Non Christian Friends.

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by Leap of faith, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. Non Christian Friends.

    Lately I find it hard to be friends with non Christian's. They are good people and important to me, but they bring out a bad side of me. A careless, selfish, mean, and swearing person I don't like. I don't want to let these people go, but I can't allow myself to walk their path.. I only have like three Christian friends. The rest are non believers. I see the difference between those with belief and those without.

    My Christian friends are very genuine people. Though the other day two of my non believer friends were talking behind my back, deciding mutually that I wasn't worth keeping around as a friend and then decided to be my friend again. And before that they were making fun of God.. and all those who follow in His footsteps. Its becoming hard to be friends with those who aren't Christian. What should I do? Part of me wants to forget them, but another part.. I want help them.. but I don't think they want to be helped.

    As Jesus said, "They will hate you because of me." I am willing to be hated for Him, but do I just stop talking to these people or try to bring God's word into their life?
  2. That is a road all new believers must tread. If your friends leave you because you found Christ then they honestly were not your friends at all. If possible keep the door open to reach them but if not Christ always comes first. Either way keep these lost souls covered in prayer- God hears your every cry.
    autumn oddity likes this.
  3. I have a friend who lives very much in the world and by worldly standards is doing well. I am pretty sure she snickers behind my back about certain things. I find myself feeling more distant from her than before, the nearer I draw to the Lord. I am probably not "cool" enough for her anymore. She believes but I think she would probably subscribe to the "church of Oprah" too if given the chance. She is not saved. Probably what the Lord would call "lukewarm" as in the kind of lukewarm he would spit out of his mouth.
    We talk about our past days together, before I was walking in the Lord and she relishes them more than I do but that is soon all we will have left is memories.

    I have many friends in our church and a couple really close ones that are becoming more and more dear to me as I realize more and more 'where it's really at'.
    I will always care for her and her family and the door is always open. The ball is in her court though.
  4. Yes ... It is very hard to find GOOD CHRISTIAN FRIENDS these days. I know that for sure ... because my daughter went from growing up and attending a CHRISTIAN SCHOOL and WOW what a change that for her because in August 2007 she started college & well it is a small community college and so it was a big change for her. But, on the good side she adjusted very well and made some new friends. They may not be Christians but they are good friends !
  5. Leap -

    There is nothing wrong with having friends who do not believe in God but the consequences of it is that they will not understand you. Most non-believers (that I have met) are surprised I am not a "Jesus freak" and I am not running around hitting people over the heads with Bibles and criticizing them for every mistake and then trying to make like I am perfect.

    I have met a number of atheists who I liked and I could have discussions with. The only difference we had is our beliefs but beyond that we were pretty cool and had the same feelings on many things.

    What my grandmother told me is that you should be the salt and light of this world. Have a lot of saltiness. That doesn't mean you have to tell them 24/7 about Jesus Christ and such but it should be primarily your actions and such. They will see what you are doing and if they are willing and if they hearts are not closed they will be open and genuinely curious about God and want help. I only speak to those who are willing to learn about God...maybe that is just me (personally). :)
  6. Near,

    I completely agree, but my friends are a bit sour towards me lately cause one of my Christian friends choose to question their beliefs, now they aren't happy with me either for one reason or another. I try to stray away from that subject with my friends, but I am not ashamed of my faith with them. If they bring it up, negative or positive, I will talk about it. Like one of my friends said "I went to church" and they aren't a believer and I talked about it with them how their experience at church was, and then they got awkward and didn't want to talk about it anymore.

    Its difficult sometimes though. I don't want to see my friends never accept God.. I don't want them to be sent to Hell..
  7. Hey Leap,

    I understand 100%. Maybe they need some more time...sometimes they just have to get comfortable to the change. If someone leaves it most likely for the better. I know it is hard but you should pray for them...that's really the best you can do for now. You don't want to be to pushy on them...y'know?

    Love you,


  8. Yeah, but they remind me of Pharaoh in a way. Such hardened hearts, they believe their way is the way and that's it. Its their will. I do need to pray for them more.. I try my best not to be pushy with them, even when they say hurtful things about my faith I just turn the other check you know. "They will hate you because of me." Those words I keep remembering when I have these type of problems.
  9. Yes it is sad the way thing are. I is their will and choice and only God can change them. Ask Him for guidance and love and understanding. Maybe one day they'll change...:)

  10. My only close friends are nonbelievers or they are Christians but just don't care much about getting deep into their faith. I enjoy hanging out with them and have tons of fun memories with them but they do live the earth's way of life. Like you said, I don't want to see them end up in hell. Sometimes I wonder if it is time for me to try to find some new friends. It'd be extremely hard to just walk away from the only group of friends I have. The thing to do is pray for them and ask God to open their hearts. Or one day if you are talking to them about a problem on the phone, right before you hang up just say "I'll pray for you." That might just open up a little space in their heart to be curious about God.
  11. Friends

    This is not hard.

    We are not to be unequally yoked with non-believers. I don't hang out with nobody that is not saved. Also not all people that are saved walk in the love and revelation of God, nor seem to choose to even try.

    When trying to keep old friendships with Non- going you do a few things that are not helpful.

    1) Going places with them and hanging out with them condone there unsaved state with them knowing your a Christian. Don't be yoked with non-believers.

    2) You put yourself in a atmosphere of Doubt and Unbelief when we are told to walk by faith (What the Word says) and not by sight. This makes it hard to keep worldly things from not getting sown into us. Unbelievers walk by sight and are moved by world circumstances and trouble. We are never to be moved or sad about these things.

    3) Being their friend, it is not likely that they will accept you preaching at them and you may even be considered a hypocrite as they remember your former mistakes.

    4) Remember that they have a "UNBORN" again spirit that is satanic in nature. They may seem like the best unsaved friend in the world, but still have a nature that can turn on you at a moments notice. This can cause you pain and leave you wondering how such a good friend could do such a thing to you, when in reality they are just following their unsaved state.
    Their love is based on feelings and not based on the Word of God that is not based on feelings. Feelings are never sound ground to stand on and can change to hate at any given time.

    5) Your care and love for them would have you walk in the power of God and be an example. Your example of a blessed life and full of anointing and joy draws those that do not have that to the Lord Jesus. It may take a few years but God can use you when those old friends come to the knowledge that they need Jesus. The choices you make now can effect their future.

    Jesus Is Lord.........
  12. Try forgiving them if you haven't. Why did you become friends with them in the first place? Before all of this started couldn't you have gotten along fine? I think maybe you need to have patience. If you are not friends with those people anymore then what is the chance that you will be able to share Christianity with them as opposed to if you are friends with them? Wherever you go you will end up being around non Christian people and if you simply avoid them then there is a much worse chance that they will be able to become interested in Christianity.
  13. Avoid?

    Nobody said avoid the World.

    I talk to and am nice to everyone and judge nobody.

    As for "Hanging out" as a friend, then no. I will talk with them about the Word of God but apart from that we have nothing in common.

    Jud 1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
    Jud 1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
    Jud 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:
    Jud 1:23 And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

    1Co 5:11
    But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one no not to eat.

    If someone called a brother in Christ is a drunkard or living in sin we are told not to keep company with that person. How much more those that have not accepted Jesus.

    If I am to go "OUT" with the unsaved it will be something I set up to witness, not something I get warped up with them.

    There is a difference with running with the rest of the crowd and having someone over to discuss Jesus or helping them with issues in life.

    Jesus Is Lord.
  14. The day comes comes when a believer asks themselves, 'where have all my friends gone?' and then you focus on your real Friend, the one that died for you. And then you remind yourself that you're in the world, but not of it. You are dead to what you were before. And by God's grace may we love the Lord like this;

    "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth." Psalm 73:25

    Being forsaken by our friends of the flesh helps our spirit long a little more for Jesus. Who was forsaken so that we would be found.
  15. I don't know if I can agree with you, Brother Mike. If only someone who was a Christian had hung with me before I became Christian, I may have been a changed person sooner. God knows I was seeking. I even remember some co-workers who I knew were different and at peace with themselves, who knew I was having an affair. They said nothing to me. Not one thing. I just thought they were stuck up and I knew they disapproved, but I would not bother talking to them either.

    Now, if I know one of my mom's at work is lost, I speak to her and tell her that if there is anything she wants to share with me, I will be willing to listen. Now, I'm taking one of them to church with me. I just wish someone would have befriended me about 30 years ago.

    I still go out with the girls who work with me and they know my testimony, but they also know my struggles and have told me they admire my life. I know my boundries, but I wonder where the line is drawn. I think it is when and if they see no difference in me. They know I should not drink because of my beliefs, or at least go to a bar with them, but they also know I understand and will not judge them. Maybe I should not be having anything to do with them, but I've been where they are and they know it. They are watching me grow. So, I believe it depends on how you communicate God's love to them, and the boundries you set. I could be wrong, I understand, but something about what you said made me realize that I'm where I am now because someone finally cared enough to say something to me.
  16. Bless God.


    Well, I never said forsake them completely....... This is not a do this or just this type of thing. I am not giving absolute rules......

    let's say everyone wants to go out for a drink. They ask you to come along knowing your a Christian.

    If you go with them. THEN.........

    1) you as the anointed one of God and as God's representative (You represent Jesus and the anointing.) You are (God is) saying it is OK to go and have drinks at a bar. I am not saying that having a drink is sin, but What is your unsaved friends reason for Going? Intent is everything.

    If you and a Christian friend have a drink at a bar, to talk and fellowship then your intent is pure. (Notice: I don't condone Drinking or anything that hinders our ability to hear God, but there is no scripture that says this is sin. Being drunk however is another issue.)

    2) If your friends are still around you and in your life, then they should come to the understanding that you are saved and are only interested in the Things of the Lord. Your not following them, but they seeing the power and peace of God in you will want to follow you. Be an example of Christ in you.

    3) We are called be be separate from this World. Anyone that is unsaved is born of the Devil. Their father is the devil and you should be aware of this. There spirit is dead and not alive. If we are to remain a light to our friends we have to keep that wall up. Things that they see us allow or things that we follow them in will hinder getting them help when they cry out.

    4) Prayer is powerful in getting people to see the knowledge of the truth. If you truly love them, then you pray for them. God is faithful to uphold his word for you on their behalf. Believe for them and expect the best, just don't get warped up in their ways.

    Here is an example of prayer with scripture............

    Satan I command you to take your veil off the eyes of my friends. They shall see the light of the Glorious Gospel of Christ in whom you have hid from them. (2 Cor 4:4)
    Father I thank you as you give my friends the Spirit of revelation and knowledge of you, that there eyes of understanding will be enlightened and they know what is the hope of your calling. (Eph 1:16-23)
    I call my friends as Sisters and Brothers in Christ. (Rom 4:17)
    Father God, send the laborers in their path, everywhere they turn they will hear of the work of my Lord Jesus. (Luke 10:2)
    Precious Holy Spirit convict them of their sin and show them their need for Jesus as your a witness to my Great King. (John 16:8)
    Father I thank you as your Word can never fail, and your will is that all be saved and come to the knowledge of the Truth. (1 Tim 2:4)
    In the Mighty name of my Lord Jesus I consider this done!! I will not doubt or be moved by the acts of their flesh anymore knowing that your word is being performed in their life.

    Jesus Is Lord.

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