Personal relationship issue with GF

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Dan Crawford, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. STAFF EDIT: removed extremely sensitive personal data for safety and security and so replies may comply with Forum Rule 3.2d.

    I was casually dating this woman for 4 months. [ edit ] I'm unsure of her faith in God, as well as her overall intentions as she comes from a broken family and borderline homeless/poor. I believe she is lying to me often and I want to trust her. We are planning on getting religious counseling next week.

    My current spiritual situation is that I grew up in a Christian family, never really being a serious follower. Once I found out that [there were consequences in the relationship] I felt like my only outlet was prayer. The only positive I can make out of this situation is that I feel more committed to God than ever - which I hope it is not wrong to go to him in a time of trouble.

    I am also really unsure about whether God wants me to be with this woman for the rest of my life.

    Any [ prayer ] help would be appreciated.​
    Truthfrees likes this.
  2. Welcome to cfs Dan Crawford

    Praying for wisdom and guidance for you in this situation.

    As we ask of all new memers,
    Please look over the Following and Familiarize yourself with them, this will help you to have a safe and joyful time here in the forum.

    Again this is just forum procedure and nothing else.

    1. Forum Policies and Procedures
    2. Topics which May Not Be Discussed in the open forum.

    If you have any questions or issues with the forum, please feel free to contact a moderator or helper and we will do what we can to help.

    Again Welcome to cfs
    Cturtle likes this.
  3. Hi Dan,
    CFS will not allow "Advice" to be given in medical, health and relationship situations.

    Prayer may be offered and so forth. It has become a huge liability for the forum these days.

    With that said I would Advise Highly that you Honestly Devote much time in Prayer, Repentance and Seeking God's Desires in this which is vitally important. I mean get serious about seeking God.

    The two of you have totally changed the future of your lives and doing the right thing is in order.

    Praying for you
    Cturtle likes this.
  4. Welcome Dan to cfs! We are grateful you could join us. We will be praying for you and this situation, for wisdom (James 1:5-6) and direction. You definitely have a family here that will support, love and lift you and your gf up to the Lord.

    Blessings of grace and peace be yours in abundance.

    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  5. Understood. Thanks for the info.
    sandpiper and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  6. God is the Truth. All truth can be found by opening up to God.
    Whenever you feel any tension (trouble), regardless of how subtle or severe, you are experiencing fear which stems from something not necessarily so (not true). Use this tension as a signal to return to faith in God by becoming soft and gentle again. In that softness (humbleness) become conscious of your love for God, and the Truth will reveal itself to you (sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly) depending on your degree of faith and humbleness.
    How do you know if you received the Truth? It is doubtless, to the point, always loving (including tough-love), and in return you will be compelled to be grateful (in praise) for its liberation of your troubles (tensions).

    Free-will is not exclusive from both you and the other person. So anything could happen.
    However, you can be sure that God wants you and anybody else to discover their truth by opening up to God. Anybody can be the right person when they are true, for truth is the only thing of value, real, genuine, and authentic. Anything else is a delusion, denial, fantasy, and unreal.
    Unconditional love is about loving the Love (Truth) that loves you. It is not about what you can gain/lose (conditional) from the other person.
    sandpiper, Cturtle and Fish Catcher Jim says Amen and like this.
  7. praying for you

    when you meet the woman God has for you - both you and her will propel each other into a deeper relationship with God

    iow iron will sharpen iron

    you will know beyond all doubt if a women is sent by God to be your wife

    don't settle for 2nd best

    my recommendation is keep praying for God to move you closer to Him - Matthew 6:33 - so that you will become more intimately acquainted with God

    then God will add all good things to you

    God Bless you my dear brother
    Cturtle likes this.
  8. I am hoping to find a woman more devoted to Christ, but my girlfriend now is trying. But we are in a situation where it would not be best to leave each other.
    Cturtle and Truthfrees say Amen and like this.
  9. oh i see

    that is the deleted part


    praying and will post back later

    God bless you my dear brother
  10. When one sins there is consequences to that sin.
    This changes everything.

    Don't look to others for direction in this.
    The Father is the one you must seek out and find His directions, after all it is He in which you will answer too.
    Cturtle likes this.
  11. I shouldn't seek counsel for this situation?
  12. Mr. Crawford - Getting 'advice' in a forum is hit and miss most of the time. Persons mean well, but every case is different and what may have a good outcome in one case may be completely wrong in another. It is for that reason that CFS Rule 3.2D is in place - to protect persons who are in relationships that need work.

    The staff at CFS always recommends local, licensed and insured Christian Consultation in these matters. We will also offer prayer for you and any others involved, to do local research and find a consultant that you are comfortable with and who can work with you and to make things better for everyone involved.

    The Staff at CFS is joining in group prayer for your situation and you can pray to Our Father for His assistance to resolve this matter..

    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  13. No Sir that's not what I said.
    I said you need to seek "your counsel" from God, not people.

    You can take advice from your favorite pastor and still miss what God wanted.

    You two have changed both of your lives no matter if you like it or not.
    Now you have to deal with this new situation.

    So ask your self....what is more important, my desires or what I think or what God wants me to do.

    As I said sin has consequences and you now will have to deal with these consequences and as a born again man of God, there is only one choice or course one should take.

    Seek God and His direction no matter if it lines up with what you want.

    sandpiper and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  14. As you seek God for His will in what to do next, I just wanted to mention and give you hope for God can make things better than you could ever dream with this woman that you already have.. for you can grow together... but you have to obey His instructions (and know that God is telling and you to stay with her) and rise up to be the man He desires for you to be for her... for you are the head of the household under God. Get in the Scriptures and learn how to be a godly man while your waiting for God to give you direction for this situation.

    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  15. I now understand not asking for advice online. I will take care of this woman and child unless God gives me another direction.

    I guess my main question is how should I approach finding answers (in general)? I am not sure if this breaches any 'advice' boundaries for the site.
    Fish Catcher Jim, Truthfrees and Cturtle says Amen and like this.
  16. Pray and seek God. Ask Him to lead you. As you read the Scriptures, God can and will direct you (making the ones He has for you to "pop" out at you, or like an ah ha kind of thing).

    Hebrews 11:6 says that
    But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].
    Hebrews 11:6 ampc

    And James 1:5 -6....
    If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind.
    James 1:5‭-‬6 AMPC

    As you bring your requests to God... after asking Him for wisdom....thank Him for that wisdom and guidance, and trust Him to lead you in all your ways. (Philippians 4:6-7)

    When you get a thought of what to do... commit that thought unto Him, and ask Him if this is His desire and then leave it in His hands trusting Him to make your thoughts line up with His will/Word (prov 16:3 ampc). It does not always take a huge amount of time.. but a quick acknowledgement and then you will know if He says no or not. You also may be led to pray in the spirit or longer than just a quick what do you think Lord.

    If you will commit to the Word of God being how you pattern your life... then as you come upon questions and decisions.. drop to your knees (can be in your mind and heart) and ask God for guidance and Scriptures. The more you read and learn how God speaks in His Word... the more you will know His voice when the question does not have a Scripture to back it up.

    The biggest point and help, is to develop a relationship with Him, where your constantly communicating with Him about everything. Just like you would your best friend. Realizing that He lives inside of you and is with you all the time. The more you learn to listen for Him, the more you will hear Him speaking to your heart.

    It will sound like your voice because the Holy Spirit speaks to your spirit and then your spirit speaks to your mind, which comes across as a thought. And pay attention to those times when you have an uneasy feeling (or gut feeling) ask God if that is Him and why?

    There is a family alive today because the Holy Spirit gave the husband a bad feeling about going to Sri Lanka for vacation when the big tsunami hit... they cancelled their trip, even though they were disappointed.

    God bless you all.. your in our prayers
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  17. You have been very helpful. Thank you.

    I will hopefully improve upon my communication with God. My impatience is unsettling, but I believe once i can tame it I will be able to see more of His answers.
    sandpiper, Fish Catcher Jim, Cturtle and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  18. It takes time... but He is faithful! And will never leave you stranded unless you turn a deaf ear to Him. Then one gets left with our own choices, unless we choose to repent and then turn to His ways.

    Always remember Philippians 2:13....
    [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.
    Philippians 2:13 AMPC

    God loves you and will help you. Just have patience and grace with yourself... and be quick to repent and receive His cleansing and restoration of Right standing with the Father. Gods grace is huge and his arms ever open to receive us :) even when and especially when we goof. For He knows our hearts, and loves us deeply!
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  19. This is what repentance is for... it breaks the Power of the ungodly thing we have submitted to. Even if your repenting 100 times a day or more... everytime you repent the connection is broken.

    Focus on His peace and allow it to rule and reign in your heart. Labor to enter into resting on His Word (Hebrews 4:1) knowing and understanding that His Word is alive and will do what it's supposed to do (Hebrews 4:12)... allow His peace and Holy Spirit to calm you... sometimes it's not easy to make the fleshly ways submit to His... but as Jesus said... take His yoke and learn from Him (Matthew 11:28-30)

    Your gonna do great... we just know it.

    Meditate on this verse also....

    THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. [Ps. 110:1.] Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds. You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood.
    Hebrews 12:1‭-‬4 AMPC

    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  20. Once you become impatient then you become Frustrated and if you are frustrated then you Are Not In Faith!!

    Impatience robs you of the faith you need to receive even direction from the Father and opens the door unto our enemy the devil to begin to ride herd over you.

    You can not hear even if He yells the answer.

    James 1:4
    But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.


    Cturtle likes this.

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