Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by SLEEPYKOALA, Dec 28, 2007.
I think he still likes you and is interested in you. Having said that, he's not convinced that you are completely right for each other. I don't know him but to me that's an indication that he takes marriage very seriously and doesn't want to marry unless he's sure. I would just be his friend and expect nothing more, I think that has a better chance of convincing him than anything.
Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you can make. If both parties are not totally sure it would be a terrble mistake. Perhaps it is better to take your time and see how things work out.
As hurt as you may be it is much better to find out now than after marriage!
That would hurt far worse and make your life unbearable~
I am sorry you hurt though.
God works things out in His way and in His time, sometimes in ways we never could imagine.
The replies on here so far are very good replies
I'm in total agreement with what you've seen on here so far.
I've been told by Christian men that if a man is really interested in you He will let you know it. Sounds like this man honestly answered your question. It would seem best for you to only work with him if what you are doing is something you feel led to do for the sake of Christ. It's important to be led by God. If you have any selfish reasons for helping this man it is wrong. God does not inspire people with selfishness. See the book of James to read what I am talking about.
lool im not so sure
It depends, some are very shy and some are outgoing.
marriage is about the person not there look.there is yor treasure.
He'smylord, this is not the only area I am serving in at church, I love serving. I am just wondering if he wants me to serve with him to get to know me better or there really is no hope for us romantically. I am just looking for some honesty, even if it turns out to be the answer I don't want to hear ! He told me that he only wants to date somebody he wants to marry. In the same conversation he asked me if I vieved dating for recreation or for people with serious intent on marriage. Thanks for your advice he'smylord.
What was your reply to his dating question? I've been on both ends of this situation, and in my experience, there seem to only be two logical reasons for his actions that you have told us about.
The first would be that he is protecting himself.He at first wanted to get to know you and now he doesnt seem so interested,right? He was/is lying when he said the two of you were incompatible and has actually fallen for you to a point that has caught him off guard, and this either scares him or he feels it is too soon for such feelings so he has made an effort to shut those feelings down,or curb them. By limiting his exchanges with you common pleasentries, he is protecting himself from exposing himself or giving more of himself to you than he is ready to give right now. You two see each other a bit, and hemay feel the only way to avoid slipping up is to stand still. In other words, he can only avoid revealing his true emotions, by not expressing them at all.
The second is he is protecting you. He has been honest with you, possibly to the furthest extent that he knows how, and you are still telling him you have feelings for him? There's nothing wrong with that as you were being honest with him. Just don't remind him of this everytime you talk to him. He heard you. He doesn't want to lead you on by being as open and intimate with you, so he may feel that the only way to keep from giving you false hope, is to basically stop talking to you. The less opportunity there is for him to say something misleading to you, the less it will happen, and right now, you seem very open to misinterperting his actions, due to your hope for things to go back to the way they were. He may have asked you to work on his team, because you are the right person for the job,regardless of what has happened between you two. Or he may have just wanted to be nice and show you that he doesn't hate you, and hopes that you will see that things are different and you will begin to accept it and you two can still be friends.
You can ask him which one of these two explains his actions and he may or may not tell you the truth. He may just tell you what he feels will hurt you less or expose him less. Regardless, he has shown you the level of relationship he is comfortable with right now. Every time you push him beyond his comfort leve, you run the risk of putting a wall between you two. My advice would be to pray for God's guidence in the matter. Say nothing beyond friendly chit chat, unless God moves you to. Marriage is a gift from God, and when He is trusted to be the match maker, instead of ourselves, the result is better than we can ever imagine, or achive on our own.