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Out Of Curiosity...?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Nontuthuko, Jul 13, 2014.

  1. Hello to you all!

    Can I ask please,

    How soon does a new couple working on getting married start living up their marriage vows?

    Is it after or before being announced "husband and wife by a poster?"

    (when referring to their marriage vows, i'm don't mean love making, fore as long as we've been saved we know this should take place after the wedding day or after vows have been officially exchanged).

    I'd appreciate if your reply was inspired by a bible scripture

    Thank you!
  2. Every person is different as to when they start living up to the marriage vows they agreed to. Some people marry already mature, and some never achieve the maturity required to live up to what they vowed.

    However, are you writing of when after the marriage or when before the marriage?
  3. Thank you so much Tezrili for time taken in writing back to me. There's nothing personal behind my question, I only asked out of curiosity. However I had a certain passage in mind when asking this question, Matthew 19:8. "He said to them, 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."

    Clearly this shows that God's expectations in marriage is a bit harder on guys in favor of us ladies, only because husbands' are expected to reflect Christ who keeps forgiving the 'weaker vessel' which is the church that continuously sins. Husbands were expected to forgive their fives but since they weren't willing to corporate, Moses had to altinate by permitting a letter of divorcement.

    With that said, I wondered if a guy engaged to marry a certain lady should leave or stay if the lady has messed up hoping to be forgiven? Must he leave since his not yet obligated to forgive her since they not married officially yet, or he should work on learning to live up to these expectations from God?

    Do we start before or after marrying to live up to our marriage vows?
  4. Well, Nontuthuko, I think there are many biblical answers to what appear to be your questions.

    In Ezekiel, we have the people of G-d, called Jerusalem for this narrative, whom He tenderly called to be His Bride. He saw her as an infant, filthy in the mud, an infant thrown away without even the navel cared for, not washed, still bloody; not salted, not swaddled, not loved, and no one cared. But He called to her, "Live!" She matured physically but when her maturity brought the time for love, she had less than nothing: she was helpless, hopeless. Still, He became engaged to her, made sure she was cleaned up, made sure she was comforted with oil, and made sure she was dressed in the finest, gave her shoes, loaded her with jewels, and crowned her head. He fed her with the best food. But she became enamored with her own loveliness and played the harlot. The story goes on, but it is obvious to the reader what she should have done, what He could have done, but what he did . . . What He DID! What He did was glorious.

    Then we have the example of the Messiah's own mother and stepfather. Joseph had every right by Law to put her away, but he did not rush to make his decision. He waited. And waiting, the Angel gave him the answer, which Joseph obeyed.

    (But regarding G-d's being harder on the men, we have to understand the historical context. Men nearly always had the ability to support themselves, to work. Women did not always. Divorce usually meant she went back to her childhood home (if she still had one!), became a beggar, or she became a harlot, in order to support herself. For a woman, inheritance rarely happened. G-d wanted, to make sure the women, then, were provided for and went far beyond the popular laws of Hammurabi.)

    With regard to either a man or a woman who is unfaithful in an engagement, it is up to the wronged one to decide what to do: s/he is not under any biblical obligation. The Bible says that one has a right to walk away, but we also have the right to stay. However, if we forgive and stay, one must remember that forgiveness is letting the wrong go, not holding on to it it any action, not holding it over the forgiven one's head in any manner: they have to let it go as though it never happened. If that one cannot forgive, that one has to let the other go.

    An engaged couple is practicing marriage, minus the most intimate parts of marriage, which are saved until after they are actually married.
  5. Edward, just walk away. It will be all right. :)
    God is Love likes this.
  6. I would say that your commitment to God is more important than your commitment to one another.
    This is why Jesus tells us....

    Luk 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple.

    The reason for this statement is because you can not truly love any of these people unless you first love God. Love comes, and flows from God himself to the one loving him, and then that same love flows out of that person to our wives, husbands, brothers, sisters..ect
    If you put God first in all you do, you will be fine. Love never fails.

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