Pursuing A Girl You Barely Know....bad Idea?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by xnonymous48, Apr 8, 2012.

  1. Is it a bad idea to pursue a girl you barely know? I'm in high school and have really liked this girl for over a year now (which means I should probably do something about it, right?). We are both Christian, so I feel like I need an alternative approach than most guys use. Last year, around February, we sat by each other in a class for almost a month. We talked a ton, and yeah. I thought she may have liked me, but at the time I was to stupid to really pursue her I guess. After we got new seats and didn't sit together, we never talked. Just sort of gave awkward glances to each other. The rest of the year I was contemplating whether or not I should talk to her (ok, I was scared. lame me), but I never did.

    So this year we have no classes together. I decided to try and forget her, but I was not able to. Recently, I finally just broke down and found a time to talk to her. That was a month ago. Since then, we have continued to talk a few times, but I always start the conversation.

    Now does it seem creepy/stalker-ish/needy/weird/dumb/totally-random of me to really try and talk to her and eventually ask her out? I have never asked a girl out before, and I feel like an idiot about the whole thing. I also have this sense that she is trying to be some "pure-person" and not date anyone. Is this wrong of me to even attempt? I feel extremely guilty for some reason, but I really like her for who she is and it is driving me nuts!

    Also, we don't have any mutual friends really.
  2. Why not just suggest to the girl that you would like to invest some time with her so that you could each get to know the other better? Me thinks that if you feel like an 'idiot', you are not quite confident enough to just ask her for a date yet. But you don't have to necessarily date her, just spend time with her with the declared agenda being 'getting to know you', well, getting to know each other better actually. If this leads to a friendship level where dating is appropriate and comfortable for both of you, then good... if not, well then you would need to move on. Either way, the experience that you will gain through this will help you a lot in working out just who you are.
    Rumely likes this.
  3. This takes me way way back actually. There was a girl of interest whose body language said various things like "Hey Calvin, notice me not noticing you". then finally "Hey Calvin don't even think about it...you just don't show up on my radar at all" Well I took about ten warehouses full of umbrage at that last exhibition, but it turned out she actually was quite interested in friendship, but me being me, once she crossed the line that was it......no turning back.( I was not a Christian in those days) What the psychology behind her body language was I'll never know, but maybe your person of interest is inadvertently sending you the wrong message...Just give her the benefit of the doubt on this one and explore friendship with her.
  4. Thanks calvin. I'm definetly going to try and get to know her better first. Somehow I have developed this idea that dating someone is just a bad route to go. Yet it seems really hard not to try and go there when you have feelings for her. Also, isn't dating someone a way to get to know them better?

    And when I said she was trying to be pure or whatever, that was totally a random assumption. She hasn't really acted like she wants to be pure and stuff.
  5. Listen, I may be totally out to lunch on this, but I thought you might appreciate a woman's opinion on the matter! :) Many times a woman is just waiting for the guy to make the first move. A lot of us are still "traditionalists" and feel that the guy should be the one to make the first move. And, as said before, what our actions say is not necessarily all that we mean! :) Not that we mean to relay the wrong message, but it does happen. :) Wish you all the best, and God's blessings!
  6. So where were you in 1967? I could have used that feedback then.:(:)
  7. Sorry Calvin, but in 1967, I wasn't even born yet! And my parents weren't married then either! Wish some other female in your life could have passed along this advice to you then! :)
  8. Now I do feel old and past my use by date:(
  9. I'm sorry Calvin! That wasn't my intent at all!
  10. Hey don't be. Just think.....when I do finally reach my 'use by date', I expect to be shipped home to be with Jesus for some much needed repairs.:) Other than that I'm just doing a little minor leg pulling.
  11. Calvin- thank you that made me laugh. you seem young at heart.
  12. signs can be very confusing,a smile is a good sign,her noticing you way more than other girls is a good sign.
    on the asking out i don,t think it matters ,some girls and lads wouldn,t know a sign if it was knocked on there heads.
    if you like them you will stay close to them.
    stalker yes tricky not knowing anothers perspective.
    if the oppertunity arises ask them out.
    i am usually shy when it comes to contact.beer did help that later on.but maybe not myself.

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