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Relationship Problems Please Help

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by paulmcd7, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. We both just started college I am at Penn state Erie she's at Grove City Christian college about an hour south. When we met, we met because of our shared belief in abstinence until marriage. As time went on we started to fool around some and now that she is in a new Christian environment she is completely overwhelmed with guilt for what we've done to the point where she can't wear her purity ring in confidence anymore. As of Sunday, we started a break to find ourselves and get closer to God. I've realized I haven't been putting God first in my life and I'm working on that now, but I love this girl so much and I can't lose her, especially if the reason I l ose her is because I'm the one that always initiated the fooling around and taking it to the next level if you will. We both want to get back to the way we were the beginning of our relationship and be proud that we were abstinent and be confident in saying that we don't partake in any sexual acts. As a young couple this is very hard, but I'm hoping someone here has been through a similar situation and can give me guidance as to how I can cope with this on this break and what we can do to make our relationship stronger and healthier, and ultimately get back together. I've been praying a lot, but these past few days have been so hard for me and I don't know how I'm going to manage a few weeks at the shortest before I found out if we can get back together or not. Any help is greatly appreciated.
  2. Hi Paul

    The problem is that you have been together for 3 years and not gotten married or even engaged. God would be more concerned if there was no sexual attraction / resisting temptation after 3 years of effectively 'dating / courting'.

    My advice would be for you to sit down and make up your mind as to what your full intentions with her are. If you want to marry her, do the Christian thing and get engaged. If you don't, end the relationship immediately and be honest with her. An engagement will immediately bring yours and her true feelings to the surface. If she says she is too young for engagement and after a year or so, marriage, then make a decision to stay close friends, see it as a clear indicator that she is not ready for anything physical either! Draw proper boundaries in this case. NO time alone together behind closed doors or in a car somewhere.

    Don't let college influence your relationship. You can study and date at the same time! When people use college as an excuse they are assuming you are worldly and will be distracted with fornication and her emotional carnality at the time you have to write exams (I had that). You can be lucky she is a Christian who does actually love Jesus, hold onto her!!

    Good luck! Praying for you!
  3. Almost all couples struggle with this. God solution is to get married and enjoy. 1 Corinthians 7:9 (NIV)
    9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

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