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Please pray for my family....

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by LivingProof8, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. Please pray for my family....

    My marriage is really in a bad stage right now. Long story short, my husband I and met when we were 16 and married at 21. We’ll have been married 5 years in August. We’ve had ups, downs and even separations and somehow we find ourselves back together. As of late (for over a year really) my husband has been telling me that he unable to give me the love the I deserve. He said that he believes our marriage has runs its course and he doesn’t want to feel like he’s wasted any more time. He doesn’t take much of an active interest around the house and more or less "goes with the flow". He pretty much sits and plays his computer game or PS3. He may spend about an hour a day playing with our 2.5 year old son but that’s about it. Everything else, I do. Get out son dressed and out the door for daycare, laundry, haircuts and I work full time as well. He just doesn’t seem to care. Knowing how he felt I stayed in our marriage hoping and praying that things would get better and that may be would get better but they haven’t. His relationship with Christ is almost non-existent.

    Also, my husband was raised in several foster homes and was bounced around from place to place until he was 13. The last foster mother he had was like a real mother to him. She truly loved him like her own son. She was an impeccable women who I love very much and my husband adored. Last year after a long illness, she passed away. My husband hasn’t really seemed to grieve or cope with her death, he almost seems to want to ignore it.

    He revealed to me on Father’s Day that he had been sexually molested and abused, by several people in his life, as a child. He also deals with an addiction to pornography as well.

    I’m just asking for prayers. He wants me to leave because he just doesn’t "feel" anything anymore but when I suggest separation, he gets upset. I don’t know if I really want to leave or not because I believe if he deals with the heartache and hurt that he’s suffered, our marriage can be better. I’m not saying that I’m perfect but I’m willing to let God work, if it’s His will for us. I’m currently in counseling and pray that one day he’ll be able to come to a session but right now he says that he doesn’t see the point. But at the same time, if he’s telling me that he believes we are done, I wouldn’t stay in a emotional situation like that one. I’ve been praying and wouldn’t make a decision until God tells me to.

    Any advice is helpful and PLEASE pray for my family.
  2. I am so sorry for your pain and for his, I will be praying for you.
  3. I think love is earn;t by respect of ones values, but unfortunatly ones values is not reconized due to ignorance and self indulgence.
    When young teenages meet desires flow not love and love takes time to mature.
    I met my wife when we were 13 years old now 27 years later we have faith in each other which is trust and thats how we reconize our love for each other.
    We had our seperations and disputes only to learn of our love for each other.

    Have patience and throw away all porn because that teaches unfaithfulness non respect which only leads to immoral debauchery.

    That is the roots of most marriage problems which leads to all kinds of deceptions followed by lies

    I pray to God that the holy spirit guides your husband and yourself in true faith in each other in Jesus name amen

    God bless you and all your family

  4. Hi, Is your husband a Christian?
    It sounds to me that the damage done to him is beginning to surface, that is the problem with sin afflicted against us, it wounds and destroys.
    There is hope, dont give up, God is the Master at restoring lives and healing people.
    Do you have the support of your church, is there anyone that would stand with your husband (they must be mature and full of the Spirit) and help him?
    Praying for you.
  5. Dear LivingProof:
    I really understand and am saddened to see you going through this situation...I agree that you have stayed for the right reasons and not given up unless the Lord tells you. He will truly bless you for trusting Him and not giving into the fleshly desires (running away more like it) of your husband.

    Your husband sounds to have much spiritual bondage but it is NOT impossible to deal with but he has to WANT TO. My husband has a similar background but it was physical and emotional abuse; not sexual as I understand it. Abuse is abuse and your husband has been damaged but GOD CAN HEAL HIM. The Lord has done MUCH healing in my husband in the past 9 years and "fine tuning" so much more in our relationship in the past year because we have trusted in Him.

    Go to counseling; talk with godly people who will pray and give godly advise. Take care of yourself and your dear child. Your husband sounds depressed, defeated, grieved and he must want to deal with himself if he is going to be willing to deal with your marriage.

    I will be praying LivingProof...keep reading, sharing, praying and working this out. God is able if we are willing...it is a long road sometimes but it is definitely WORTH IT!!! PM me if you would like to talk more privately and indepth.

    Let's pray:
    :pray:Father, I know that You are able to do exceedingly ABOVE ALL that we can ask or think of You; we trust You today to begin a healing work in LivingProofs heart and we pray that You will fill her with the love and peace that only comes from You and that she turns to You as her husband while her husband is emotionally distant from her and his child. We ask that You give her wisdom; bring a multitude of godly counselors and helpers to her and his sides, that You will cause situations in his life that will draw Him closer to You and her and that You will enable them with great patience and love for each other to weather this storm of life. You are the calm in the storm and may they find refuge and safety in You. We stand along side them in prayer and faith believing for Your will and ways in their lives...in Jesus' Name...amen. :pray:
  6. Living Proof,
    You have received excellent words of wisdom here. I feel your pain for you. It is so true. Nothing is impossible to deal with , but he has to want to, just like you. You are reaching out. You want the relationship to be healed. You want restoration of yourself and your marriage.

    I pray that you have found a great counselor in the one you are seeing. I just started counseling again myself. I have found a great Christian counselor in the new area I am living in. When I went to counseling before, it was not with a Christian counselor, it was with a psychologist, he was great. However, what a difference in having a Christian counselor. He prays with me beforehand. We seek God's wisdom and guidance together. I will say some of the best counseling I have received is through folks here on the Forum. Through posts, private PM's and emails, many here have helped me on my journey, which I am soooooooo thankful for.

    Keep praying, keep sharing but most of all .. take time to be quiet with God, let him speak to you.. he will..

  7. 'For better or for worse; we pledge,
    Through sickness and through strife;
    And by the help and grace of God
    We'll keep these vows for life.

    God bless

  8. Great words of wisdom there!

  9. I want to thank everyone here for their words of encouragement and prayers. I believe that each is a blessing and helps me get through even the most hurtful moments.

    My husband has decided to move our although he has not asked for a divorce. He said that he needed his space and that he had a lot of issues that he had to deal with before he could fully give out marriage or even love the way that he should. I'll admit that I was angry and said that if he was leaving then we mine as well get a divorce but I know that wasn't right. I was hurt and devastated but with what i have read here, I believe I am finally understanding why he needs to leave. Maybe he has to deal with his issues alone. Maybe this is a walk that he and God need to take before we can take anymore steps together. Just continue to pray for me during these tough and lonely times that I will continue to stay steady fast as well as be there for my son as well as be prepared for whatever the outcome. Thank you all.
  10. Im so sorry....Your in my prayers, Always look to God its the only way to make it through.

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