Recovering From Rejection Or A Break Up Or Friendship Ending

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jmilly, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. I have such a hard time getting over a relationship (whether it be friendship or romantic) that I want to look to God to help me with this. In fact, sometimes I think that it's wrong how much time I spend dwelling on this stuff because it distracts me from focusing on God. It's almost like I spend WAY more time thinking about these guys (or friends) and not God that, I know God is a jealous God that maybe this other person BECOMES my God. It replaces God for me based on how much time I think about it, and how much I want that relationship or I want that friend back. It's almost like I think if things were better with that person, my problems will be solved. Ok I don't really think of it explicitly like that, but that's a good summary of what is going on I guess.

    Even relationships that are IMPOSSIBLE. For instance the guy I was dating before I moved away. I haven't even been in the same city as him in over a year, and the last time we talked was like 3 years ago! He moved to the opposite side of the country even farther away than before. I'm not actively trying to get with him, but I still think about him sometimes.

    And recently it entered my subconscious! I had a dream about this other guy I dated briefly, who i KNOW is wrong for me. In the dream he was really kind to me and it was quite pleasant. I haven't spoken to that guy in a year. I wasn't even thinking about him, yet he entered my subconcious.

    Sometimes I think that if I just "let these people go" and focus on God, only when i TRULY let go, will he reward me with a good relationship. Not that I necessarily think he's "punishing" me right now... but it's something like that. It's sort of like things are on hold until I can just let these old relationships go and trust that God is either letting us take a break / ending the relationship for good for my own good. Maybe if I trusted God more with my relationships, maybe some of the people that are so important to me will come back into my life in a few years. Maybe right now we need to be apart for some reason. And i shouldn't force it. And maybe they were meant to leave my life forever, and I should be ok with that too. But when I "force" things or pester these people (which I personally don't intend to do, but in essence that's what it seems like to them), the relationships become even more irreparably damaged.

    Does anybody have any stories to share about this topic? Have you had experience with this? Have you had any situations in which you wanted to hang on to a friendship / relationship that wasn't working for whatever reason, and you finally let go and then out of nowhere they came back to you?
    I know phrasing it like this sounds like Im not truly letting go. But i'm just asking! is that even possible? There's one person who I really miss and there's nothing i can do but give the person their space. But I'm so sad at the thought that i may never see them again. this was a very positive person in my life. but they do not want to speak to me right now.
  2. Also - Facebook makes this process even more difficult for me. I think if Facebook and all these other social media sites that kept us all "connected" didn't exist, I'd be able to move on a lot more easily. I didn't really have this much of a problem when i was younger, before facebook. I was much much better at moving on. When i have facebook, i just keep looking at people's photos and "stalking them". additionally, it messes stuff up : for instance: in an effort to move on, I defriended a guy after we broke up, and he got hurt and we could've been on a friendly basis if it wasn't for that. but he thinks I'm a total jerk.
  3. I tend to never keep friends. I don't have any friends currently that I would call to hang out or anything. So, I guess physically I have no friends.

    I don't remember if I mourn the loss of friends. It's been a while.
  4. Try cutting back on Facebook. It's pretty boring anyways. Just do like a test and don't use Facbeook for a little while and see how you feel.
  5. I'll do that for sure. but i'm more interested in people thoughts on the other part of my post... have any thoughts about letting people go? and focus on God? what happened?
  6. I 100% believe that if you completely focus on God you will experience a joy you have never experienced before. God knows the desires of you heart, focus on Him and trust in Him. What's the point in spending so much effort in finding a friend, or boyfriend? What do you expect to gain from these people that God can't give you?
    God is Love likes this.
  7. ok.. why? lol :)
  8. We always tell Mitspa our dreams.
    jmilly likes this.
  9. I like snowboarding by myself, going to the movies by myself, going into the wilderness and camping by myself.. I wouldn't mind having some friends, but I'm fine either way. I'm basically kind of like a hunter gatherer, like what they taught us in social studies class.
  10. You do? :eek:
  11. The important ones. I would not waste your valuable time with the insignificant ones.
  12. You are supposed to analyze my dream, apparently. it's described in the post above but I'll elaborate. I had dated this guy a couple years ago, but he was only interested in casual hooking up. I wasn't. Needless to say, we wanted different things and we didnt date any more. but i had to see him all the time. he started talking about me to people, i think mad because i didnt give him what he wanted. in my dream he was nice to me and i was waiting for him to give me a ride to an interview. lol. he even let me stay at his place while i was in town for my interview. i don't think that would happen in real life, lol

    seriously though... the dream doesn't even matter. i shouldn't even be thinking about him! i know it's a blessing i no longer have to see him.
  13. Im not sure if the dream is from the Lord? Maybe its just a dream that is showing you that things are at work to your advantage and even the people you see and have met in the past are for a purpose? I am glad you honor the Lord with your body and would suggest that you continue to trust Him and walk in sincerity and good conscience and things will work together for your good...:)
  14. I don't know what my deal is. I've never had friends. I guess I'm fine without them but it's weird. I guess most people have friends. Isn't that the way it works?
  15. Find a part time job where you have to cold call.
  16. Ok thank you, but let's forget about the dream. I didn't mean to distract from my main question. Speaking of which, do you have any stories to share on this subject? ever have trouble letting go of a relationship, and then trusting God, and what happened?
  17. Yes. Then once I let go and trusted in God, everything was better.
  18. Sure...I am a single and thought a few years back that I had found the girl for me? She was a young lady who really struggled to put away the "old man" and at some point it became clear to me that I had to walk away. It was very painful and I had to spend much time in prayer to draw the strength I needed to do that which I knew I had to do.
    KingJ likes this.
  19. You've got friends. Trust me :)
    Huntingteckel likes this.

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