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Remarrying After Spouse Has Died ?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by little flower, May 5, 2013.

  1. I think we know from the Scriptures that it is allowed to marry again after your spouse has died.

    When Jesus was asked to which husband a woman who was married seven times would belong after the resurrection, He answered that "those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; for they cannot even die anymore, because they are like angels, and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection." (see Luke 20:28-36)

    So being allowed to marry again is one thing. But hoping to see the deceased spouse again after the resurrection, the remarrying person would confront his/her first spouse with a second one.
    Even when we will live "like angels", which I am so much looking forward to, we still would grieve our first spouse with the fact that we gave our love to another person.

    My question to you, dear reader, is the following:

    If you would be the deceased spouse, would you feel sad, disappointed, cheated and betrayed by your remarried spouse?

    Please excuse my imperfect English.
  2. I look at it like this:

    Mark 12:25
    For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.

    Galatians 3:
    26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
    27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
    28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
    29 And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

    These verses speak of our new bodies in the next life; our spiritual existence. There won't be any more earthly bondage

    Revelation 21:4
    And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away

    Your spouse in heaven will rejoice because a soul-your soul will be in heaven. Jealousy will be a thing of the 'former'.
    Mr. Darby likes this.
  3. Yes, Revelation 21:4 is one of my favorite verses. Thank you.

    A further concern is the question if a deceased spouse is able to look down to his /her living spouse.
    This includes of course the question if someone who dies will go directly to heaven - as it is assumed by Billy Graham for example - or if all the dead have to wait until a resurrection day whilst they are in a condition of 'sleep'?

    Should a person be directly transformed into his "spiritual existence", is it then possible for him to watch the living on earth?
    Or more concrete: does the resurrected spouse have to suffer the sight of his living spouse sharing her life with someone else? Does he see when she kisses someone else, ...?
  4. The nature of the relationship changes when one is in Heaven. The earthly marriage, which is a metaphor of Christ and the Church is replaced (or fulfilled) for the deceased spouse. Should he/she mourn and feel sorrow for having left the shadow behind and be jealous that the spouse left behind finds joy and gives joy to another, having himself/herself now entered into the fulness of what marriage forshadowed? There is no marriage in Heaven as we know it on Earth, as DRS pointed out, so there is no cause for jealousy. If a spouse is able to look down from Heaven and see the living spouse, their only "suffering" will be if they witness the living spouse being disobedient.

    See Romans 7:2-3. This is in the immediate context of divorce, but I think it also speaks to your question.
  5. Dear Rumely,
    thank you for your reply. Romans 7:2,3 is certainly the text which legitimates the new marriage of a widow/widower.

    Your and DRS's explanation would give me peace of mind if I would know that your statements are really proved knowledge. The conclusion that there is no cause for "jealousy" seems logical, yet I still fear that I could grieve my husband.

    Do you believe that the saved dead are watching us? Did they resurrect right after death, or are they 'sleeping' and waiting for resurrection?

    I appreciate your answer so very much.
    little flower
  6. It is my opinion from the scriptures that after death is the judgement and then eternity. Here's the crux of the situation: 'time'. Who's "time" is it? It's God's Time.

    God the creator created Time for us; does that mean 'time' itself does not exist outside of God? Does that mean God is restricted in 'time'. I think God uses 'time' as His schedule, He is not bound to time's constraints as we are-which I believe is clearly evident in scripture, the Spirit and by His power in creation.

    So many people people get hung up on the 'time' (when will will God do something) issue. The answer is simply this: Acts 1:7 "...It is not for you to know the times and the seasons, which the Father hath put in His own power."

    We know that we die.
    We know that after death, there is judgement of ALL souls.
    We know God will sort out the wicked and the righteous.
    The question is-do we KNOW God?

    I have seen it said there are two judgements-not going to argue this here; quite frankly what difference does it make after your dead? (Tell someone about Jesus Christ TODAY!) So what am I getting at with all this: In my opinion-the living soul of the dead body instantly gets taken to the throne for judgement on an eternal scale of time. We here on earth understand that there will be a "day" of judgement. I think that with God's power-we will be standing at the throne with all those who have died since the Resurrection that have been "sleeping" in our eyes until that day. With God it is instant-with humans it is 'waiting'. It is one of the mysteries of God.

    I do not believe the current dead have visibility on the happenings of the 'here and now'; it could be argued that they do-or at least some of them do. But I think for the average person they are 'asleep in waiting for the day of judgement' as we understand it. If they did-they would not be overly concerned with trivial matters of the flesh, but concerned with our spiritual 'heart condition'; whether or not we would be going to heaven or hell. If they 'see' what's going on in our present 'time' while in eternity-I believe there would be much weeping for those souls being sent to the outer darkness. Those in eternity are in the presence of the Lord.
    little flower likes this.
  7. Matthew 22:22-30 and the parallel account in Mark 12:18-25 record Jesus' own words on the subject. The point being that marriage between a husband and a wife is a type and a shadow of Christ and the Church. When one spouse dies, that Earthly relationship is no longer in effect. One spouse has come into the substance of that which marriage typifies. The Earthly bond of marriage is no longer in effect. That spouse's emotional needs are completely met in Christ, with no veil or frosted glass of mortality between them and Christ, so there is no cause for them to be jealous of any relationships formed on Earth.

    If those who have gone on to Heaven are able to watch what's going on here, a point about which there is some disagreement, they are watching with eyes that are beholding the Glory of God with a clarity impossible on Earth. They do not look upon the events of Earth the same way we do who schlep about here in our mortal bodies with our mortal concerns. If our behavior does not dishonor God, it would not cause any of those with Him dismay.
  8. Dear Rumely, does that mean that my dear husband is no longer my husband?
    Does it mean that the love we shared, our memories, our life, that everything is distraught?
    Does that really mean that there is nothing left here on earth? Not even the love he said would never end?
    I simply refuse to believe that.
    I am sorry, but I can't believe that. It would be horrible!
  9. Dear Rumely,
    I want to apologize to you.
    I did not mean to shout at you.
    You are right. I am stupid.
    I know that I "have left [my] first love." (Rev. 2:4)
    God must always been loved more than any husband, child, mother or father.
    With my wrong attitude I rejected Jesus once again.
    But I still will keep the picture of my avatar, because I asked Him to forgive me and hope to become His small friend again.
    I believe what you wrote, dear Rumely. Please forgive me.
    Love, little flower

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