters. They attend public school, and the fashion is jaw dropping to say the least. My wife and I came up with an easy rule for guiding their dress: Arms and Legs below the knee- One layer, Legs above the knee up to the bottom of their neck- two layers. If a dress is worn, same applies, but knee socks are to be worn so that there may be no accidental violations. When the girls get frustrated with their fashionable schoolmates, I remind them of uncle Sheffield who had two daughters that wore what they pleased. Sheffield passed four years ago, cardiac arrest. I pray that they take these lessons into adulthood with them.
  11. I thought immodesty was rampant in Michigan...

    Then I moved to LA :eek:

    Nearly every female - baby to senior - wears skin tight revealing clothing. It's really a battle for me to keep my eyes straight ahead!! I am not the type that "undresses girls with his eyes", but I don't even want to give the thought the oppurtunity.

    I think it's sad how many kids invite men to ogle them inappropriately. I think women's style 200 years ago was spot on ;) If I have a girl (and I hope I do), first off, I won't live in a big city, and secondly, she will follow a dress code close to atHISfeet's example!

  12. Yes, I do agree with you.
    No matter what a good job we have tried to do, they will exercise their independence at some point~
  13. You are a smart young lady!

  14. I believe women have a responsibility to not invite or encourage lust in men.
    I wish we dressed like women did 100 years ago!:eek:

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