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Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Christine, Mar 4, 2011.

  1. I was watching 100 Huntley Street and they were discussing relationships and how women tend to go to relationships with men after another, since it makes us feel like we have value. ie: "you're beautiful", "you have a great personality", etc. Whatever makes us feel like we're wanted. The women gave a really good example of an analogy of having a broken foot:

    If you broke your foot, the sensible thing to do is to put it in a cast, levitate it and let it heal. You could take pain killers to lessen the pain and walk on it again, but then you are doing more damage to the foot and don't feel it. It is the same with our hearts. It needs to heal the same way a broken limb would need to heal.

    I have a bad habit of getting into another relationship right away because I very much dislike being alone. I have 2 friends; one I don't like to hang around for too long because it's really awkward - he likes me and yet he loves his girlfriend of 7 years. The other lives in Alberta for the time being, she plans to move back home to Saskatchewan. Otherwise I would be regularly hanging out with her and her daughter who loves me so much! That little darling [​IMG]

    I would just like to have a guy I could talk to about anything with, but most importantly read the Bible with me and not feel embarrassed about it. To know God is and always will be Number One in our lives and to never place Him second. To know that He comes first in everything we do. Unfortunately, I can't find anyone like that. I've put myself on Plenty of Fish and have found some Christian guys, but they never ever speak freely about God! I've posted it very clearly on my profile exactly what I am looking for in a Christian male and yet I feel like that part of me isn't being read.

    Am I wrong to seek such a partner in life? I can't have kids and don't plan on adopting since both of my sisters have sons and whoever else I may get involved in may also have nieces/nephews. I would just like to share time with God in a relationship. Is there no such thing?

    I'm also having a hard time with a verse:
    Isaiah 54:5-8
    For your Maker is your husband,
    the Lord of hosts is his name;
    and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
    the God of the whole earth he is called.
    6 For the Lord has called you
    like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
    like a wife of youth when she is cast off

    I thought He is our Father, what happened to that?
  2. No Christine your concerns and questions are perfectly normal. You want a mate. It is God's plan that men and women should be mated to one another. Searching for a Godly man is the proper thing to do. There have been others who have asked how could you give yourself up to God when you have a mate in your life. I say it ispretty easy. I hold up two finger on my one hand. I say this is you and your mate. When the fingers are spread apart, they are individually weak. I squeeze the fingers together, and say, now they are stronger. Then I wrap my other hand around the two finger representing God. Now the two fingers are powerful. You can have God first in your life even if you are married. What does God really ask us to do? Love him? Obey His laws? Keep his commandments? Live a decent wholesome life? Honor him in everything you do? How is that not compatible with being married? God will never ask you to do anything that would be harmful to you. Those who choose to be celibate, become a priest or nun in a religious order that demands they be unmarried, is a personal choice. I can't imagine God telling anyone "Thou shalt live alone."
    When you find that Godly man, hang on to him. Because chances are, God has put him directly in your path to find.

    Bless you, kiddo.
  3. Thanks for hearing my concerns. I really liked your analogy about the two fingers and it made sense. I don't know how I got lost in not seeing the big picture on what God wants for us. You're also right on the "Thou shalt live alone." In all of my readings not once did I read him saying that. Now I remember what He had said to Adam and Eve, "Be fruitful and multiply." Though, I don't plan on multiplying anything, I do want to be fruitful in my relationship with my mate and especially with God.

    This certainly makes me feel a lot better. Thanks again!
  4. You are welcome Christine. Speaking to that quote from Isiah, I believe that people misunderstand the metaphors concerning the role of God the Father. I look at the relationship of God to his people as a nuclear family. God is the father, the church as a spiritual philosophy is the loving wife/mother figure, and congregation are the children. Again, outside of one passage from Corinthians there is no reference in the Bible concerning not seeking a mate. Like I said, marriage is one of the most pushed ideas in the Bible. If it was not for the institution of marriage our society would collapse. God knows what he is doing. If he did not want a joining of bodies to create life, He would have made us reproducing asexually. It is the strength of the family, with or without kids, that is the real moral fabric of our world. To live in a good, respectful, honest God loving marriage pays the Lord the greatest homage.
  5. Thank you Christine for posting this and Seeking for your comments. This is a very relevant topic for myself and I praise God that He has that person out there for you Christine. The two of you as one, with God holding you together...I love the description Seeking.
  6. Thank you for your posts! :)
    I understand the meaning of Isiah and thinking like a "nuclear family." That makes much more sense!
  7. Isaiah 54:5-8
    For your Maker is your husband,
    the Lord of hosts is his name;
    and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
    the God of the whole earth he is called.
    6 For the Lord has called you
    like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
    like a wife of youth when she is cast off

    Christine, there is much more to this passage. I just though you would want to work a little more through this. Look here, the entire passage is sometimes called The Fertility of Zion. However if you read it, it looks like the Lord is speaking to women who were widowed and childless. I take the passage to mean, "OKAY, you lost your husband, you have no kids. But God loves you, take comfort in Him, you shall bear no shame for what has happened and you will be alright". That is one heck of a paraphrase huh?

    1"Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child;
    Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed;
    For the sons of the (B)desolate one will be (C)more numerous
    Than the sons of the married woman," says the LORD.

    2"Enlarge the place of your tent;
    Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not;
    Lengthen your cords
    And strengthen your pegs.

    3"For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left
    And your descendants will possess nations
    And will resettle the desolate cities.

    4"Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
    And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;
    But you will forget the shame of your youth,
    And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

  8. Yes, I've read the chapter, but I still didn't get it. Most likely because I haven't read the OT, I'm reading the NT first and then the Old.
    So, in my understanding, He is calling those women of that time to be with Him? I'm trying to fit what you said to the verse.

    Is this saying to rejoice for having no children so that she may have more faith and learning of His word?
  9. In the OT days, if a woman lost her husband and had no children to look after or provide for her, which probably happened more than we would think, she was often considered a burden on the tribe. She would be cast out or forced to live in destitution on the sympathies of the other tribe members. The way I see this is God telling the worried women that although they had no children of their own, all the children of the nation are theirs. That is a round about way of the Lord telling everyone else to take proper care of these widows. That not to fear the loss of a husband because the Lord is with them. To me it is God setting down the law to everyone to look after women in this situation. A sad but real example is the way some of the extremist Islamic sects treat unmarried/widowed women. They are not allowed to work to support themselves, so they are forced to beg, they can not go out to buy food if they have money because they have no male relative to escort them. This is in many ways a casting off of a worthless chattel, or in other words letting them die. Since those people pretty much live in 1000 BC, this may be exactly what God was stopping.
  10. Oh wow... what a harsh reality. I had no idea it was like that back then. It makes me want to learn more about our History and learn His way of what should be done. Thanks for sharing that historical piece. :)
  11. When you read the messages the Lord was setting down to the Nation of Israel, and then look at the historical times, it is pretty clear that God was telling the people how to clean up their act. From the way He wished them to worship him, behave towards each other and strangers, and how to stay healthy. The cleanliness standards that God set down early in the OT make tons of sense. Simple things like you touch something unclean, go wash your hands in running water. Or if you must handle dead animals or people, wash your cloths and go take a bath. I found it interesting that in Leviticus the Lord is even telling them what to do with a house that makes people sick. Pretty smart guy our Lord. He gave the Israelites what was needed for them to rise above all the other nations including controlling disease. The best I can say about people in those days is they were pretty much barbaric tribesmen and the Lord gave them what they needed to break the chain of barbarism.
  12. No, you are not wrong for wanting a man that you have dreamed of or perhaps a man that has the same hobbies like you. That's your ideal man, so there's nothing wrong with it. I hope that someday, you will find the man that you are looking for and hope that you will be able to meet him soon. Always keep on praying to God as He's always watching over us and guiding us. God bless!
  13. Thanks for your post :) For the time being I've decided to stop looking and just concentrate on God. If He wants me to be with someone then He will guide him my way in His time.
  14. Plenty of fish...hah LOL. I don't kow if this thread is old or what,but a couple of websites I know of are: christiandatingforfree.com,Chstianmingle.com,Christancafe.com . You can chat for free@ the first one

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