*Warning, this will be long* I have problems with my mom and they are causing issues within my marriage. My mother feels that I should be calling her everyday, especially because she just turned 60 years old. She lets me know that it's a part of honoring my mother and my father and that I am sinning if I do not. She also tells me that when she dies I will regret not calling her every day. I know that what she is saying is a guilt trip and my wife sees it as well. I have tried explaining to my mom that when I got married, I was to leave her and my step-dad (my mom and dad are divorced and I do not know my dad) and cleave to my wife. That calling every day is not a part of honoring one's parents. She pretty much has dismissed what I say. Now my mom is Catholic, where I no longer am. Although she has gone to church all of about two times since she was in church for my grandfather's funeral back in 2001. I can't really say much about that myself since I haven't been to church (I have depression and I do not want to be around a bunch of people) in about 1 1/2 months, but I do listen to my church's service because they stream it live. So I believe her thought process comes from a catholic standpoint, as well as an Italian one as we're Italian. Last Wednesday, she emailed me to let me know that my son had posted on Facebook about his dog, which is my dog as well, was probably dying. I am no longer with his mother after a long term 10 year relationship ended where we were not married. This happened before I became a Christian. In my mom's email, she only copy and pasted what he had said and nothing more. That night, I cried and was upset all night long because of my dog and her seemingly uncaring email. My wife was mad because the email seemed callous and it wasn't for my mother to tell me the "news" in any way. My wife feels it was disrespectful of my mom. I didn't respond back to her or talk to her until today when she called. She called me and when I said hello, her following questions were, are you alive? Are you breathing? Do you still have a mother? To which my answers were, yes, I'm talking aren't I, and yes. She feels that I should have called her this week to discuss the email. I let her know that I thought it was wrong of her to do and that it upset me. That I will be told when my dog dies, even though she doesn't think that I will be. At the end of the conversation, she let me know that my step-dad was thinking about going fishing and that he probably isn't anymore. I let her know that if he decides to go that he can call me to see if I would like to go. She said she will let him know. Then she said to call her whenever and that she doesn't know what the h**l she did wrong. I have explained this all to her before about not having to call her every day, that I still love her and that I am still her son, but ti seems to have no effect. She blames my wife for changing me. This does have an effect on my wife because she sees the pain and hurt that I go through, she also feels that I walk a tightrope between pleasing her and my mother, which she is correct on. I know that if I lay down the rules to my mother, she will just tell me she no longer wants to speak with me and she will hold a grudge against me, just as my grandmother did with her son. She took it to her grave. I do not want that happening with me and my mom. I have been praying for help, and to give me the words to say that won't offend my mother, or not cause her to drop talking to me at all. I am asking for help here on these forums.