Question for the guys:

Discussion in 'College and Youth' started by littlemohican, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. I'm a young christian woman. Recently have gotten involved in a new church, and there is a young man who I have noticed some wonderful qualities in. Basically he meets my criteria of being someone I would go on a trial date with. (I have a strange dating system because I don't want to waste my time on men who are not on the same page as me spiritually)
    Anyway, I recently have become disabled, possibly permanently, it is unsure yet because they have not been able to diagnose what exactly is wrong with my brain. I have uncontrollable muscle movements, very similar looking to sever Parkinson's.
    I know I'm not bad looking, I'm not a super model but I'm average.
    Being a shaking disaster probably takes away from that a bit haha.
    Back to my point though, this young man has recently started talking to me and being very sweet etc, etc.
    My disability problem started soon after I started going to this church so it's hard for me to tell if this is just someone being nice because I'm disabled, or if he's maybe interested.
    Usually I can tell, but this time I don't know because my circumstances are so different.
    Any pointers?

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  2. Hi littlemohican,
    Pointer #1 talk to the gals here..they have more experience dating guys than the guys here have.
    Pointer #2 what is it about this new church that you find attractive... could your neurological condition be in any way linked to the direction this church is taking you?
    Pointer # 3 If this guy is interested in you for yourself, he will in time ask you to spend a bit of time with him so you two can get to know each other better....(ask you out on a date.)
    pointer # 4...same as pointer #1(y):)
    KingJ, Ravindran and Blessed4JC says Amen and like this.
  3. It's sometimes difficult to differentiate when someone is being nice or if they like you, so my advice would be to start talking to him. Initiate a conversation and go from there. :D
    chili likes this.
  4. Girls are free to give advice, I just thought guys might have a better understanding of his intentions:)

    I started going to this church before the condition appeared. I was attracted by how heavily the church focuses on scripture and how I didn't feel like there was a lot of legalistic red tape so to speak. I have had bad experiences with church legalism.

    Thanks for the advice I appreciate it:)

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  5. littlemohecan you seem to have a good attitude to life and your personal situation......that is a big plus point for you IMO.
    You might consider petitioning one of the administrators to move this thread to the "Marriage and Relationships" board as that would be more appropriate for your thread and you might get better coverage and more helpful replies..
  6. ask him if he wants to go for a cup of coffee,
    if hes just nice or he sees more in you
    or if he backs away then hes probably not interested.
    As for your physical condition,
    Unless its really really bad, I as a man, never consider a physical disorder a factor in finding a woman attractive, its your personality that makes you attractive to that man who is going to want to marry you.
    In fact I find MANY attractive women just plain UGLY, once they open their mouths and speak its all downhill.

    look at this guy....
    Nicholas James "Nick" Vujicic
    born 1982 is an Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker
    born with Phocomelia, a rare disorder characterised by the absence of legs and arms.
    He presents motivational speeches worldwide which focus on living with disabilities and finding hope and meaning in life.
    Despite issues with bullying and depression during his childhood, Vujicic thrived in his teenage and young adult years.
    After his mother showed him a newspaper article about a man dealing with a severe disability when he was seventeen,
    he started to give talks at his prayer group and later founded his non-profit organisation, Life Without Limbs.
    He has also founded a motivational speaking company, Attitude Is Altitude.
    Vujicic has written that he keeps a pair of shoes in his closet due to his belief in miracles
    On 12 February 2012, Vujicic married Kanae Miyahara. Their first son, Kiyoshi James, was born in 2013, and their second, Dejan Levi, was born in August 2015.
    Vujicic enjoys fishing, painting and swimming. He and his family live in Southern California
    From Pieces To Peace likes this.
  7. Hi! I have found that if a guy really likes you, he'll go out with you no matter what your conditions are. That's where true love comes from. I have seen quite a few couples who met when one of them were disabled, and the other one who wasn't was still more than interested. I know there's a bad stigma around, but honestly, if a guy was disabled and I really liked him, I would definitely go out with him.

    As you could've guessed, I'm a girl. If a guy doesn't seem to like you despite that, he's not going to love you in the long run. I hope it does work out for you, but if it doesn't, God's got you & He won't ever leave you. If he's not it, another man will be. Or maybe there's a different plan. I would pray about it & see how it goes. Good luck! I'm rooting for you :)
    chili and Elizabeth O say Amen and like this.
  8. I would just ask him. :) scary, but quick. (Like ripping a bandaid off?)
    Elizabeth O likes this.

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