Romance Before Marriage

Discussion in 'Bible Study' started by Polly, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. So, is it a sin to have a boyfriend before marriage? I mean that if 2 people fall in love with each other, do they have to marry at the same moment?

    And what about romantic kissing before marriage? Is that allowed?
  2. A direct Biblical response to your question without knowing any details or if it is about you.. Yes, it is a sin.. Christ said even a thought in our mind is equivalent to committing the act.. So even looking at a girl with lust (other than your wife) is a sin.. So anything romantic (kissing or whatever) is Biblically wrong.. And a sin..

    If I may add something relevant.. We need to realize that we all are sinners.. And we should not get into denial that I have not committed any adultery before or after marriage.. The truth is, every single person commits adultery.. No one can say they never looked at some TV ad or movie actress without some kind of lust.. That is a sin.. We all are guilty.. The important point is to realize our weakness, that we are in this sinful world and ask the Lord for forgiveness and strength to overcome.. He has made us overcomers and He also said "Ask and it shall be given unto you". Me and my friend used to talk about this a lot.. How to live a holy life? Not by following laws perfectly.. But realizing our sinful nature and being washed in the blood of Jesus.. And yielding to Holy Spirit to guide us in path of righteousness..
  3. What? Romance is a SIN? But how is that possible? Because if romance doesn't exist, we wouldn't be able to marry either... I don't understand anymore. :( But I refuse to stop being Christian... :(

    But I will become very depressed, and I am already depressed because I am still confused and I over-react a lot, and I am not sure if I committed the unforgivable sin by just saying and thinking bad things about and/or to the Holy Spirit intentionally but STILL accidentally because of confusion, over-reacting, anger and unhappiness. And I still repent ALL the things I've done, and I especially repent the bad things I said and thought on my mind about the Holy Spirit intentionally but accidentally, but I am scared if it's too late even if I repent... :(

    I just don't want any demons in my life, I had enough about the demons. The demons just destroy my life...

    But wait, if 2 people fall in love with each other, does it mean that they have to marry at the same moment? :O
  4. I really cannot comment on how someone should take it personally. Without knowing what's going on, I would be unable to apply it to anyone's life. I cannot be judgmental also. I just quoted what Bible says
  5. I just found out Bible verses where it says that a husband must love the wife, and the wife must love the husband, and I bet that's some romantic love. Where did you hear that romantic love is a sin? Or do you just believe that romantic love is a sin? No offence.
  6. Polly, you are playing. You cannot infer both an innocence to romance and sexual. You pull back when posters read sexual into what you put out as a trap. There is a big difference between love and simple lust. And given that your romance involves a fictional character - I'm not worried in that way about you. I am worried that you have unknowingly opened the door to evil in your life and this can only go badly for you, if you don't seek help for it. I pray for you because I sincerely want only happineess for you.
  7. What? Wait! I hope you are not trying to stop me from loving Severus Snape? I don't want to stop loving Severus Snape romantically! I want Severus as my husband. I don't want a boy of my age who is sometimes difficult like all real life men are. :( Please, I hope my romantic feelings for Severus Snape never fade away. Don't make them fade away, please. :(
  8. As you know, no one can force you to do anything. Let's see - you love a fictional character, who is a "bad guy", head teacher of the serpent house, Slytherin who is more than twice your age, who's only love was Harry Potter's mother. You have done "spells/rituals" to try to make him real. The phrase "careful what you wish for", I know will have no effect. I see danger for you and as I'm an ole bag :^), I know how these things tend to roll. I certainly don't see any happy there in the future for you. But I hope and pray there will be happy for you.
  9. I believe that courting is necessary before marriage. Light kissing, but not much fondling is ok. And absolutely no sex before marriage! I've been married for four years and not that I have succeeded at this, I truly do believe that it is the best way for any long term relationship. The old fashioned way to me truly is the best way. God Bless You! :)
  10. But if someone prays about me that I have to get a happier life, does that mean that God will make me forget Severus someday and make me focus on a real life man? Also, I only like men who are older than me, and Severus is only 35 years older than me, and I don't like boys under 35 years old because they are usually very immature and they only just think about sports and they just lust about women and they only want women with certain physical things, and they do things I don't like, and I am sure Severus would treat me well, and I don't do any spells or unChristian rituals anymore because I don't need spells or such rituals. And also, how do you know that you see danger for me even though I don't do any witchcraft, occult, or New Age things? Are you predicting? And I am happy when I love Severus Snape romantically. I would SUFFER if I have a real life male as my husband or boyfriend, because I am a person that is VERY tsundere when angry, stressed and/or annoyed that I can get so aggressive. If my husband or boyfriend annoys, angers, or stresses me, or does things I don't like, I am pretty sure I would have fights with him, yell alot, and even divorce. But Severus would NEVER do anything that I don't like, so I am sure that I would never divorce my Severus Snape Tulpa. Also, the Tulpa beings are only 100% imagination, and the risk about the Tulpae is that they can make doctors worry about me. There is nothing spiritual, occult, New Age, witchcraft, religious, paranormal or supernatural about Tulpae. But I will be happy even if Severus will be just imagination.
  11. Also, I forgot to say that I have a certain reason that why God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit let me love Severus Snape romantically, as in wanting him as my husband: if God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit wouldn't let me love him romantically, my romantic feelings for Severus would have ended immediately, and I would also have received signs that God, Jesus Christ, and/or the Holy Spirit would tell me that I have to stop loving Severus, but God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit NEVER told me to stop loving Severus romantically. Only Loki the Norse "deity" (Loki is not a demon, I would say that Loki is a malicious spirit) and the demons tried to stop me from loving Severus Snape romantically, they had a very huge obsession about trying to stop me from loving Severus Snape romantically because they don't want me to be happy.
  12. Oops, I meant that Loki is not a deity, and Loki might be a demon.
  13. I believe it all depends on the person.

    Before I became a Christian, I definitely gave myself away to men. I know that since I became very serious about my life with Christ, He changed a lot of my views on relationships and dating. Personally, because I know my weaknesses, I have certain boundaries in relationships. I'm not in a relationship currently, however. But if I ever do, I don't want to kiss right away. Does that mean I want to save my next kiss for my wedding ceremony? I'm not entirely sure, but I definitely want to wait a long time before I kiss the guy that I'm dating. I have rushed relationships with every relationship I've ever had with a guy....and it always ended up roughly. It hurt me and it hurt him, even though we both didn't realize it. The relationship always came to an abrupt halt.

    Is it a sin to have a boyfriend? I don't believe how it can be. You can't really marry someone without dating them first. Personally, I believe friendship is super important to have in the beginning. I've been best friends with a guy for a while, and just started to develop feelings for him in the past few months. I truly enjoy it, because we know a lot about each other just because we are best friends. And even if nothing comes from it, he'll still be my best friend. He'll still be a friend that I can turn to and where he can turn to me.

    You ask if two people fall in love with each other, do they have to marry? No. Because sometimes people have a distorted view of love. So just because two people are in love with each other doesn't mean it's a healthy love and that they're supposed to be together. Let's say a woman believes that a guy beats her because he supposedly loves her. That's a broken image of love. Love should be based on the love of Jesus.
    JG27_chili and Silk say Amen and like this.
  14. #14 Roads, Jan 9, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2014

    Here's something to consider, Polly. And, no condemnation at all. Let's just take a look at scripture and talk about it. I've noticed you have a few posts asking if one thing or another is "allowed." Consider:

    “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

    As I have progressed in maturity in Christ, I have moved away from the tendency to "make a list of the rules," so to speak. I would suggest that following God is not about deciphering the Bible to figure out what you're allowed to do, or what you have permission to do. It's more about submitting to God's guidance toward the best way to live, and continuing to leave behind everything that isn't the best. As this growth happens in your life, I think you'll find yourself asking questions like "how can I change my life to increasingly reflect the qualities of God?" instead of "what do I have permission to do that I think will lead to my own happiness?" or "how can I avoid suffering in my life?" So then, whatever we feel God "lets us do" is very different from what is the best thing for us to do. Again, no condemnation. This is just from my personal experience, learned through many mistakes of my own, so I pass on this advice.

    Here's another way of looking at it. I'll just pick an obvious example: say someone robbed banks. It made them really happy to rob banks. So they say, "if robbing banks was wrong, the Holy Spirit wouldn't let me feel happy through robbing banks, and besides, I've never received a sign from God that it was wrong. If it was wrong, I would have been given a sign." God may let this person keep robbing banks. But that doesn't mean he's living the way God wants him to live. It just means that God doesn't make us do things, and He allows us to make our own choices, even if those choices are detrimental. What God wants is for us to actively choose to seek the best way to live, not passively wait for signs that forcibly stop us from choosing detrimental things.

    Submitting to God's guidance means trusting He knows the best way for us to live, a way that's better that what we can achieve by trying to focus on what we think might make us happy. God doesn't promise a life without suffering, in fact, we should expect suffering. But suffering is not the end for us, it's just uncomfortable. God can teach us how to be strong to face suffering. If you feel too weak to face suffering, we can take comfort in what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Our hope in Christ is not that we won't suffer, but that where we are weak, we don't need to invent idealized realities to avoid suffering, but that we can bravely and confidently face all of life knowing that His power is made perfect in weakness. Again, no condemnation. It occurs to me that Severus Snape, to you, is your solution to the problem of the risk of getting hurt; but Jesus' power is the power to overcome. So then we should not be asking, "What can I do to ensure that I never suffer?" but "how can I learn to rely on God's power, so that I'm prepared to endure through suffering when it comes?" Have courage, and take hope in that.

    Jesus says to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." On marriage, God's not going to "make you marry someone." The Bible says if we choose to marry, we don't sin in doing so, but if we don't marry, we can focus more on serving God 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. Maybe one day you'll meet someone you want to have a relationship with, or maybe you won't. God says to seek His kingdom, not as a rule to follow out of fear of punishment, but because God knows the best way for us to live better than we do. My advice is this: instead of asking questions on this forum about whether or not you are allowed to do certain things, instead ask, "how can I seek God's kingdom first?" I think asking questions like that will lead you to answers to all your questions. It's a long journey, but we're all in it together.

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