I don't really understand why, but I finally feel like I'm actually saved, and that God loves me. It took me so long to get here it seems, but really it was about a year or so and then a few months of me cracking down and really figuring out what it meant to be a true Christian. As well as listening to all of you and reading the word. Not just verses, but chapter bu chapter. I believe it has to do with me ministering and praying for others. I find myslef praying for people before myself lately and I truly feel like God is answering those prayers. I've seen it happen before my very own eyes. I am so haooy what God has been doing in others lives as well as my own. Question: did you feel saved right away or did it take some time? Now the Lord hasn't given me riches. He hasn't given me a plethora of friends. However, he has given me inner peace and a sense of love that I have never felt. Even on my loneliest days, I feel surrounded by his presence. The only problem, is my ED. I am still struggling with it terribly. I have come to the conclusion that if I had never had this, I may have not depended on God the way I do now. I believe that God has taught me humility through this, but it's time to move on. I understand I have an addiction and I don't know how to get rid of it. For reasons I would rather not explain, I cannot get into treatment and I refuse to go into treatment I am doing other avenues for treatment but I'm not going to do the traditional treatment center. So I just ask that you guys continue to pray for me to overcome this. I know that God will heal me, I guess I'm just trying to understand why its not happening sooner. Thank you.