Discussion in 'Bible Study' started by SueJLove, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. In Ephesians 5:33 it says that wives must respect their husbands. I looked up that verse on bible in the interlinear and it rendered this definition of respect: "fear, dread, reverence." So I began looking at various dictionary definitions of respect and reverence and I found that many of the definitions just repeated the same words over and over, such as respect, honor, reverence and esteem, but very few, in my opinion, really explained how practically one is to demonstrate such respect. I thought Webster's had the best definition of all. It explained it more in terms I could understand.

    "To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; to care for; to honor or value."

    So, I was wondering if you all would like to share your thoughts on what this word means and to also give some practical examples of how one can show respect to another, both to those worthy of respect and to those who we may feel, in the natural, we cannot respect (as in admire or esteem highly). I want to be one who is respectful of others, so I would appreciate you sharing your thoughts and ideas on how you think we can do this, in very practical ways. Thanks so much!
  2. Wish I could help you, but I don't think anyone has ever shown respect to me, not even my wife, who criticizes me pretty much on a daily basis.
  3. Would you like to define what you believe the Bible means here when it says that wives must respect their husbands? Also, what do you mean by criticism? People mean different things when they say that. For some, for instance, criticism includes teaching the truths of scripture, such as if we believe that we must die to sin and self each day and we share that from God's word, some people say we are just being critical and negative. What they want is to hear what is pleasing to their ears and that which never confronts them with their sin. Certainly I don't know you so I am inferring nothing here with regard to your situation, but I do know from many years of experience that we define things different ways and so sometimes it is helpful to look into the meanings of words so that we gain a better understanding of what they mean and how to apply them. Thank you for responding.
  4. Sue,
    In our flesh nature we have a Meistic <new word) perspective and mentality. After regeneration we do not do unto others for what will or might return to us, but............. we do unto because when we do we are doing unto God (Matt 25:40). I desire my life to be pleasing to Him and I know regardless of who might know or see my actions interactions or thoughts about others I can't hide from Him.

    I fall short of the mark!


    Take away the chains that bind me

    Take away things not of You
    Let me live for You only
    Let Your will be all I do

    In this world I feel so lonely
    In this world that is so cruel
    I find comfort in You only
    I am lost apart from You

    Show me the road I am to travel
    Light the path that leads to You
    Hold me close so I don’t wander
    Only You will see me through
  5. Respect to me I guess means to revere and is the best I can come up with.

    My wife is critical to me in the sense that I can never do anything right nothing that I say is ever correct and she is always taking the opposite side of the coin on things, even though I can show her that I am correct. She corrects how I speak and wants me to speak the way she does even though we are from two different parts of the country and have different accents and such.

    I know the above is correct because my mother-in-law lives with us and she sees what her daughter does and has tried talking to her but my wife dismisses her.

    I have accepted her for who she is, yet I do not get the same respect back. I'm not saying that I am perfect, but her mom has said that I am a good man and her daughter just cannot see that.
  6. Found these additional verses on the subject of respect:

    Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.
    Thank you for responding and for answering my question. I will pray now for your marriage.
  7. Peter, I agree. Are you sharing this as a practical way in which we can show respect, one to the other, i.e. To do unto others not for what will or might return to us, but because we are doing it as unto God?
  8. Fear in this case means respect, but perhaps more so than the way we usually treat the word. The husband/wife relationship is a picture of the Christ/church relationship. We are to fear (respect) Jesus, but not to be afraid of Him (1 John 4:18). I view this fear as a healthy respect, such as what a lineman would have for electricity. I also picture healthy fear as being afraid to do anything that would hurt the relationship. It is not respect in word only.

    When Paul says wives should fear/respect their husbands, and husbands should love their wives, I don't think he was limiting each's responsibility to these things. The wife should also love her husband, and the husband should respect his wife ( wouldn't be love otherwise). I think Paul focused on wives respecting and husbands loving because the Ephesians were having problems in these areas.
    SueJLove likes this.
  9. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I especially liked what you said about respect being a healthy fear of doing anything to hurt the relationship and also that respect is not in words only. I also liked and appreciated what you said in your second paragraph about how love and respect go hand-in-hand and that we each need to do both.

  10. Sue,
    The only thing about me that is pleasing to God is Jesus. It is all about Jesus........ I present myself a willing vessel that he may live His life through. I fall short but He contiues to shape a lead and reveal more and more of His will and Himself in my life. I pray I did not present a legalistic work to please God, apart from Him I can do nothing.


    I never knew love so true
    Till I knew love from You
    It's a gift given
    Not for what I do
    It's the gift of grace
    That comes from You
    Thank You
  11. You're welcome and thank you for the prayer. This has been an ongoing thing now for the almost five years that we have been married.

    It has gotten to the point now that her mom just told me that my wife has spoken to legal aid. I know that she has been looking for divorce for a while now, blaming our marital problems completely on me and never acknowledging her role in our issues. I have taken responsibility for my actions and sought help for my anger issues, which my MIL has said improved dramatically once my depression was treated.

    When even her own mother had tried talking to her about her behavior towards me in and out of the home, and she dismisses whatever her mom says, that shows there is a problem and that there is nothing I do that can help. I am not alone in saying this and have her other family members saying the same thing, she is acting selfishly in our marriage. She wants a divorce because she deserves to be happy, but she's not thinking about our daughter and soon to come son. She's not thinking about her mom who will be stuck taking care of two children and her daughter of she was two divorce me. She's not thinking about the impact it will cause on everyone.

    Yet she says that I am being selfish for wanting to stay in the marriage and that I am only thinking about me as I talk about others who will be impacted other than myself.
  12. Hoping this definition from Strong's add somewhat to the thoughts here:
    'to treat with deference or reverential obedience'.

    As a parent, I know how much easier it is to run a family when the children
    obey submissively. As wives, I think we make our husband's responsibility
    easier when we submissively 'help' him in his authoritative role as head of
    the family.

    This deferring, reverential obedience would also be what the believer is to show
    to Jesus, our head, I believe.

    (What are your personal thoughts, Sue...)
    SueJLove likes this.
  13. I think that this matter of what is meant by respect and how practically it is to be applied is debatable, controversial sometimes, and that there are many misconceptions as to what this means and/or to how we are to actually live this out in our daily lives. Again, I favor this defintion: "To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; to care for; to honor or value."

    If we look at the context of this passage of scripture in Ephesians we see the picture of Christ and his church being parralleled with the marriage relationship between a husband and wife. Yet, in a marriage between two humans, love and respect should be mutual, as there are other scriptures which teach mutual submission, love and respect for one another. I am not saying we are equals, for the husband has the responsibility to be the head, but in the same manner in which Christ is head of the church, which is in a loving, nurturing, protecting, giving, supportive and leadership role. Yet the husband should respect the wife, too, and she should love him, too, and he should be willing to yield to her at times, at least to thoughtfully regard her input as valuable and as worthy of consideration, which is respect. Jesus listens to us and he considers our requests and he wants us to bring our burdens to him, etc. So, he treats us with respect. We should treat one another as Christ treats us and as he asks us to treat him and others.

    So, that brings me to what I believe it means to respect others. I believe we should love and respect others in the same manner in which Christ demonstrates love and respect for us, and in a similar manner in which he requires we love and respect him. We should not treat each other as junk. We should not participate in snide or rude comments intended to put each other down. We should not be involved in character assassinations of each other or in slanderous remarks intended to make others look bad. We should speak the truth in love, though, in order to help one another grow in Christ. We should do so kindly, but never using flattery or lying to people just to make them feel good. We should never compromise truth, our faith or the gospel to make people feel good.

    Respect cares more about others than it cares about ourselves. It does not interrupt, assume what is not true, make false judgments about people or get down and dirty just to make a point. It listens to what others have to say, and it answers in truth but does so in such a way that it does not attack the person but the problem. It treats others like they matter and it shows them that you value them enough to listen and even to speak the truth because you care more about them than you do about what they think of you. It is not condescending but humble. And so much more. Basically Jesus is our model for how to show respect one for another. His treatment of the woman at the well is one of my favorites.
    Fadingman, Nanon and Silk says Amen and like this.

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