This turned out much longer than I anticipated, so I don’t know how many will read this. Anyway, as a quick disclaimer, this thread is about the idea of premarital sex, and note that I’m not intending to ‘find a loophole’ or trying to use reasoning to get out of sin. Simply put, I’ve been thinking about this frequently (not due to desire, but rather for truth-seeking) and trying to search for wisdom and my own spiritual led interpretation instead of following other people. That’s what the Bible was written for, right? For believers to discover what God is saying rather than have other people tell them? Of course, that’s what pastors are for- to help guide their brothers and sisters in a Godly life- nobody can really tell you what God is saying to you. So yes, I’d like input on this common issue. I know we live in a sexually charge and impure society, but is it possible to engage in premarital sex without being impure to God? I believe it could be possible. With another side note, know that I’ve never had to come up against sexual temptation so again, there are no impure motivations behind this. Consider these ideas: - -Jesus was not very elaborate on the subject of sex. Many of his teachings revolved around adultery- which was about marriage- and prostitution, which I’m not questioning the morality of. Exploiting the intimacy and bond of sex for money and physical pleasure is, in my opinion, selfish and a clear violation of God’s purpose. Our idea of what the Jesus means by sexual impurity or immorality, is derived from other people’s interpretation that we’ve accepted. - -Who did go into detail on the topic was Paul. He does speak a lot of fornication, lust and marriage. Paul writings are the basis for most of our morals when it comes to sexual purity. However, Paul was just a man. As Christians, it seems we take his writings as just as sacred as the teachings of Christ. I’m not trying to downplay his significance in Christianity, but remember that Paul was just as flawed of a human being as we are- and he admits it. To live by Paul’s morals at the same level as Christ’s would be idolatry, would it not? Yes, many of his thoughts line up well with Christ’s, but the things he adds are only his own interpretations from experience. Now, I realize that these sound like technicalities, but in reality, I feel like they’re elements of our faith that are overlooked and replaced by the interpretations of other men and woman. Furthermore, there are historical elements that I see that can support this idea. Think about how men and woman came to be married in ancient times. More or less, the man would seek a mate, court her, and then get permission from her father. Who was it that had to work for seven years just to end up marrying the sister of the woman he intended to marry? The road to marriage seemed very impersonal, and today is drastically different. We have the freedom to find a compatible partner in order to have a healthy marriage. We know now today that a healthy sex life is a healthy marriage, and that’s what God wants for us- a healthy marriage; one that doesn’t end up in divorce or infidelity. Consider this: Two people decide to abstain before getting married. After they are wed, they find out, for whatever reason, that they aren’t sexually compatible. It happens. Now I know sex isn’t the absolute most important thing in a relationship, but if a person can’t find intimacy with their partner, more than likely they’ll seek it somewhere else, which leads to infidelity. Imagine now that these two people divorce in the future because of lack of intimacy. They could have avoided that if they had known, and could have worked it out before marriage. Another thing is about culture change. We as Christians are not part of this world, which is why we have the teachings of Christ; to guide us through the world in a pure and Godly way. But, there are certain things one cannot avoid in a world that demands so much change, so God must have taken into account the way we have to adapt. If Jesus came today, in the same manner and same basic teachings as we read in the New Testament, do you think he would say the exact same things, or would it be suited to how the world works now? How would morality be defined? If we interpret his teachings in accordance to the culture of those times, so many things would be different. What we consider modest clothing on a woman- not too tight pants and a shirt that hides cleavage, stomach, etc.- would probably be consider attire of a prostitute by Biblical era standards. To get a perspective on this, over a thousand years after Biblical times, just a woman’s exposed ankle was considered erotic. Imagine what the culture in the time of the New Testament would think about a girl wearing even a sweatshirt and baggy pants. The point is that some culture change is necessary and some does not have to be adapted to. So, consider the change in which we find a romantic partner. We go to school, and while in school, many kids develop crushes. Throughout high school and college (if you attended college) a person will have several girl/boyfriends. We date them for some time, usually a few years before we then get married. Of course we have to wait until we’re out of school, which, if you go to college, isn’t until early to mid-twenties, then hopefully by then you’re out of your parents’ house and financially secure. Then the actual wedding isn’t for another few months, and you have to make sure you can pay for a wedding. That’s much different than seeking a beautiful woman, making sure she’s a virgin, getting her father’s consent, and holding a ceremony. Furthermore, they were much younger when they got married. Mary was still a teenager when she was to be married to Joseph. Today, we have to suppress our sexual urges (which are God-given and natural) from the time puberty hits (around 12-14) until usually our mid-twenties. That’s a long time, and from a medical standpoint, possibly harmful. Paul says that to marry is better than dealing with lust. But the times in life that you’re burning with the most lust are the times where it’s not possible to marry. What I’m leading up to in all of this, is that times have drastically changed, and although the Bible is not to be twisted to fit our desires, we don’t live in the ancient Middle East. We are in a time where we know more than ever about how the human body works, and that sex can actually be a good thing outside of marriage- if used responsibly. Biblical culture didn’t have contraception or the same knowledge as we do today. That’s not to say we should give in to every lustful thought and sexual urge- I’m not saying that at all. Lust is still wrong, as promiscuity, but if exploring your sexuality with a potential spouse to find your compatibility leads to a successful marriage, isn’t that what God wants? I realize people abuse sex and the media uses our primitive urges to exploit it, but does that mean that those who use it as God intended have to avoid it? That’s like the classic saying “one person ruins it for everyone”. Anything that causes harm to yourself or another person is obviously against God’s will, but sex can be used for good outside of marriage. It’s those who sleep around and prostitute themselves that cause damage by spreading STD’s and also the emotional strain. Jesus warned against sexual impurity. Paul interpreted what that meant for the present time. Our job is to seek what that means for our time. I know it’s a controversial idea, and many here may disagree, but I wanted to present it in a Christian based community to get some honest feedback. If I had said all this on a regular website, the secular people would probably say I’m overthinking. So really, what’s your opinion on all this? Do we follow the Bible as rigid rules like other people tell us it is, or do we let it help us live as God would want based on where we are personally and culturally? Or do we go by Paul statement of something being ok for one and not the other based on what you believe is right? And this doesn’t have to be confined strictly to sex; any moral issue that’s rather vaguely covered in the Bible can be applied. So thoughts? I’m interested.