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Not Sure I Have Ever Really Been A Christian

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by naomanos, Mar 22, 2014.

  1. I said the sinners prayer in 2009 after feeling the overwhelming urge to raise my hand to receive Jesus after a service at one of the many churches he's where I have been in attendance since 2009. Since then, nothing has really ever changed. I have also been baptized since that point.

    There has been no drastic change in me. I still feel like the same person I was when I raised my hand. I may have a little more patience than I did then, but I am also a little older. I still have an anger issue that simmers below the surface that I have gone to a counselor to help. I have major depression, which is being treated with medication. My counselor even said there's not much more she can do for me. I find just journaling my day helps more with my anger than the counselor.

    I am still indifferent about attending church. I never really felt spiritually fed in any church that I attended and I have attended service in non-denominational, Pentecostal leaning non-denominational, Presbyterian, Baptist and even hack to my roots as a Catholic. I remain indifferent to church attendance no matter where I attend.

    I have no drive or desire to be a spiritual leader in my home. I have never had a drive to be a leader in anything that I do. My wife wants me desperately to lead, but I continue not too since I have never had a drive to lead.

    My Bible reading is dry, even after I have prayed before and after for the holy spirit to bring me an understanding of what I am going to read or have read. I have no excitement reading the Bible. It's just bleh to me.

    I have never been a horrible person, yes, I sin and have sinned, I am not saying that I haven't, but I'm not a horrible person. I have never done drugs, smoked or been drunk. I don't mind helping people out and I have never been racist. I have really only had an anger problem.

    I have asked for God to help me with this, I have asked for the baptism of the holy spirit, I have pleaded and begged.

    I know that Jesus died on the cross for mine and all people's sins and rose again on the third day. I have no issues there. I believe in that completely. I just don't think that I have ever been truly Christian.

    I am not sure what I am looking for advice wise by posting this.
  2. Welcome to the board. Well I don't necessarily believe in the sinners prayer. Jesus already paid for our sins, all you need to do is accept him as who he said he is. God doesn't want us to plead and beg. He has already healed, forgiven, and blessed us. Praise the Lord in prayer and walk in faith. Jesus commanded the fig tree to die and it did. We have the authority as Christians, through the Holy Spirit, to take control of our lives. It is a spiritual fight and in a fight we don't beg do we? Take control and walk in faith and you will see a change.
  3. It really is not as easy as you say it is. I have been doing this for five years now, and there has been no change.

    I'm also not sure that you really understood the bulk of my post, as I have accepted him as who he say he is, that's not an issue, everything else is though.
  4. I understand you believe in Jesus and I'm confident you are a Christian. You are saying you are lacking in the spiritual feeling or drive to be a crazy, radical in love with Jesus Christian? Change your prayer life. Start by praising God. One minister says prayer life should be 90% praise and 10% everything else. Satan is a liar and is loving it he is keeping you from a deep sincere relationship with the Lord. This is why I say fight. Put on the Armor of God and command that serpent out of your life. Satan will find any little kink in our armor and use it to keep us from God.
  5. There is a big difference in the emotions of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). There aren't any negative emotions in God's Spirit. When we get saved it is not just having faith to get saved and then we stop having faith. It is actually the beginning of a faith journey of trusting God. When you pray for help do you believe you will receive it? Faith is what let's the Holy Spirit work through us. Faith is a moment to moment trust in God. It allows the presence of God to work through us and enliven us. God has to have our faith to work with us. When we are in faith giving everything to God, we walk in God's Spirit and in His Spirit we cannot get angry because in God's Spirit there is no anger.

    "everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). When we are saved the goal is not to fix our sin natures, which were nailed to the cross and buried. The goal is to walk in God's Spirit where there is no sin nature. Only by faith can we be in His Spirit which is where you will experience being the new creation.

    When you raised your hand did you have full understanding in what Jesus did for you (he was tortured and died for you, that your sin self was nailed to the cross, and that you rose as a new creation in Christ). It sounds like you understand but did you have full faith and trust in Jesus doing this for you or was it just an emotional energy that you felt in the room that compelled you. Do you fully have faith that God has done this for you?

    If you are unsure there is nothing wrong with praying in real faith this time. If you did have faith, you still need that same faith everyday.

    Maybe we could start with some scripture. There are many on here who would love to look at the bible with you and you would be able to see that it isn't as bleh as you believe. "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ" (Romans 10:17). The Word of God will give you faith.

    Is there a passage you would like to start with? If you would like to do this, but don't know where to start, I can come up with a scripture.

    I want you to know God and His presence, but the word will build your faith and together we will be able to explore how interesting the bible actually is.

    God bless you. Olivia
  6. What is the sinners prayer? Can someone direct me to the bible verses that speak of it?
  7. My walk sounds similar to yours. I was saved in '96. Many backslides and bumps along the way, I now have a real relationship with Christ. I now know that I never fully surrendered every part of me. I was still holding onto a lifestyle of drug and alcohol use. I wanted to be able to be a Christian and have an "escape clause." Even when I had been sober for more than a year, I still wanted to be able to use if the occasion arose. I didn't reach this conclusion until my wife left me and I was forced to take a hard look. I realized I hadn't fully submitted to Him. Mix that with some bad theology and I spent more than a decade wondering why everything was so different for me. I had to be broken, I had to be put in a position where He was all I had left. And then all things changed. I was so naive concerning the Holy Spirit and His role in our lives. That's who made the difference for me.
  8. Sounds a lot like me G F...(off topic...are you a Bass Master)
  9. I'm no bassmaster. I'd rather be on a creek in a canoe than on a lake in a bass boat.

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