Provoke Not Your Children to Wrath

Discussion in 'Doctrinal Discussions' started by christianbacktobasics, Jan 29, 2016.

      • "....there must be at least sixteen different ways we as parents can discourage our children, some help listing them is required..."​
    I love the way the New Testament Teachings of Jesus Christ throughout His Gospels and His Epistles simplify a great many subjects we consider as Christians and these verses, the absolute pinnacle of Parenthood, are shared simply by Christ as the key to being a Godly and loving parent. I've looked at the these verses many times but I'm always willing to hear a new slant or thought which I might never have had considered before, as I'm preaching this one again next week.

    So, lets think about it; why, out of all the advice Christ could have given us about parenting does He choose to say ' Provoke not your children to wrath, lest they become discouraged.' The reason is, that provoking our children, in the ways which we're hopefully about to list are the aspects of their lives which cause a great deal of damage and often, going un-noticed. Many adults bear the scars of what their parents did or didn't do but it's the anger and the injustice of what happened which causes them the most pain.

    So I'd like to know what you think about ways in which made you angry and discouraged as a child as a means to teach us today what it means to be a true parent and I think I might just learn something new here too so I look forward to your thoughts. I'll put in the first way of provoking your child to anger and discouragement as a started and I believe this and many others are the key to being a great parent in Christ. Humiliation - Humiliating another isn't a nice thing but, the humiliation of a child is far more damaging as a young one simply doesn't possess the wit or understanding of sarcasm in the wake of a moment which can humiliate them.

    They see it as unfair, unjust and betraying when the person they trust most in the world either humiliates them in the home or even worse in public. This like many other unhealthy ways give the child difficult feelings to process and when they can't, they will feel an anger inside which they can do very little about. This is why it's so crucial to treat a child of any age with the respect that you'd expect others to give you and, give them that dignity as their parent because after the Lord, you are their only line of defense in this world.

    Hoping for fifteen more ways we can discourage our children if you don't mind and thanks so much for reading....​
    Complete likes this.
  1. I found that being ignored as a child really upset me. That old (damaging) statement was very often used by my mother: "Children should be seen and not heard" just made me have an attitude that made me not go to her about hardly anything. Praise God, He healed me of my hurt and resentment many years ago.
  2. Hello Seedsower and thank you for such a full response. That's such a good example and it's going on the list. Strange, we had the same kind of culture here in Scotland and I can recall that most of my friend's parents were very similar in their attitudes toward their children, ignoring them in similar ways. Very hurtful indeed, I remember it and hope we'll never do the same to ours. Thanks again for the response....
  3. I look at the antithesis provided right in that scripture itself.

    Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up by training and instructing them about the Lord. -- Ephesians 6.
    So the opposite of provoking your children to wrath--the thing to do otherwise--is to bring them up by training and instructing them about the Lord.

    This also implies that not having raised your children to know the Lord is why and how they are provoked to anger. Being raised to know the Lord protects them from becoming angry adults.
    JG27_chili likes this.
  4. Hello and thanks for your kind message. I tend to read the scriptures in the original so I thought you might be interested in the most accurate translation of the verses you've mentioned.

    Bring them up - To cherish
    Nurture - Training and Instruction
    Admonition - Mildly Rebuke

    Since the true nature of God is Love, these verses in Ephesians Six need to be reversed to find the practical teachings in which parents can learn how to bring up their children i.e finding out the exact ways we can discourage our children and avoid them. Being raised to know the Lord is the ideal message however deeper study is required to find our 'how' that's actually done and therefore instruct parents on how to succeed. Thanks again for your input....
  5. Yes, I see what you're saying but would you say children can be raised in a Christian home by Godly parents and not necessarily live Godly lives themselves?
    In a sense no one can know The Lord by being brought up in a Christian home but must have a unique, individual conversion experience for themselves. I apologise if this comes over as being dogmatic that is not my intention at all.
  6. Hello Pete and I absolutely agree and great point. I used to be a Youth Pastor and we had many kids who came from Christian homes and one of the major aspects we felt a tremendous draw to was, to draw these kids into their own unique encounter with God so that their lives weren't based on the apron strings of their parent's lives with God. I think the verses in Ephesians comes before this venture into their teens and own encounter (although I've seen kids younger than teens encounter God) and talks of how to bring them to that place. Or do your best to bring them to that place!
  7. Did Jesus not teach His disciples in all Godliness and wisdom, and didn't some of them yet leave Him and one even betray Him?

    The previous verse was an instruction to Christian children (specifically, adult children). This particular verse is an instruction to Christian parents. Each has his own instruction to obey. None of this is instruction to non-Christians. So I don't see your point.
  8. Thanks bro.
  9. Sorry for not being clearer. My point is that even though brought up in a Christian home children still need their own conversion experience and resulting salvation.
  10. My point is that we should follow the Lord's instructions.
  11. You are correct but that is not the point of my post. My point is that just because one is brought up in a Christian home that will not necessarily make one a Christian.

  12. 'Wherefore, my beloved brethren,
    let every man be swift to hear,
    slow to speak,
    slow to wrath:
    For the wrath of man
    worketh not the righteousness of God.'

    (Jas 1:19,20)

    Not being listened to. Being misjudged.

    Thank you.
    Seedsower likes this.
  13. My mother would withold love if I was naughty or did something she did not approve of (even now) and when I was much older (already a young adult) I'd hear her tell my brother she'd cut him out of her life. Terrified me and my God picture, in part, is skewed because of it. I feel if I don't behave then God will stop loving me. Imagine that!
  14. That's sad, @Lee-Ann,

    Praise God! That nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:34-39). :)

    It took me a long time to come to know God as a loving heavenly Father too. I was saved through fear, but thankfully, the fear of God is only the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10), for we quickly learn that His Love is boundless (Eph. 3:18), and that we are His delight (Prov. 3:12, Eph. 1), in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    In Christ Jesus
    Lee-Ann likes this.
  15. Hello Lee-Ann and apologies for the late reply. Thanks for being so honest and boy I remember that feeling alright. If I could I was hoping to share just very quickly something which I hope adds to you growing in the Lord. We know that the Lord hopes and expects us to love one and another and show His Love but all too often we all have a very skewed idea of what love actually is and it's only when we look on the original texts we find out what God meant when He spoke about true love in 1st Corinthians 13. Love suffers long (which burns for a long time even when not responded to), love is kind ( adaptable to the needs of other, becomes what a person needs them to be), love thinks no evil (Agape love would always believe and think the best in you). These as I'm sure you know are just some of what God speaks about as being Him and His Love so if this is the way He hopes and expects us to be, then surely this has to be way He loves us? I mean He doesn't have an option not to love us as His Christians or He'd be contradicting Himself and we know He can't do that so, even if we aren't the greatest of Christians, He still has to love us no matter what.

    I hope this little message adds to your growth, I know exactly where you're coming from and it can be hard sometimes but it's easy for me to tell that you're a heartfelt and honest Christian, you've got nothing to worry about. Last one, the Book of James tells us that there's no variableness in Him at all so our moods and days go up and down but His feelings to us never alter whether we're good or when we're bad. Total Grace x
  16. Wow, I've read those passages before but always in relation to how I am to love others, never as to how God would love me! Thank you for that perspective. :) What a lovely way to start to my day. Thank you for your message!
  17. Ah my screensaver popped up with Psalm 27:10 ... love it!
  18. Imagine bringing up a child to not fear anything untrue.
    That only leaves our instinctual fears for survival of or body, which we need.
  19. ' ... And, ye fathers,
    provoke not your children to wrath:
    bring them up
    in the nurture
    and admonition
    of the Lord.'

    (Eph 6:4)

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