Question on faithfulness~

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by violet, Aug 14, 2007.

  1. Question on faithfulness~

    Is it possible to be unfaithful in a marriage if one has never committed adultery?
  2. I'm not sure where the reference is exactly, but Jesus Himself said that if a man looks at a woman in an impure way he has already committed adultery with her. That particular verse really gives me the ebee-geebees, but I really think that this, like everything else about our walk with the Lord, is a matter of heart. I really don't think that if a man sees a beautiful woman and finds himself attracted to her for a second, but realizes what's going on, diverts his eyes and repents that he has committed adultery. I believe that happeneds when that same man dwells on the image and fills his heart and mind with thoughts of what would be like to be with her and finds himself no longer being attracted to his own wife and wishing she would either be that other woman or at least look like her. I really think there is a fine line we all must walk and the biggest, most wonderful thing that God has given us to help us in our walk is the power and privilege of repentance! My opinion!;)

  3. Laura, I think you explained that very well!
    I think if you were not correct that many, many men would be guilty of adultery already~
    Thank you~

  4. ... And women... And that's all I'm going to say about that!;):rolleyes::D:p

  5. Laura, you are right. I should not limit this action to men!
  6. Matthew 5:28 . . .

    But I say unto you,
    That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her
    hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

    I believe this also applies to women who looketh on a man to lust after him.
  7. Amen sister!:amen: Than you for the reference!

  8. You're welcome. :)
  9. I agree with the fine line theory! Sometimes I think it's a question of how much intent is there too. If a man looks at a woman for a second and thinks whatever thoughts he will but then moves on, no harm done. If he looks at another woman and not only thinks those little thoughts but starts thinking about how he can actually make those happen, then he has crossed the line. I think taking a quick look is harmless (or even a long look) as long as it's JUST a look.

    (And reverse all of that..change man to woman and woman to man because I also think it goes both ways!)
  10. I've additionally heard that there is such a thing as "emotional cheating", which is sort of like binding yourself to another, even though you aren't getting "physical". My wife left me for a guy she was emotionally involved with, but they were not physically engaged.
  11. I am sorry for the pain you must have endured brother Banarenth. Sometimes we forget that it's the little foxes who spoil the vine and even one step in the wrong direction can lead us on a path of terrible price- In His Name and with His Love brother Larry
  12. Ban, I am sorry to hear that but I appreciate you sharing this, in order to offer us some facts~
  13. Wow! So sorry to hear this Banarenth. Praying for healing of your broken heart.

    :pray: :pray: :pray:
  14. absolutly! Emotional infidelity is real and is usually the beginning of the physical. It begins when one person says something of a complaint about their spouce to a member of the oppisite sex. The person replies kindly and listens to them. Eventually the other person shares something about their wife or husband and it has begun. There are many variations on this, of course, but it usually happens to a close friend, or someone at work, or any place where they spend time together. They become closer and begin shareing things to each other, and thinking nothing is wrong with it, they are just friends. Keep in mind that thei mates will know nothing. It will continue for some tme and usually the woman,(because they are usually much more intune to emotions) begins to believe that this person "knows" them better, that understands them better, than their husband. They can share anything with this person! They begin to believe that they do not love their husband. He is the unkind, un feeling, uncapable of understanding them person. All the while their husband knows nothing! There are many christian web sites and secular web sites dealing with this form of cheating.
    For a marriage to really succeed, there must not be this draining of intimacy out of the bonds of marriage. Remember this is not couseling, it is shareing intimate things with an outsider (even a christian friend). Marriages need intimacy, the complete shareing of each other with each other. Intimacy should not be drained away from the marriage.
    As I said before, this cheating starts before physical cheating. Most women would NEVER have sex with someone that they are not emotionally connected to!

    There are many marriages broken due to this, even though there was nothing physical that happened.
  15. Hi Dale and welcome.That is very sad indeed and I have seen it happen.
  16. Dale,
    You couldn't be more right.........If only I had known this a year ago.
  17. Absolutely true, I am facing the exact situation right now. That is why it is so important to keep marriage rooted in the Lord. I know that when there is a lack of communication in the marriage it is easy to swept into "emotional" adultery and that does ultimately lead to "physical" adultery.
  18. I agree! Very much so, actually! Here are very good examples of why emotional and mental connection between spouses is sometimes much more important than sexual connection! I have heard of both sides. Times when there was great sexual connection, but no intimacy and times when there was plenty of intimacy but no physical connection! There are both important for a marriage to work and this is why I think it's paramount that man and women make a real effort to truly understand each other and each other's particular needs, because they are so varied and complex! I think understanding your mate's personality for instance, what makes the tick and what bothers them is one way to reach intimacy between people! My opinion anyway! I don't make it a doctrine because the Lord can bridge any gap, but I do try to study the different personality types a lot so that I can understand better not just my husband but my friends and my children! Just an idea!:D

  19. I completely agree that you don't have to lust for a person physically but emotionally can be just as damaging.

    I just finished one of my daily site devotionals/Fod for thought... I hope that it can be of benefit for someone here:

    Communication is key to a thriving and good marriage, or to any relationship in that matter. If you do not have compassion for each toehrr during the beginning of your unity, the marriage can fall apart like a ton of bricks... literally. It has the same effect on the mind, body, heart, soul and spirit. If you do not work together to understand each other, you won't make it. How can you have a marriage without goals? How can you have a marriage with you love? God is love? Therefore how can you have a marriage with God at the heart of it. God is like the glue between you and your spouce, if God isn't there, there is no unity between you two.

    I would keep going but then you all would have a book on your hands...

    God bless,
  20. Might I also add that ANY relationship based on sexual desired is bound to fail, reguardless of how much you desire the other.

    Sex is something that God gave us. He gave it to us so we may have a union with our spouce like no other. Something completely special between a man and woman, and no one else.

    I do not know what it is like to be fully in the presence of God in Heaven, I do not see how many on earth can, but I can imagine that complete union with Christ and God would be closer than any spiritual, emotional, mental and physical closeness that we can have here on earth in our present bodies.

    God bless,

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