Pay Someone To Go To Church?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by LiveOutLouder, Jun 15, 2013.

  1. I was browsing Facebook yesterday and my sister-in-law posted, "How do I get some cash fast?!" She's in her early twenties, 6 months pregnant with her 2nd child (different father), and is currently unemployed; having difficulty getting a job with only 3 months to delivery. She is a beautiful girl and prior to her pregnancy made a little bit of money as a model, so you can imagine what her "friends" were recommending that she do.

    I messaged her to ask how much money she needed or what she needed the money for and she replied, "Just some extra spending money." My husband and I don't have a lot of discretionary income, but if I made some intentional sacrifices by packing a lunch or skip my morning Starbucks coffee, I could muster up a modest offering to help her out. I'm not talking great amounts of money here either... Maybe $100.

    Question - What if I asked to go to church for a month and paid her to do it? I would love scripture to support or reject my intentions.
  2. Interesting...I'm not entirely sure what you would be "buying" or how she would interpret that. She would probably go, and I can easily see how that might influence her in good ways, but I think bribing someone into going to church is sending a very confusing message. I think that it would maybe be better to pay her a salary to help out in some way with some church functions if that is the direction you want to go with it.
  3. It's the bribery and sending a very confusing message aspect of this that brought me to starting this thread. I'm sure you can see that my heart is to encourage her to go to church rather than take the options that her friends are encouraging her to do. I guess I'm trying to rationalize that my intentions are "pure.". Thanks for your input.
  4. I believe that your intentions are pure. If they were anything else, I don't think you would be asking the question. I think the issues of message can be handled well, so giving her the option of church to counter a friend's option that is potentially harmful to her Spiritually isn't a bad one. I think you just need to really handle it carefully, and have a plan for the case where she either refuses, or is possibly even offended.
    Rusty and LiveOutLouder say Amen and like this.
  5. I don't know... It doesn't line up with scripture. Jesus didn't give money to follow Him. You can give her money and live by example, not asking for anything payback or anything in return. I see your heart, but asking her to go to church and paying her to go will only confuse her.
  6. Well, that's an odd on question for sure. I can't say that there is any scripture that relates directly to that question. One example that comes to mind is Simon in the book of Acts. It is not quite the same scenario, probably the opposite. (Acts 8:9-24)

    Money is not really important to God-what we do with money is. So your question has to be examined in two parts: Is it worth the 'money' to have your sister come to Church and hear the Gospel? And, what is your motivation? If you are seeking reward I would say forget the whole thing. God's not impressed.

    If you are brokenhearted for your sister's soul-well then; how much is it worth in the cost of 'money' to see a soul saved?

    Is it bribery? Maybe. What difference does it make? Our Pastor bribes the kids with treats every Sunday night. Is it worth the 'money' for the kids to be in a culture of Christ on Sunday nights versus out playing in the world?

    Measure the 'cost' and 'worth' in Spiritual terms; use Jesus's scales.

    Matthew 18
    11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.
    12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
    13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.
    14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.
  7. Point is DRS: Her sister-in-law is not a kid, will more than likely feel cornered by the "bribe", and basically the questionable part here is the method, not the motive.

    Frankly, if I was a non-believer, I would warm to this, more than a coerced church attendance:

    (Spoken in person! Not phone SMS or e-mails!)

    "Hey Sis: I'm pretty embarrassed, but I have to admit, I was toying with a crazy idea that I would give you this $ gift if you came to church with me. But I counseled with God and my friends and saw that that would not be fair to you. You will only come to Christ when you want to, not because of a little money....So here ya go. I hope you understand my love and confusion, but I'm clear on this now: It's up to you whether you have interest in God, not me."
  8. As far as giving money to relatives, I would simply say this:

    Scripture tells us that the borrower is slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7), and I can tell you from experience that Thanksgiving Dinner doesn't taste as good when you eat it with your master rather than your family.

    If you're going to give it to her, then just give it to her. Make it a gift, plain and simple, that she has to do nothing in return for. I think that's the best way to do it, although if I can be totally frank, perhaps her want for extra spending money is a symptom of a budgeting problem? If so then by giving her the money you would essentially be giving a drunk a drink.

    Just some food for thought.
    LiveOutLouder likes this.
  9. Yeah I can agree with that-I guess it's one of those 'you'd have to have been there' things. Different people respond to different motivations.

    Would I personally offer money as a way to get someone to church? No. But I would offer fellowship. I use our frequent 'fellowship dinners' and special events to promote our Church. Not really the same thing, but you never know what some people will respond too.

    I wasn't really condoning the money tactic, just offering a perspective. I do think that the motivation factor should include love. Some people understand the 'love of money' over the love of Christ-as wrong as they may be-they still need Christ don't they?
    Rusty likes this.
  10. Yes I agree that 'strings' attached to giving money usually cause more problems than they solve.
  11. This is a great point and of the many scenarios that I have been rolling through my mind, I have to admit that asking her to go to church and paying her to do it could be confusing. I wanted to take an optimistic perspective in believing she would believe that it was an innocent gesture, but that's another reason for this thread. I needed additional perspectives. Thanks!
  12. Yes, that sure clears things up. OUCH! Never wanted this to feel like a sentence or an obligation. Surely only want her, her son, and baby on the way to know the Lord. Thanks for sharing!
    Rusty likes this.
  13. I have to admit, this one did cross my mind. That was another part of my idea... if she were going to take money and have a budgeting, drug, alcohol, whatever problem - I didn't/don't want to participate in that. I rationalized that thought away thinking she might want to afford the father of her baby a Father's Day gift. She didn't say that, but that goes to show you how gullible I, apparently, am. To that end, maybe if she made it to church she would gain a conscience about that. But your quote on Thanksgiving dinner is a sobering thought. Thanks for that.
  14. Thanks everyone for your input. I think you have truly brought clarity to this idea. I've learned something very valuable here and I think it is evidenced through everyone's comments. It is not a healthy proposition to take this risk. It could send the wrong message about God, church, and money. :(

    I took your advice and have contacted several restaurant owners who I have as friends and referred her. I knew the bible wasn't clear on this specifically, but I think it all comes down to this, "
    Proverbs 3:5-6
    New International Version (NIV)

    5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

    Her name is Holly. Please join me in prayer for her. :cry:

    Blessings to you all.
    Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. :D
    Rusty and RoninJedi say Amen and like this.

  15. You're welcome. Like I said, just some food for thought. I may be completely wrong about it being a symptom, and I wouldn't say you're gullible. If you're going to give money, you have a right to know where it's going. Before making a final decision, I would encourage you to ask her what it will go toward, and then to pray about it.

    That's what I would do in your shoes, anyway, for what it's worth.

    God bless.
    LiveOutLouder likes this.
  16. Prayers sent.
    LiveOutLouder likes this.

  17. If you frame it as a quid pro quo arrangement, I think she would be receptive to it. I don't see it being a problem as far as going against any scriptures. I would pray that God gives you the right words to say when framing the arrangement.

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