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Out of the mouths of babes/Post your favorites

Discussion in 'Humor' started by geecee, Feb 17, 2007.

  1. Out of the mouths of babes/Post your favorites

    Children really do say the funniest and cutest things. As an elementary school music teacher, I usually get several laughs a day from some of the things my children say. This did not come out of the mouth of one of my children but I heard the story once of how children often misinterpret or misunderstand the titles to some of the hymns we sing in church. One of my favorites was told by a Sunday School Teacher. She said that after a child got home from church his parents were asking him what songs they sang that day (His parents were not regular attenders but liked to keep up on what was going on). "Oh," he replied, "we sang about kings and queens that were turtles." Baffled at the thought that children would sing about turtles, his parents asked him the name of the song. The boy thought for a moment then said, "I think it was called, "Lead On O Kingly Turtle." His mother burst out laughing when she realized she new that song. Not as "Lead On O Kingly Turtle" but as, "Lead On O King Eternal." A famous old hymn of the church. For those of you reading this who are old enough to remember Art Linkletter and his famous quote, "Children really do say the "Darndest Things.":cap:
     
  2. Take A Picture Of Jesus

    I had the cutest and truly the most precious thing come out of one of my little second grade girl's mouth this morning.
    As I mentioned in my first post, I am an elementary school music teacher. On Mondays I usually do a little chit chat with my kids when they come for music class just to see how their weekends went and general stuff. Somehow we got on the subject of getting older(I think someone may have mentioned that a grandparent had passed away). I told the kids that they should enjoy being kids because someday they will be my age and have lots of responsibilities. Well, of course I knew when I said that, I would be getting the inevitable question of "How old are you Mr. C?" I told them and then said, "You know when you get my age, I won't be around any more, I'll be in heaven with Jesus (I teach in a public school, but I don't let that bother me). A sweet little blonde haired girl in the second row raised her hand and said, "Mr. C, when you get to heaven, will you please take a picture of Jesus and send it back to me?"
    I had to turn and face the board real quick so the class wouldn't see the tear that came rolling down my cheek.
    How precious are our little ones. O that they would all grow up to know Jesus.
     
  3. Raising Boys (From a Mother's Point Of View)

    Raising Boys . . . . .

    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

    Things I've learned from my Boys (honest I'm not kidding):

    1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.house, 4" deep.

    2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

    3. A 3-year-old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft room.

    5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

    7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

    8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9. A six-year-old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old Boy.

    11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

    12. Super glue is forever.

    13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

    14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though commercials show they do.

    16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

    19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

    20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

    21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:

    a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
    For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
    c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
    d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
    e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
     
  4. I'm still laughing!

    Well, Geecee, that was hilarious. It got better as it went on.
    I had to stop reading for fits of laughter and the tears in my eyes.
    It made my day.
    Thankyou.:)
     
  5. After the christening of his baby brother in church,
    Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
    His father asked him three times what was wrong.
    Finally, the boy replied,
    "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
    and I wanted to stay with you guys."

    A wife invited some people to dinner.
    At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
    "Would you like to say the blessing?"
    "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
    "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
    The daughter bowed her head and said,
    "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"


    Cliff :D
     
  6. Here's one from my daughter ( was 7 at the time ). This is totaly true. My wife asked her if the boys at school chased her. She said yes. My wife asked, (trying to find out if there was a boy who was special to my daughter) "Which boy would you like to chase you?" To this my daughter replied without missing a beat "the slowest one". Just another reason to have suppers together as a family.
     
  7. Here's another one from my private vault.
    When my oldest son was about 8 and his brother was 4 we had this happen. My boys were at my parents and I came over after work. I had stopped on the way to get a haircut. I guess I looked quite different because when I came in the house my 4 year old looked at me oddly, then politely pointed to his older brother and said " This is my older brother, Ben".
     
  8. YellowJacket,
    Oh my!
    That is too funny!
    I bet you laughed for days~
     
  9. Geecee, I wish more public school teachers were as brave.
    What loyalty you have for God!
     

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