Hello, I am new to this site and I've never talked about this subject to anyone in my life, but God. So I would really appreciate any advice or insight on this, preferably with scriptural reference because I don't really know where to look on this. Thanks in advance! Here's a little bit of background on myself just relating to the area this thread is dealing with. It's quite common for today's society (sadly), and I do not feel sorry for the way my life is and I don't expect anyone else to either. These are just the experiences that God allowed me to go through to bring me closer to Him, mold my thinking, and for reasons I don't even know yet. I come from a (twice) broken home. My real father is a good guy, but He is not a believer and my mother is. Obviously if he refuses Christ..the whole unequally yoked thing..yea it just didn't work out. My (ex) step father was a literal psychopathic con artist (really, really long story) who left us homeless and..is just crazy. When I was very young, maybe four or five, a family member did things to me he should not have, to say the least. I would like to say that, that hasn't had an impact on me, but I can't help but think it did even if were just in a small way. I do not hold bitter feelings against this person, I forgave him a long time ago, and I am thankful that God helped to keep from a bitter heart. So now that all of that is out of the way! Until this past year, I never, ever wanted to get married. I didn't want to be in a relationship because I felt I would be better off on my own. But it was more like, I was fighting to have this feeling, like I was saying, "No God, I'm telling you right now, I am staying single, forever!" Funny right? Me telling God my plans. Well, a missionary came to speak at my church and I just had to give it all up. Me, my life, everything, I had to give it up to God. So I did. I started Bible college and feel that my "work" is to be for Him. And along with surrendering I stopped fighting the urge to reject the idea of marriage. And just as soon as I did that it was like, random people in church and school would say, "You're are going to get married one day." "God has a help-meet for you." My pastor, Sunday School teacher, and even the dean of my school has had long talks with me about how they know I am going to be married one day. Just weird stuff like that! Without me even saying a word about the matter! So, I know God has made it clear that I will be married in such a way that I don't even start the conversation, because I suppose He knows I'll never mutter a word about it! But here is where I have some questions, but I just can't bring myself to ask anyone of the people I know. I don't know..I just can't talk to people about this stuff. From what I've studied, I don't think their is such a things as a "soul mate" in the sense that their are two people destined to be together. So the way I see it is God can bring someone into your life, and they make a choice to be together, free will right? The only requirement is that they both be believers in Christ. But, an elderly lady in my church told me to make a list and pray for my "future husband", as if I already know him and he is out there walking around? I'm kind of torn on this. I didn't ask specifics of what she meant by "list", because I usually just smile and nod awkwardly. I guess the only things that should be on my list would be character traits, right? Like when Abraham sent his servant out with, I guess you could say it was a list, to find a wife for Isaac. Is it wrong to ask that you be attracted to the guy though? This is going to sound horrible :/... There were two guys seriously interested in me, we're talking courtship here. But I wasn't attracted to them, at all. Neither did I feel comfortable or safe with, they honestly scared me. So I kindly denied. I know that I'm "only" 20, but I don't want to pass up on a guy that God sends my way and be alone and unhappy because I missed out on God's will for my life. Am I looking for someone that doesn't exist? Is it wrong to ask God for a guy that I find attractive, am not afraid of and is Godly? (Ehh, I feel like this makes me sound really vain and conceited, but I'm not. ) Is it wrong to pray for a man you haven't met yet? At the moment there are no men my age in my church, and I attend a very, very small Bible college. It's seriously small, I am the only girl and it is in a church. All the men are older and married. I'm trying not to get impatient. My flesh is afraid because I am shy, and there seems to be no way (and no one) that God could bring someone who would be a "match" (for lack of a better word) for me. But I know, I know, He is God, He can do anything. So pretty much this entire book of a post what to ask those two bold print and underlined questions. lol Sorry, but I just felt the need to get all of this out my head for once. One more thing, if I may ask. If you are married, how did God show you that he/she was the person He would be happy for you to be with? Thank you for reading this, God Bless.